Take Care of What You Already Have

mindfulness, Mindfulness

In the age of consumerism, we are constantly being fed new trends and technologies that make us feel a need to stay current. Instead of working with what is already in our possession, we take it for granted while lusting after the new and shiny thing that is someone else’s. This mindset spills over into other aspects of our lives.

So here is your reminder to take care of what you already have:

Belongings: How many times have you bought something, worn it once, then tossed it to the side? I’m guilty. Clothes feel so much better when worn for the first time. If you feel like this, I urge you to go into your closet and re-organize it. Hang your clothes in a new way, wash your old shoes, untangle your jewelry, clean out your old backpacks and bags. Love them. Re-invent your outfits. It is possible to get excited about what you already own. Appreciate it all because that new accessory you want to buy will become old just like everything else in your closet.

Relationships: “I miss when everything was new, the honeymoon stage.” How many people in long-term relationships have you heard say this? A problem occurs in one of your relationships so you seek out something/ someone new. Take care of your existing relationships. Nourish them. Just like planting a flower, the first bud may be exciting, but if you keep watering and caring for it, it may become even more beautiful than you could’ve ever imagined.

Your Body: It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, but in the midst of trying to change your body and make it look more this or that, stop and think of how much your body does for you. Be grateful for your body right now. It is exactly what it needs to look like. It is worthy of care and love just the way it is.

Falling in Love with an Idea

Advice + Inspiration, mindfulness, Mindfulness, relationships, Uncategorized

Have you ever fallen in love with the idea of something? My guess is that you probably have.

We fall in love with the idea of a person, a lifestyle, a career.

We want what we can’t have. Why? We are quick to assume that because we can’t achieve something, we aren’t worthy of having it. This means we fall in love with ideas because we believe they will make us feel worthy. So what do we do? We work to change ourselves in order to fit into someone who is. This can mean changing our values, working hard to please others, or doing things that we actually don’t like.

There’s nothing wrong with self-betterment. In fact, it’s great to have goals to work toward. However, it is important to realize why we have the goals we have. If we have them in order to receive external rewards, it might be a good idea to re-evaluate. The only outcomes and feelings we can control are our own.

Imagine that your goal is to get a job to impress others. You work tirelessly to become qualified for this position and once you receive it, you get the response you wanted- people are congratulating you and some are even calling you successful. What a feeling! A month later, this is no longer the topic of conversation, and you are left with a job that you don’t even like.

One of my good friends once told me, “I used to work so hard to prove myself to others until one day I realized that no one actually cares.” He’s right. When you think about it like this, you start making decisions for yourself. What actually makes YOU feel satisfied? If no one was watching you and you had nothing to prove, how would you behave? What makes you happy with out other people’s approval?

What about when it comes to relationships? A relationship ends, and we fantasize how great our partner was. We begin to tell ourselves that if we just improve this or that, that we might be worthy of their love. We focus on becoming better, but we do it for the wrong reasons. You do not have to prove yourself to this person. Take all the good that you see in this person, and start believing those things about yourself. You do not have to win anyone over.

Win yourself over.

Stop falling in love with ideas, fall in love with yourself.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Stop Passion Searching

advice, Uncategorized

Haven’t found your true passion yet? Guess what? it’s okay.

Yesterday morning I got back into my old morning routine: I didn’t press snooze, prepared food for the day and went for a long walk while listening to an inspirational podcast.

The podcast episode: “The Curiosity-Driven Life” on SuperSoul Conversations with Oprah

The episode featured the author of Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert. Right away she tells us to stop searching for our passions. What? I thought she was crazy, but when we hear something controversial it makes us want to learn more, right?

She explained how she used to preach “follow your passion” until one day she received a Facebook message from a woman saying she didn’t have one, and that her speeches actually made her feel worse. It had never occurred to her that not everyone knew what their passion was their whole life as she had.

This challenged her view on life and people and now she has a new belief and speech;

There are hammers and there are hummingbirds.

Gilbert describes herself as being a hammer. Since kindergarten she’s known that she loves to write and has been writing ever since. Do you know people like this in your life? They have one true passion and have stuck with it since you’ve known them. I’ve always been envious of these types of people.

The other type of person she describes as being hummingbirds. I absolutely fall into this category. She said this type of person is always trying new things and exploring. She brings up her friend who has had several career paths in her life. If this is you, her advice is instead of searching for your “one true passion” just follow your curiosities. This takes the pressure off of having to stick to one thing. When we do this, we can enjoy and learn at our own free will. It’s not as serious as we have previously made it to be.

The beauty of a hummingbird

Hummingbirds cross-pollinate. As someone who has experienced and tried many things, you have the ability to take what you’ve learned in one place and apply elsewhere. Experience is wisdom.

In the podcast, Gilbert says that she is the person many people come to for counseling and advice. But she says that when she is in a rut, she calls her hummingbird friend. Her friend has lived through so much that she does not judge anyone for where they are in their life. And because she has experienced so much, she has wisdom to draw from many places to give great advice.

I really love that.

Are you a hammer or a hummingbird?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Everyone You Meet

Advice + Inspiration

If you’re reading this right now, there’s a reason. The same goes for everyone you’ve met.

You may have heard the over-used phrase that every person you meet is either a lesson or a blessing. Regardless of if this is true or not, there is no mistake in who crosses your path.

Tonight, I crossed paths with someone who re-sparked a light in me. Has this ever happened to you? It happens in the most unexpected moments, doesn’t it?

The woman who re-sparked this light deserves credit: Dr. Verna Price.

She is… Bold.

Every word she spoke was everything that I needed to hear.

Who would I be if I didn’t share with others?

Before tonight, I had no motivation. I stopped doing the things I loved. She helped me realize that.

So while I wish I could just copy and paste everything that she said, I can’t. I did, however, take notes. A lot of them.

Here are a few of them:

  • You are not depressed or stressed.. you need to get up and figure it out. Be bold.
  • The reason you’re not succeeding is because you are telling yourself that you won’t.
  • The sign of a great leader is someone who knows themselves well enough to follow themselves.
  • Pay attention to what’s coming out of your mouth and your heart
  • Who you are in private is the most important
  • And finally… our destiny is intertwined with everyone we meet

Everyone who was in the room during her speech was in there for a reason.

Pay close attention to the messages around you and the people who surround you. What purpose do they serve?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Why You Need to Stop This Mindset

Advice + Inspiration, Uncategorized

If I lose 20 pounds then I’ll be happy

If I get a promotion then I’ll be successful

If I get this job then I’ll be good enough

If I get 10k followers then I will feel pretty

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!

Stop placing your worth, happiness, and success in the achievement of something in the future. When we do this, we basically tell ourselves that we cannot be happy until we get these things.

Think back to when you were a child. You’re in a grocery store trying to convince your parents to buy you a toy. You tell yourself that there is no possible way you will be happy unless they agree to buy you the thing. You have already decided that you will throw a fit if you don’t get what you want. This time you’re lucky- your parents agree to buy you it! Now you feel so happy… for a moment…. but it doesn’t last.

How many times have you placed your happiness on getting something that you look back on now and have to laugh? Turns out the American Girl Doll wasn’t the secret to our lasting happiness after all. Just like getting that new designer purse isn’t either.

How happy you are now is likely to determine how happy you will be in the future. It is fine to look forward to something. In fact, it’s totally healthy, but this is different than deciding you won’t be happy until something happens for you.

We aren’t the best at predicting what will happen in the future. Think about it. Who did you want to become when you were younger? What did you think you’d be doing right now 5 years ago? I can speak for myself and say that these are two very different things.

So decide today that you will be happy. Not when you get that new car or those new shoes. This only lasts so long until you are lusting over the next new thing.

Decide to be happy because you have goals and values that guide what you do. Be happy because you are in this moment right now and have made it this far. Be happy to be authentically you. And be happy that you are on a mission to change your life and the lives of others too.