An Admirable Trait

It was presentation day, and our group was up next.

Nerves were setting in, and I turned to a classmate, “Well, here goes nothing. I’m so nervous.”

She looks at me. Pauses and then says, “You’re a great presenter- you’re talented, and you can do this.”

I’m not repeating what she said to rub my own ego but rather to acknowledge her words and actions.

How many times has someone come to you with an insecurity and you’ve responded by:

A. Being annoyed assuming that they were seeking attention

or

B. By saying something like “you’re fine, stop.”

(Both of which are completely not comforting)

Let’s face it. We all feel anxious and insecure at some point in our lives. All of us. Sometimes in these moments we really just need positive affirmations.

So I encourage you next time someone comes to you with an insecurity or fear not to respond with:

“Shut up you’re not ____”

“Whatever!”

“Stop”

Instead, try positive reinforcements. It can feel like extra effort, but it’s worth it. These are phrases that sound like:

“You are worthy, and you will get through this. I believe in you”

“You’re intelligent, and you will figure it out”

“Your *insert body insecurity* is perfect the way it is”

It will make a world of a difference in that person’s day. It did for me.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Falling in Love with an Idea

Have you ever fallen in love with the idea of something? My guess is that you probably have.

We fall in love with the idea of a person, a lifestyle, a career.

We want what we can’t have. Why? We are quick to assume that because we can’t achieve something, we aren’t worthy of having it. This means we fall in love with ideas because we believe they will make us feel worthy. So what do we do? We work to change ourselves in order to fit into someone who is. This can mean changing our values, working hard to please others, or doing things that we actually don’t like.

There’s nothing wrong with self-betterment. In fact, it’s great to have goals to work toward. However, it is important to realize why we have the goals we have. If we have them in order to receive external rewards, it might be a good idea to re-evaluate. The only outcomes and feelings we can control are our own.

Imagine that your goal is to get a job to impress others. You work tirelessly to become qualified for this position and once you receive it, you get the response you wanted- people are congratulating you and some are even calling you successful. What a feeling! A month later, this is no longer the topic of conversation, and you are left with a job that you don’t even like.

One of my good friends once told me, “I used to work so hard to prove myself to others until one day I realized that no one actually cares.” He’s right. When you think about it like this, you start making decisions for yourself. What actually makes YOU feel satisfied? If no one was watching you and you had nothing to prove, how would you behave? What makes you happy with out other people’s approval?

What about when it comes to relationships? A relationship ends, and we fantasize how great our partner was. We begin to tell ourselves that if we just improve this or that, that we might be worthy of their love. We focus on becoming better, but we do it for the wrong reasons. You do not have to prove yourself to this person. Take all the good that you see in this person, and start believing those things about yourself. You do not have to win anyone over.

Win yourself over.

Stop falling in love with ideas, fall in love with yourself.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Preparing for Transition

So, what’s next?

A question that can evoke so much emotion: both negative and positive. There are times when the idea of “what’s next” is thrilling. Limitless possibilities. While other times we ask the question and feel intense unease. What if I make the wrong decisions? What if it doesn’t work out? What if, What if, What if…

The uncertainty of what’s next can cause us to over analyze and hyper plan to re-gain some certainty in our lives. Change can be terrifying and confusing.

Having felt the aches of not being able to decide what’s next, I have searched for many ways to cope with the feeling. Here’s what I have decided to do: reflect, learn and give back.

Reflection: What do you value and what gives you energy and fulfillment? No matter where you are in life, you need to make sure that you are staying true to these two things. In my case, I love attending events. Creating. Encouraging others. I value honesty, loyalty, and kindness. I know that no matter where I go, I will carry these values with me. I will continue to search for meaningful experiences and events in my community.

Learning and Giving Back: We crave to grow. That’s the human experience. Just sit back and think of how much you have left to learn in this world. There is so much that has been unexplored. So many ideas that you haven’t even been introduced to yet. I walk through the public library in my city and think of all the books I have yet to touch. Learn from people. Listen to their stories. What has their experience been like? How can you help them? What can you do to improve the environment around you? Your community?

Focus on what you can do today to be true to yourself and to enjoy the present moment whether that be by reading a self-help book with a classmate, finding a new self-care routine, or by going for a long walk. Tomorrow isn’t here yet. You only have today and right now. Don’t be so busy planning for the next chapter that you forget to enjoy and appreciate what you have in this moment.

Thanks for reading,

XO coco

What’s your Life Blueprint?

You can imagine my disbelief when my friend, who is embarking her motivational speaking career, told our friend group that she had never heard of Tony Robbins. Excuse me. What?!

When I was in high school, I discovered Pinterest. This was the beginning of my obsession with motivational quotes which translated into watching motivational videos on YouTube. I remember one of the first motivational speeches I watched on youtube; it was given by Tony Robbins. I remember watching this video and then watching all of his videos and thinking to myself that he truly had life figured out.

Fast-forward a few years and I’m listening to a podcast, called Earn Your Happy, where the hostess, Lori Harder, interviewed someone who was once one of Tony’s interns. Omg I thought. Tony Robbins!

So, the other day I was browsing YouTube jumping around between different TED Talks, and one of the suggested videos was one by Tony Robins that was titled change your life blueprint.

I swear I had seen this video before, but it still resonated with me so much. In Tony’s speech, he explains that the reason why we are unhappy with ourselves is because our vision of what our life should look like doesn’t match what it really is.

We have these ideas of what the perfect relationship is in our minds or the perfect job or our perfect body and we compare this mental vision to our reality. This disconnect makes us feel depressed, unsatisfied, and can cause great amounts of anxiety.

Is this true for you? I know in my life I create ideals of where I should be in my career, what kinds of relationships are in my life, how much money I should have, and what I should look like.

Tony’s resolution? Either change you mental blueprint of what your life should look like or change your life to meet the blueprint. Realize what blueprints in your life are unrealistic and create new ones or alter them so they can match your life.

One person Tony talked about in the speech was an athlete who wasn’t able to play anymore due to physical injuries. This athlete became depressed and hopeless. He said he would never be happy again unless he was able to play the sport again. In his blueprint, the only way he would make his family proud and support them was through playing this sport. It wasn’t until he realized that he could create a new path for himself that he was able to find happiness again. This wasn’t the one and only way he could find success in his life. It was time to create a new blueprint for himself.

Even when we try not to, we are constantly comparing ourselves whether it’s to that vision of what our life should be like or to others. In the end, this comparison rarely does anything for us unless we reflect when we catch ourselves doing it.

I want to end this post with a quote I saw this morning posted by Jhene Aiko:

So, what is your current “life blueprint” what adjustments will need to be made?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Last Day of 2018

This year feels like it did not happen.

2018. The year my life changed.

Those who know me know that I am constantly changing and finding new interests mostly because I’m a naturally curious person but this year was different. I found purpose.

I don’t usually like to write about myself, but here is what happened in 2018:

– I dove deeper into my major and made great relationships with my professors

– I made new friends who continue inspire me

– I created my blog extremely spontaneously and fell in love with it

– I became genuinely happy. Yes there were ups and downs but through bad relationships and experiences I found out how to truly take care of myself

– I became closer to my sister which has been one of the greatest blessings to me

So this is the time of the year where we look back at the year, reflect, then decide on resolutions, right? I keep thinking of the habits I have already implemented and think these “resolutions” are an addition to everything I’ve already added to my life.

So, 2019… I want it to look something like this:

Focus on growth and giving

– Volunteer once a month

– Eat one vegetable a day. Sounds kind of silly I know. Some weeks go by and I’m like when’s the last time I ate a vegetable? So even if it’s just one carrot or even a piece of an avocado this is my goal.

– Read daily. Hard copy. It can be one page but I do need to read more.

– Have a solid morning routine and learn to enjoy working out in the morning. Read, journal, and exercise. I keep hearing that the most productive days are when you get the hardest thing done first.

– Cook more. I am guilty of buying the same foods every time I grocery shop and not making real food. In 2019 I want to learn new recipes and cook one proper meal a week.

– Blog weekly!

-Love more

What’s your resolution?

The Secret to Getting Out of a Rut

Start.

I’m kidding, but kind of not..

Do you ever skip a day at the gym which then turns into a week of skipping and then the next think you know you haven’t gone for two months? Yeah, that.

Why is it that it is so easy for a cheat day to snowball into a cheat year? Or for a day of being a couch potato to turn into a couch potato lifestyle?

I am going to admit- this has been me for the past week. Before that, I was on my grind for like a month! I was meal prepping, doing workouts at home AND at the gym, I was waking up early, and was almost never on social media. Living my best life.

So, what changed that? A change in routine. I love and hate routines at the same time. Routine holds me accountable, but it can get boring.

What was the result of a change in routine? A change in priorities and endless excuses as to why I wasn’t being as productive as I could be.

Can you relate? Keep reading,

So today was my first day back at the gym. What steps did I take to get out of the rut I’ve been in for weeks?

The first: Reflecting.

How good did I feel when I was going to the gym nearly every day? How lazy did I feel when I slowly stopped? Which of the two feelings do I prefer? What’s more worth it for me and what aligns most with my long term goals?

The second: Realizing the excuses I was making took more energy than the things I was making excuses for.

It takes so much energy to come up with excuses for yourself. The common excuse for me has been “I don’t have time” REALLLLLY? So, I had time to watch netflix and go out and scroll through every single social media platform but not workout for even 30 minutes? yeahhhh ok.

The third: Really and truly just showing up.

Instead of thinking too much about how hard the task will be, just begin. Create the word document, write out the list of ideas, make a to-do list, just show up at the gym. Don’t think about the details too much- START! I read this quote earlier this week and it said “worrying about something before it even happens is basically putting yourself through the pain of the event twice”. So very true.

So today, when I went to the gym, I brought my iPad and responded to emails while on the elliptical. Since I hadn’t been to the gym in weeks, I thought I would take it easy, but ended up running for 45 minutes! It felt so good.

I promise once you take the first steps in getting back into a routine you’ll truly wonder why you ever stopped.

The hardest part is just to start and it’s all in your head. Stop the excuses and do it.

You know you will feel so much better accomplishing what you’ve been putting off than continuing to make excuses.

Does anyone else have any tricks they use to get out of a rut? I would love to hear!

Thanks for reading 🙂

 

 

Own It

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There are so many things that I used to keep to myself because I was what? Afraid.

My whole school career was wasted saying nothing because I was afraid of sounding dumb. I never pursued my ideas because of fear of being judged. What is that? Sad.

I have friends who tell me excitedly about pursuing a dream. I get excited for them! We talk a few weeks later, and I ask about their pursuit. What do I hear? Every reason why it can’t happen. Why?

We let doubt and fear consume our minds. Ever share your goals with someone and they tell you every reason why it can’t happen for you? You let someone else’s fear and doubt consume your mind too! Just like that.

These thoughts sound something like-

“This industry is already oversaturated, I won’t make it.”

“It’s more work than I had thought. I just can’t”

“I don’t have enough money or resources”

etc. etc. etc.  etc.

My a**.

Here’s my advice: OWN IT.

Who are you? Own It.

What do you love? Own it.

What are your dreams? Own them.

Easier said then done right? Here’s something I want you to think about. What do you have to lose? Yourself- if you don’t own it.

Putting “Own It” into your daily practice is a conscious daily choice. For me, it has been joining groups that I was afraid of joining, asking the questions I used to be scared to ask, sharing ideas that have the potential to be rejected. Scary!!!! Omg. I have a mini heart attack almost every day.

But, you know what? The more doors you knock on, the more doors that will be opened for you. This is exactly what has been happening for me. So very worth it.

What does that mean?

No guts, no glory. You have to dare to be true to you and do what you know you need to do. Yes, you will be afraid- do it anyways.

Live your dream. No one got to where they wanted to be by being comfortable.

I saw a quote today that said “nothing changes without change”

So, what if you fail? Own it.

What if it doesn’t turn out how you wanted it to? Own it.

But what if it does?

 

I hope this post inspired you. Just Own It!!! (haha omg I feel like this sounds like a nike commercial.. well) Thanks for reading.

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