Just let it go
As most of the advice we are given, easier said than done.
Books and spiritual healers tell us the key to happiness and inner peace is to let go, but what exactly does that mean?
Let go of what is no longer serving you- that thought, belief, idea. Let go of that story you tell yourself where you are the victim.
Let go of the need for control. The more we feel the need to control a situation or another person, the more unhappy we find ourselves. The mentality is addictive and unhealthy. We do not own others. What they do is up to them as what we do is up to us.
What you do have control over is your contribution to any given space or relationship. Notice your thoughts. Question them frequently. Is this true or is this a story that is taking from my well-being?
Approach everything with a kind heart and watch your life flourish. Do it all out of love. What isn’t falling into place isn’t for a reason.
When we have the best intentions, give others the freedom to be themselves and aim to contribute to their happiness as well as our own, we become fully in alignment.
You can do it- let it go.
Heathy Habits suck. Agree? If so, these lessons may be helpful to you. In the book Healthy Habits Suck, Dr. Lee-Baggley gives us the following practices and ideas to help us maintain our healthy behaviors.
1. Healthy habits go against our human nature which is why it is hard for us to stick with them
The author, Dr. Lee-Baggley, gives the example of two people in the wild running from a bear- person #1 went for a run in the morning and person #2 slept in, who would be more likely to have the energy to outrun the bear? The person who slept in and saved their energy. Saving energy is a survival mechanism that healthy habits frequently contradict.
2. Find the value behind your goals
Why do you want to develop healthy habits? Dr. Lee-Baggley suggests you find a deeper meaning than just to become healthy or to lose weight. Try to attach values to your healthy goals such as: when I keep up with my healthy habits, I can show up for my family better or exercising everyday helps me do better at work.
3. Practice the 90% rule
When you decide your goals, ask yourself if you are 90% sure you will be able to achieve them. This rule plays on the fact that success breeds success and failure breeds failure. When we feel like we are going above the mark, it motivates us to do even better, and the opposite when we are under-performing.
4. The Arm Test
Try this: tell yourself you cannot lift up your arm while you lift up your arm. Can you do it? This practice serves as a reminder that the voice in your head isn’t always right. You don’t need to believe you can do something to keep doing it.
Dr. Lee-Baggley describes a study where two groups were asked to take on an impossible puzzle. The first group was given positive instruction “it’s okay if it takes a while, this is a difficult exam for everyone” whereas the second group was not. Although the puzzle was unsolvable, the first group worked at the puzzled for longer with a much more positive approach than group 2. Being compassionate with ourselves helps us to face more difficult problems and be less likely to give up.
What do you think of these ideas?
Thank you for reading,
In the age of consumerism, we are constantly being fed new trends and technologies that make us feel a need to stay current. Instead of working with what is already in our possession, we take it for granted while lusting after the new and shiny thing that is someone else’s. This mindset spills over into other aspects of our lives.
So here is your reminder to take care of what you already have:
Belongings: How many times have you bought something, worn it once, then tossed it to the side? I’m guilty. Clothes feel so much better when worn for the first time. If you feel like this, I urge you to go into your closet and re-organize it. Hang your clothes in a new way, wash your old shoes, untangle your jewelry, clean out your old backpacks and bags. Love them. Re-invent your outfits. It is possible to get excited about what you already own. Appreciate it all because that new accessory you want to buy will become old just like everything else in your closet.
Relationships: “I miss when everything was new, the honeymoon stage.” How many people in long-term relationships have you heard say this? A problem occurs in one of your relationships so you seek out something/ someone new. Take care of your existing relationships. Nourish them. Just like planting a flower, the first bud may be exciting, but if you keep watering and caring for it, it may become even more beautiful than you could’ve ever imagined.
Your Body: It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, but in the midst of trying to change your body and make it look more this or that, stop and think of how much your body does for you. Be grateful for your body right now. It is exactly what it needs to look like. It is worthy of care and love just the way it is.
Browsing on YouTube, I came across a video titled “the 12 habits that changed my life”. Expecting a list of habits that changed this person’s life, I was surprised when the narrator actually confessed that there weren’t 12 habits that actually changed his life but his perspective. He had dedicated his year to 12 different 30-day challenges from taking cold showers every day to waking up at 5a.m. Everyday.
What did he learn? Habits that are life-changing are different for everyone. Waking up at 5 a.m. actually didn’t make him more productive, journaling didn’t change him as much as exercising everyday. This does not hold true for everyone. Journaling may be life-changing for you, but like medication there is not a one size fits all solution.
Applying this to my own life, working out everyday is something I used to strive to do as I saw this habit transform the life of my friends and family, however, it has never been a sustainable habit. I know I can dedicate at least 3 days a week to the gym since fitness is important to me, but I have other priorities such as volunteering and creating things that I also value and need to make time for that allow for my soul to thrive.
So what habits are life-changing for you? Don’t be taunted by people who wake up at 5 a.m. and say this has been life-changing for them. This does not mean that it will be the same for you.
Test out new habits and see what works best for you. Maybe even try a few 30-day challenges and see what sticks and makes you feel like you are not only growing but enjoying yourself in the process.
Thanks for reading,
As 2019 is coming to an end, we begin to consider our resolutions for the New Year.
It’s safe to say we all would ideally love to live our “dream lives” yet life and comforting excuses have continued to get in our way.
Going into our next chapter, 2020, it’s so important to reflect on the year that just happened. What did you accomplish? How did you grow? What were some of the best times and worst times? Why? What habits did you continue or start? What are you proud of? What lessons did you learn?
Now diving into your goals for 2020, consider the following:
What’s one word you would like to be the theme for 2020? I was talking with a friend who told me her vision for the year was “french.” To her this means living in simplicity, dressing modestly and eating more mindfully.
How will your day to day life look like? If you are already dreading your approach to your goals, it’s likely that you will give up before you achieve them. Fall in love with the process. Get excited about new habits and routines. Make them fun.
Use a habit tracker. One of my best friends got me a habit tracking journal for the new year. They are amazing tools to help you notice patterns within yourself and get you motivated to stay on track. Achieving mini-goals along the way helps you achieve our bigger goals.
If your 2020 was a chapter in a book, how would it be written? What character will you play? What kinds of adventures will you go on? Who will you meet? How will you affect the other characters? How will you transform- internally as well as externally?
Thanks for reading. I hope your 2020 is all you are dreaming of and more.
Happy New Year 🥳