Finding Deeper Meaning

Like many who come into college, I started my academic career by taking “generals”. These are classes like sociology 1001, biology 1000, and intro to psychology.

In these courses, we skim the various topics that pertain to the overall subjects- like in biology we briefly went over definitions of evolution, genetics, and cell functions. Each topic covered spanned about two weeks long. We took an exam, forgot about what we learned, and then moved onto the next subject.

While these classes gave us a chance to explore the wide range of studies available to us, they lacked an in-depth understanding of why the lessons were meaningful and didn’t give us the ability to have long conversations about what we had learned.

It’s not until 3000-level subjects when we are able to completely unpack and learn deeply a certain aspect of an overarching subject. We take more time focusing on each lesson and usually have one big project that we work on the entire semester.

What does this have to do with deeper meaning?

Have you ever gone to a social gathering and realized you are engaging in surface level conversations with people?

These conversations sound like tape recordings “how are you?” “how’s work?” “what’s new?”

After a while, these conversations drain our energy. Why is that?

We crave connection and meaning.

Social gatherings honestly suck until you get into those unique conversations that you don’t engage with in your everyday life. They excite us and make us feel like we are really getting to know the person we are talking with.

These conversations usually occur once we get more comfortable and situated in an environment.

If you are like me, you want to give everyone attention at an event. You want to say hi to everyone, but sometimes engaging with just a few people allows for more memorable conversations plus once you have a really good conversation it makes it easier to engage in more.

Not only do I enjoy depth in social settings, but I find when I work on just one or two projects during the day, I feel much more satisfied. Focusing on finishing a book or an art project instead of doing small bits of everything is much more rewarding. Trying to pack too much in our day makes for a chaotic life.

So what I’m really trying to say is that engaging with more in-depth content is so much more interesting and fulfilling. When my day has at least one deep interaction or lesson, I feel peaceful and whole. When my days are full of lots of superficial content, I feel like something is missing. In some ways, this deeper meaning is achieved by simplicity. Less can be more.

What do you think?

Why Do We Fear Rejection?

How many times has the fear of rejection stopped you from doing something?

Why? Rejection really sucks!

Sorry, you didn’t get the job. I think we should just be friends. I don’t like your outfit/project/etc.

Ouch!

Here’s the thing- every single human has experienced some form of rejection.

Who experiences the most rejection? The people who put themselves out there the most.

Being curious about the effects of rejection and recommendations for recovering from it, I did some scholarly research.. on wikihow. Sorry professors who are reading!!

The wikihow article talks about how typically rejection causes people to take less risks. People who get rejected and don’t know how to cope properly end up making choices that are very risk adverse. They don’t want to feel that horrible feeling of rejection again! It makes total sense.

Sadly, the things we want the most cause us to take the greatest risks, so while we feel like we are protecting ourselves by not taking any, we are just preventing ourselves from living out our best lives. The result? A life of settling. Uninspiring and boring.

Think of playing poker. The greater of a risk you take the greater the reward you can potentially receive. If you play small, you will only get a small return. The same with taking risks. The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. You can’t win a race that you don’t enter. Yes it’s scary, but that’s why not everyone gets there.

The people who I’ve talked to who are the most successful against my standards have all experienced amounts of rejection that are greater than the average person. The difference? They continue to bounce back and don’t dwell on it too much. They keep focused on the goal. They have a different perspective on why they were rejected and continue to work hard for what they want. 

So while we can blame our rejection on not being good enough or on our flaws, this is actually the most counterproductive reaction we can have. 

Instead, we can look at rejection as a room for growth or realize that something wasn’t meant for us, but this doesn’t mean that we are any less worthy. It’s either not the right timing or not the right thing for us and that’s okay!

I want you to replace “I didn’t get ___ because I’m not smart enough” with “I did not get this because I didn’t have enough experience in ___ or knowledge in ___ so I will work hard on developing these skills.” This replaces hopeless feelings with actionable ones.

And sometimes something really is just not meant for us. In time, you will realize why. 

Please don’t let the fear of rejection stop you from chasing your dreams.

Here are some tips I found for coping with rejection:

  1. Talk to someone
  2. Be active- go for a walk, go to the gym, or clean
  3. Think about your successes
  4. Write it out
  5. Pamper yourself
  6. Take some time to recover (it’s normal to be sad)
  7. Don’t take it personally!
  8. Remember it’s not all about you (there are other factors as to why something didn’t work out)
  9. Be grateful
  10. Find the good in the situation

Thanks for reading. I hope this piece was helpful for anyone dealing with rejection.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO


Running Out of Things to Blog About?

It is so easy to write when you start your blog.

I remember the first two months of starting my blog, I was writing virtually every single day and sometimes even twice a day. I remember reading other bloggers posts saying things like “sorry I haven’t posted in a while, my new goal is to post once a week” I was like what! How could you not find things to write about?!

Then it happened- I got writer’s block. And the everyday struggle was thinking “What should I write about?”

Last week, I met with a freelance writer. She’s written for MSNBC, Refinery 29, and other very well-known publications.

When we got to chatting, I told her my problem:

“It was so easy writing when I started! But now I feel like writing less and less. I don’t even know what to talk about.”

Can you relate?

Well here’s the advice she gave me-

“Some of my favorite bloggers don’t even write everyday. They pick certain days to post. It’s about the consistency. Find the same day every week to post and find something unique to post about so people will be looking for your posts on that specific day every week.”

She showed me a blogger who literally just creates posts with links to her favorite articles every Tuesday. Like what?! I could do something like this. It sounds doable.

Find something that makes your blog unique and make it a weekly post.

I love this advice.

What do you do to ensure you have things to write about and don’t go MIA for months?

Let me know!

Thanks for reading.

Don’t Give Up

 

I know it’s hard

but don’t give up.

Some days taste like success-

others feel like pure failure

don’t give up.

you’ve climbed halfway up the mountain

but you’ve slipped down a couple of rocks

don’t give up.

Don’t throw away the table because it is dirty,

clean it.

Take care of your dreams,

they’re fragile-

don’t give up.

Look down,

you’ve come so far,

would you give away a year of growth

because of a few days of failure.

I hope not.

Get up.

Be proud of who you are

and what you will accomplish tomorrow.

You were made to do great things.

 

 

 

3 Girl Power Podcasts You Should Listen To

As promised,

here are my favorite (mostly) for women podcasts. I have many favorites, but here are the ones I’ve listened to most recently.

Some of these have been suggested by friends and other bloggers, so thank you!

The first: Earn Your Happy (the one I’m currently listening to)

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The second: Goal Digger

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The third: Girls Gone Boss

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Honestly, these three podcasts have pretty similar themes. They are guides to success and happiness. Each podcast is an interview with someone who followed their dreams and they talk about what their journey was like to get there. They offer great advice and insight. Super motivational and empowering. HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU LISTEN!

If you’re wondering when’s a good time to listen to a podcast here’s when I listen:

– during my commute to school

– on my daily walks (it makes them go by so quickly!)

– while working on projects

– when I need a boost of motivation

If you have any podcast suggestions, please send them my way.

I need new ones to listen to always.

Thank you for reading. Have an inspired day 🙂

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How Jealousy Serves a Purpose

Do you ever look at someone online and think “why am I not as rich, happy, successful, or thin as them?”. 

Do you ever talk to a friend or an acquaintance about their accomplishments and leave thinking “why is their life so much better than mine?” 

Comparing ourselves to others is completely natural, but it can be a bad habit that can steal our happiness.

You will never be the person you are comparing yourself to. You don’t know what they have done to get to where they are and they don’t know what you have done to get to where you are. 

Jealousy is a dangerous cycle. It can fill us with hatred and resentment towards ourselves and others. 

What if you took the negativity and anger that comparing gives you and began seeing it as a positive thing? 

Begin seeing jealousy as a point of growth and motivation.

Begin to reflect on your jealousy of others and question what this jealousy can do for you going forward.

For example- One day, you catch up with an old friend and when you see her she looks really good- she lost a bunch of weight, started a garden, and just got a new job that she keeps raving about.

What about her accomplishments has made you jealous?

I’m jealous that she looks super good

Instead of being jealous of your friend’s fitness success ask yourself if this is an area of your life that is lacking? Am I jealous because this is something I want to be bettering myself in? Your jealousy is serving a purpose- it’s a calling for something you have been wanting to do. 

From there- you can genuinely congratulate your friend and ask how she did it. Instead of being jealous- be inspired!!! (also note that success is contagious so you should always be happy that your friends are succeeding- and be patient you are next!) 

To wrap this post up:

Let’s face it- it can be really hard to prevent ourselves from feeling jealous of others. So, instead of sitting in horrible jealous feelings – turn these emotions into feelings of  inspiration. There is a reason why you are jealous of someone’s success: realize what it is and adjust your life accordingly.

Looking at jealousy as an opportunity for growth will help you understand that- where you are now isn’t a permanent state of being. You are still learning and bettering.

Let jealousy motivate you and become exactly who you want to be.

9 Tips on Having a Successful Event

Before the Event:

Tell People in advance

Even if you don’t have all of the details set up, let people know that you are thinking of having an event and what the general theme will be. You can send a flyer saying that more details are to come. This way people are already anticipating a follow-up and are getting excited about the event before you send out the rest of the information.

Make the invite personal

While you can send a general invitation, it is nice to send a personal note along with it. Something like “It wouldn’t be the same without you” or “I’m so excited that you are thinking of coming!”

Give enough information

Yes time, date and location are most important but what about size of the event, what  should they bring, what you will provide, and what the general dress code will be? It’s nice to come to an event knowing all of these details. It makes you feel comfortable and ensures that you don’t dress in a ballroom gown when everyone else is wearing jeans.

Get party favors + food

Remember when we were kids and the only thing that got us excited to go to birthday parties was receiving party favors at the end? (oh, and candy!) Well, I don’t think that ever really goes away. It’s fun to give out silly gifts to your guests because it makes them feel special. You don’t have to give a million dollar gift, but a little something to show appreciation for their presence goes a long way! And an event is not an event with out food.. don’t let your guests starve.

During the event

Introduce people

If your guests don’t all know each other- you should be introducing them! Offer them something to drink and let them chat it up.

Make sure everyone feels included

Take a look around. What’s everyone doing? If someone’s sitting in the corner make the effort to make them feel welcomed by offering them food, introducing them to someone they haven’t met yet, or just talk to them yourself! You can even play games to crack the ice and get more people involved.

Take Pictures!

Capture the fun moments, the food, the decorations, and the conversations.

Post event

Thank guests

Appreciation, again, goes a long way. The more appreciated someone feels at your event for taking the time to come- the more likely they are to go to your next event!

Send any pictures you have from the event

Who doesn’t love getting funny or cute pictures at the end of a night? You don’t have to send pictures right after they leave, but it’s always fun to receive pictures that other people took. So send them to your guests!