Where Do You Belong?

What’s your identity?

Is it defined by the books you read or the clothes you wear? Or maybe the people you surround yourself with?

As much as we hate to admit it, we often struggle with who we are.

I must be a fit person because I work out everyday.. but what if you don’t work out for a month? Would your identity change?

My identity must be defined by my family. What if your family comes from all over? You identify with everyone but at the same time with no one fully.

What if we could choose our identities? If we decided where we belonged and what we spent our time on. If our habits became our identity. If we could shape and change them daily.

How are your perspectives and attitudes shaping your identity?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Why You Need to Stop This Mindset

If I lose 20 pounds then I’ll be happy

If I get a promotion then I’ll be successful

If I get this job then I’ll be good enough

If I get 10k followers then I will feel pretty

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!

Stop placing your worth, happiness, and success in the achievement of something in the future. When we do this, we basically tell ourselves that we cannot be happy until we get these things.

Think back to when you were a child. You’re in a grocery store trying to convince your parents to buy you a toy. You tell yourself that there is no possible way you will be happy unless they agree to buy you the thing. You have already decided that you will throw a fit if you don’t get what you want. This time you’re lucky- your parents agree to buy you it! Now you feel so happy… for a moment…. but it doesn’t last.

How many times have you placed your happiness on getting something that you look back on now and have to laugh? Turns out the American Girl Doll wasn’t the secret to our lasting happiness after all. Just like getting that new designer purse isn’t either.

How happy you are now is likely to determine how happy you will be in the future. It is fine to look forward to something. In fact, it’s totally healthy, but this is different than deciding you won’t be happy until something happens for you.

We aren’t the best at predicting what will happen in the future. Think about it. Who did you want to become when you were younger? What did you think you’d be doing right now 5 years ago? I can speak for myself and say that these are two very different things.

So decide today that you will be happy. Not when you get that new car or those new shoes. This only lasts so long until you are lusting over the next new thing.

Decide to be happy because you have goals and values that guide what you do. Be happy because you are in this moment right now and have made it this far. Be happy to be authentically you. And be happy that you are on a mission to change your life and the lives of others too.

What’s your Life Blueprint?

You can imagine my disbelief when my friend, who is embarking her motivational speaking career, told our friend group that she had never heard of Tony Robbins. Excuse me. What?!

When I was in high school, I discovered Pinterest. This was the beginning of my obsession with motivational quotes which translated into watching motivational videos on YouTube. I remember one of the first motivational speeches I watched on youtube; it was given by Tony Robbins. I remember watching this video and then watching all of his videos and thinking to myself that he truly had life figured out.

Fast-forward a few years and I’m listening to a podcast, called Earn Your Happy, where the hostess, Lori Harder, interviewed someone who was once one of Tony’s interns. Omg I thought. Tony Robbins!

So, the other day I was browsing YouTube jumping around between different TED Talks, and one of the suggested videos was one by Tony Robins that was titled change your life blueprint.

I swear I had seen this video before, but it still resonated with me so much. In Tony’s speech, he explains that the reason why we are unhappy with ourselves is because our vision of what our life should look like doesn’t match what it really is.

We have these ideas of what the perfect relationship is in our minds or the perfect job or our perfect body and we compare this mental vision to our reality. This disconnect makes us feel depressed, unsatisfied, and can cause great amounts of anxiety.

Is this true for you? I know in my life I create ideals of where I should be in my career, what kinds of relationships are in my life, how much money I should have, and what I should look like.

Tony’s resolution? Either change you mental blueprint of what your life should look like or change your life to meet the blueprint. Realize what blueprints in your life are unrealistic and create new ones or alter them so they can match your life.

One person Tony talked about in the speech was an athlete who wasn’t able to play anymore due to physical injuries. This athlete became depressed and hopeless. He said he would never be happy again unless he was able to play the sport again. In his blueprint, the only way he would make his family proud and support them was through playing this sport. It wasn’t until he realized that he could create a new path for himself that he was able to find happiness again. This wasn’t the one and only way he could find success in his life. It was time to create a new blueprint for himself.

Even when we try not to, we are constantly comparing ourselves whether it’s to that vision of what our life should be like or to others. In the end, this comparison rarely does anything for us unless we reflect when we catch ourselves doing it.

I want to end this post with a quote I saw this morning posted by Jhene Aiko:

So, what is your current “life blueprint” what adjustments will need to be made?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Last Day of 2018

This year feels like it did not happen.

2018. The year my life changed.

Those who know me know that I am constantly changing and finding new interests mostly because I’m a naturally curious person but this year was different. I found purpose.

I don’t usually like to write about myself, but here is what happened in 2018:

– I dove deeper into my major and made great relationships with my professors

– I made new friends who continue inspire me

– I created my blog extremely spontaneously and fell in love with it

– I became genuinely happy. Yes there were ups and downs but through bad relationships and experiences I found out how to truly take care of myself

– I became closer to my sister which has been one of the greatest blessings to me

So this is the time of the year where we look back at the year, reflect, then decide on resolutions, right? I keep thinking of the habits I have already implemented and think these “resolutions” are an addition to everything I’ve already added to my life.

So, 2019… I want it to look something like this:

Focus on growth and giving

– Volunteer once a month

– Eat one vegetable a day. Sounds kind of silly I know. Some weeks go by and I’m like when’s the last time I ate a vegetable? So even if it’s just one carrot or even a piece of an avocado this is my goal.

– Read daily. Hard copy. It can be one page but I do need to read more.

– Have a solid morning routine and learn to enjoy working out in the morning. Read, journal, and exercise. I keep hearing that the most productive days are when you get the hardest thing done first.

– Cook more. I am guilty of buying the same foods every time I grocery shop and not making real food. In 2019 I want to learn new recipes and cook one proper meal a week.

– Blog weekly!

-Love more

What’s your resolution?

To Do:

Go above and beyond

Give the love you wish to receive

Create things you wished you had in a time when you felt stuck.

Give someone the confidence to live their dreams.

Life is better when we strive for greatness.

Wake up in the morning on a mission. How will I impact others today? And most importantly how will I impact my own life?

Learn something new.

Take time to just be.

Take time to enjoy your morning coffee.

Make time to be silly and laugh about stupid stuff.

You create your day and your life.

If you were to replay scenes from your life, what do you want them to look like? What will your life be full of?

3 Questions to Ask This Morning

Last night I had a dream.

Not like the ones I usually have. This one was strange.

So, I told you guys that I love asking questions… Well, in my dream I had an event. During the event, I had torn three large pieces of paper and wrote a question on each of them. WEIRD RIGHT?

These were the questions:

Who are you?

Where do you want to go?

How will you get there?

Woah. Was it a sign? In the dream, I had people writing out what they believed was true to them. I was guiding them through and telling them the following things:

“There is no judgement in what you write”

“Don’t base your answers on what other people have said. This is for you and your answers may look nothing like other people’s.”

Right after this, my alarm went off.

What do you think about dreams like this?

Happy Monday!

Running Out of Things to Blog About?

It is so easy to write when you start your blog.

I remember the first two months of starting my blog, I was writing virtually every single day and sometimes even twice a day. I remember reading other bloggers posts saying things like “sorry I haven’t posted in a while, my new goal is to post once a week” I was like what! How could you not find things to write about?!

Then it happened- I got writer’s block. And the everyday struggle was thinking “What should I write about?”

Last week, I met with a freelance writer. She’s written for MSNBC, Refinery 29, and other very well-known publications.

When we got to chatting, I told her my problem:

“It was so easy writing when I started! But now I feel like writing less and less. I don’t even know what to talk about.”

Can you relate?

Well here’s the advice she gave me-

“Some of my favorite bloggers don’t even write everyday. They pick certain days to post. It’s about the consistency. Find the same day every week to post and find something unique to post about so people will be looking for your posts on that specific day every week.”

She showed me a blogger who literally just creates posts with links to her favorite articles every Tuesday. Like what?! I could do something like this. It sounds doable.

Find something that makes your blog unique and make it a weekly post.

I love this advice.

What do you do to ensure you have things to write about and don’t go MIA for months?

Let me know!

Thanks for reading.