Why You Need to Stop This Mindset

If I lose 20 pounds then I’ll be happy

If I get a promotion then I’ll be successful

If I get this job then I’ll be good enough

If I get 10k followers then I will feel pretty

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!

Stop placing your worth, happiness, and success in the achievement of something in the future. When we do this, we basically tell ourselves that we cannot be happy until we get these things.

Think back to when you were a child. You’re in a grocery store trying to convince your parents to buy you a toy. You tell yourself that there is no possible way you will be happy unless they agree to buy you the thing. You have already decided that you will throw a fit if you don’t get what you want. This time you’re lucky- your parents agree to buy you it! Now you feel so happy… for a moment…. but it doesn’t last.

How many times have you placed your happiness on getting something that you look back on now and have to laugh? Turns out the American Girl Doll wasn’t the secret to our lasting happiness after all. Just like getting that new designer purse isn’t either.

How happy you are now is likely to determine how happy you will be in the future. It is fine to look forward to something. In fact, it’s totally healthy, but this is different than deciding you won’t be happy until something happens for you.

We aren’t the best at predicting what will happen in the future. Think about it. Who did you want to become when you were younger? What did you think you’d be doing right now 5 years ago? I can speak for myself and say that these are two very different things.

So decide today that you will be happy. Not when you get that new car or those new shoes. This only lasts so long until you are lusting over the next new thing.

Decide to be happy because you have goals and values that guide what you do. Be happy because you are in this moment right now and have made it this far. Be happy to be authentically you. And be happy that you are on a mission to change your life and the lives of others too.

What’s your Life Blueprint?

You can imagine my disbelief when my friend, who is embarking her motivational speaking career, told our friend group that she had never heard of Tony Robbins. Excuse me. What?!

When I was in high school, I discovered Pinterest. This was the beginning of my obsession with motivational quotes which translated into watching motivational videos on YouTube. I remember one of the first motivational speeches I watched on youtube; it was given by Tony Robbins. I remember watching this video and then watching all of his videos and thinking to myself that he truly had life figured out.

Fast-forward a few years and I’m listening to a podcast, called Earn Your Happy, where the hostess, Lori Harder, interviewed someone who was once one of Tony’s interns. Omg I thought. Tony Robbins!

So, the other day I was browsing YouTube jumping around between different TED Talks, and one of the suggested videos was one by Tony Robins that was titled change your life blueprint.

I swear I had seen this video before, but it still resonated with me so much. In Tony’s speech, he explains that the reason why we are unhappy with ourselves is because our vision of what our life should look like doesn’t match what it really is.

We have these ideas of what the perfect relationship is in our minds or the perfect job or our perfect body and we compare this mental vision to our reality. This disconnect makes us feel depressed, unsatisfied, and can cause great amounts of anxiety.

Is this true for you? I know in my life I create ideals of where I should be in my career, what kinds of relationships are in my life, how much money I should have, and what I should look like.

Tony’s resolution? Either change you mental blueprint of what your life should look like or change your life to meet the blueprint. Realize what blueprints in your life are unrealistic and create new ones or alter them so they can match your life.

One person Tony talked about in the speech was an athlete who wasn’t able to play anymore due to physical injuries. This athlete became depressed and hopeless. He said he would never be happy again unless he was able to play the sport again. In his blueprint, the only way he would make his family proud and support them was through playing this sport. It wasn’t until he realized that he could create a new path for himself that he was able to find happiness again. This wasn’t the one and only way he could find success in his life. It was time to create a new blueprint for himself.

Even when we try not to, we are constantly comparing ourselves whether it’s to that vision of what our life should be like or to others. In the end, this comparison rarely does anything for us unless we reflect when we catch ourselves doing it.

I want to end this post with a quote I saw this morning posted by Jhene Aiko:

So, what is your current “life blueprint” what adjustments will need to be made?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Last Day of 2018

This year feels like it did not happen.

2018. The year my life changed.

Those who know me know that I am constantly changing and finding new interests mostly because I’m a naturally curious person but this year was different. I found purpose.

I don’t usually like to write about myself, but here is what happened in 2018:

– I dove deeper into my major and made great relationships with my professors

– I made new friends who continue inspire me

– I created my blog extremely spontaneously and fell in love with it

– I became genuinely happy. Yes there were ups and downs but through bad relationships and experiences I found out how to truly take care of myself

– I became closer to my sister which has been one of the greatest blessings to me

So this is the time of the year where we look back at the year, reflect, then decide on resolutions, right? I keep thinking of the habits I have already implemented and think these “resolutions” are an addition to everything I’ve already added to my life.

So, 2019… I want it to look something like this:

Focus on growth and giving

– Volunteer once a month

– Eat one vegetable a day. Sounds kind of silly I know. Some weeks go by and I’m like when’s the last time I ate a vegetable? So even if it’s just one carrot or even a piece of an avocado this is my goal.

– Read daily. Hard copy. It can be one page but I do need to read more.

– Have a solid morning routine and learn to enjoy working out in the morning. Read, journal, and exercise. I keep hearing that the most productive days are when you get the hardest thing done first.

– Cook more. I am guilty of buying the same foods every time I grocery shop and not making real food. In 2019 I want to learn new recipes and cook one proper meal a week.

– Blog weekly!

-Love more

What’s your resolution?

What’s the Greatest Thing You Can Do for Others?

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What’s the greatest thing you can do for others?

Become genuinely happy.

Here’s the secret though: becoming genuinely happy takes work. Are you willing to do it?

What habits are preventing you from becoming genuinely happy?

Here are some common habits I am familiar with and have noticed affect others’ happiness as well:

1. Being a pushover

2. Making decisions that don’t align with your goals

3. Not being true to yourself

4. Doing things only for instant gratification

5. Being selfish

Why do these habits affect us negatively? They prevent us from having genuine connections with ourselves which in turn makes it hard for us to connect with others. 

Think of a time when you truly felt good about yourself. Not just in a superficial way, but in a way that went deeper. You were excited to wake up and felt like you were in great alignment. Your conversations were not only great internally, but this alignment allowed for you to have great interactions with others. Every action and moment felt like it served a greater purpose. You felt connected to source. 

So, if you aren’t new to my blog, you know that I love to ask questions. I think asking yourself questions often is so important in understanding ourselves and why we behave in certain ways.

Here are some questions I want you to consider in figuring out how you will become genuinely happy:

How will I spend my mornings?

For me, mornings are sacred. I need time to wake up. If I don’t get this time, it affects my day and mood. The days I’m happiest are when I wake up and meditate. Don’t check my phone. Take time to pick out my outfit and plan my day. 

What will I do everyday to work toward my goals?

No matter who you are, working toward a goal is crucial in finding meaning in your everyday life. My goal is to lead a healthy lifestyle. I walk every single day. Walks are a good way for me to reflect and get in fresh air while getting steps in. I enjoy them too! What thing can you implement that will work with your schedule? Pick something you will enjoy doing and stick with it. Make it essential in your daily routine.

 What is/ will be my creative outlet?

We all need one. Is it music? Writing? Painting? Whatever it is, make sure you have a bit of it at least once a week. Do something simply for the fun of it. 

What will I do to stop myself from going back to old habits that prevent my happiness?

Figure out your triggers and check-in with yourself often. Why are you doing what you’re doing? I used to go out when I was sad or disappointed- not because I wanted to celebrate or have fun. In an attempt to escape reality, this habit only made me sadder. Now before I go out, I ask myself: why am I going out? And if it’s because I’m sad, I will decide to stay in and pamper myself. This has quick reflecting time has changed my life. Realize your own destructive behaviors, why you do them, and what you can do to change them for a healthier way of coping. 

What do you think? What makes you genuinely happy?

Thanks for reading!

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

This Mindset Will Change Your Life

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What situations do you feel most comfortable in?

The ones that are familiar and rarely challenge you, right? Where you are content with being as is.

What situations scare you?

Most times, it’s in those unfamiliar situations. Places where people know more than you, there are conversations going on that you have never heard before, and the places where you start questioning your own ideas and habits.

In these moments, it’s easy to resort to thoughts like wow these people are just smarter and better than me and wish you were back in your safe spaces. Trust me, I have been there.

But, you know what? Those thoughts come from a place of fear. A fear of trying- yet not being good enough..

Sucks, right? I know.

What I can tell you with 100% certainty is this:

Who you are today is not a permanent state of being.

The situations where you are the most uncomfortable are truly helping you grow (growing pains). Yes it’s scary, but how can you get to where you want to be if you do the same things every day?

Remember this- What you know this year is far more than what you knew last year. Your knowledge and experience is up to you. The more new experiences that you immerse yourself in, the quicker you will grow and learn.

No one was just born with knowledge and experience. Those things are built over time and it’s up to you to decide at which speed.

So in order to grow, you must realize that you can.

Simple as that.

What you may not know today, you can learn tomorrow. And just because you don’t know something right now, doesn’t mean you won’t ever know it.

You are constantly growing and becoming a different version of yourself.

How are you going to look at your life from day to day? Find new growth opportunities daily.

I promise you’ll be uncomfortable, but it will be so worth it. I promise.

Thanks for reading & remember invest time into yourself.

You are worth it.

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Finding Your True Happiness

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I was talking to my aunt over the summer (feels like so long ago!) and one thing she said to me that has stuck was this:

“we don’t listen to ourselves enough”

I had never thought about this before. What do you mean by we don’t listen to ourselves enough? We are always with ourselves.

Only in the last month has this quote begun to make sense to me.

How often do you try to shut out certain feelings? Like you almost choose to believe these natural instincts don’t mean anything.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done this. I’ve stayed in situations too long because I chose to avoid that inner voice.

What if your gut feelings were actually trying to tell you something?

I choose to believe they are.

Listen to yourself!

What do you need in this moment? What was the first thing that came to your head? It must mean something.

For me, this has been spending time alone, taking the time to learn something new, and doing things that I am afraid of.

The more you listen to yourself, the more you will do things that align with your purpose. This alignment has brought me an abundance of happiness.

Don’t get me wrong- some days are harder than others, but on these days I realize that I just need to listen more.

Thank you for reading.

I wish you nothing but happiness and remember to just listen to yourself.

Stop Making Excuses Today – Here’s How

I want to travel but..

I want to go back to school but..

I want to become a ____ but..

Delete the “but” from these phrases and change them with “and here’s how”

To stop making excuses you must:

One: Make a decision. How many conflicting goals do you have? You can write a million goals, but at the end of the day it’s only realistic to work on a few a day. Decide on the top 3-5 that will make you the happiest and most fulfilled. Then, make a plan as to how you will work up to them into your daily routine.

Two: Prioritize. You say you want to travel, but you don’t have the money. What about the new purse you bought last week? Your actions everyday reflect your priorities. What’s more important to you traveling or spending money on purses? Now figure out what habits and routines you need to change.

Three: Really want it. You can say you want to save money, but do you actually or do you get more satisfaction by spending your entire paycheck whenever it comes? What do you really want instant gratification or discipline and sustained happiness?

Four: DO SOMETHING! Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity. Start now. You will never have the perfect conditions to begin something so just go do it. You have to do more than just plan to get you there.