Just let it go
As most of the advice we are given, easier said than done.
Books and spiritual healers tell us the key to happiness and inner peace is to let go, but what exactly does that mean?
Let go of what is no longer serving you- that thought, belief, idea. Let go of that story you tell yourself where you are the victim.
Let go of the need for control. The more we feel the need to control a situation or another person, the more unhappy we find ourselves. The mentality is addictive and unhealthy. We do not own others. What they do is up to them as what we do is up to us.
What you do have control over is your contribution to any given space or relationship. Notice your thoughts. Question them frequently. Is this true or is this a story that is taking from my well-being?
Approach everything with a kind heart and watch your life flourish. Do it all out of love. What isn’t falling into place isn’t for a reason.
When we have the best intentions, give others the freedom to be themselves and aim to contribute to their happiness as well as our own, we become fully in alignment.
You can do it- let it go.
As our lives become busy with the demands of work, relationships and other obligations, we begin to live in autopilot. Our lives become routine and before we know it, we don’t have enough time or money to do anything that we actually want to do.
A few weeks ago, I felt myself falling into this trap. I was in a habit of mindlessly scrolling through my phone, waking up later than usual, and throwing away all discipline when it came to my health. I blamed it all on “being stressed” and “not having enough time.”
Have you ever told yourself that same story? Here are some techniques I recommend you try:
1. Limit/ eliminate social media: 10 minutes of scrolling on instagram or 10 minutes preparing your lunch for the next day? An hour on facebook or an hour spending time with your loved ones? Think of the time you spend on social media and replace it with activities that feel meaningful to you. Turn your phone on airplane mode if you need to.
2. Create a schedule for your goals: Instead of just saying you will go to the gym 3 days this week, print out a calendar and write down the days you will be there. Adding your goals into your schedule makes it easier for you to stick to them than if you go each day deciding whether or not you want to work out.
3. Spend your morning doing things you enjoy: Do you feel rushed in the morning? Try waking up even just 10 minutes earlier to give yourself time to do something you thoroughly enjoy whether that be enjoying that cup of coffee or spending longer doing your hair. It will make a world of a difference.
4. Night routine: Do what tomorrow morning you will thank you for tonight. Plan the outfit, organize your work bag, clean your room. It will make waking up a lot easier and you will feel like you have your s*** together (even if you don’t ).
What techniques work for you to have a more focused life?
Thanks for reading,
In the age of consumerism, we are constantly being fed new trends and technologies that make us feel a need to stay current. Instead of working with what is already in our possession, we take it for granted while lusting after the new and shiny thing that is someone else’s. This mindset spills over into other aspects of our lives.
So here is your reminder to take care of what you already have:
Belongings: How many times have you bought something, worn it once, then tossed it to the side? I’m guilty. Clothes feel so much better when worn for the first time. If you feel like this, I urge you to go into your closet and re-organize it. Hang your clothes in a new way, wash your old shoes, untangle your jewelry, clean out your old backpacks and bags. Love them. Re-invent your outfits. It is possible to get excited about what you already own. Appreciate it all because that new accessory you want to buy will become old just like everything else in your closet.
Relationships: “I miss when everything was new, the honeymoon stage.” How many people in long-term relationships have you heard say this? A problem occurs in one of your relationships so you seek out something/ someone new. Take care of your existing relationships. Nourish them. Just like planting a flower, the first bud may be exciting, but if you keep watering and caring for it, it may become even more beautiful than you could’ve ever imagined.
Your Body: It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, but in the midst of trying to change your body and make it look more this or that, stop and think of how much your body does for you. Be grateful for your body right now. It is exactly what it needs to look like. It is worthy of care and love just the way it is.
Browsing on YouTube, I came across a video titled “the 12 habits that changed my life”. Expecting a list of habits that changed this person’s life, I was surprised when the narrator actually confessed that there weren’t 12 habits that actually changed his life but his perspective. He had dedicated his year to 12 different 30-day challenges from taking cold showers every day to waking up at 5a.m. Everyday.
What did he learn? Habits that are life-changing are different for everyone. Waking up at 5 a.m. actually didn’t make him more productive, journaling didn’t change him as much as exercising everyday. This does not hold true for everyone. Journaling may be life-changing for you, but like medication there is not a one size fits all solution.
Applying this to my own life, working out everyday is something I used to strive to do as I saw this habit transform the life of my friends and family, however, it has never been a sustainable habit. I know I can dedicate at least 3 days a week to the gym since fitness is important to me, but I have other priorities such as volunteering and creating things that I also value and need to make time for that allow for my soul to thrive.
So what habits are life-changing for you? Don’t be taunted by people who wake up at 5 a.m. and say this has been life-changing for them. This does not mean that it will be the same for you.
Test out new habits and see what works best for you. Maybe even try a few 30-day challenges and see what sticks and makes you feel like you are not only growing but enjoying yourself in the process.
Thanks for reading,
“Are you really hungies or do you just feel empty inside?” My friend read out loud from a tweet on our way to brunch. We all laughed.
The tweet which was comical, yet very relatable, and it re-visited my mind today.
I think back to social occasions where I’ve felt disconnected or uncomfortable and have turned to food hoping it would somehow fill the void.
Food is such an emotional thing- a temporary fix from a stressful day, an escape from loneliness or disappointment.
I find that when I’m going about my day with intentional alignment with my goals and purpose that I am less likely to emotional eat. I’m more inclined to eat more nourishing foods.
Like many bad habits, it’s so important to realize what triggers or excuses you use that cause them to continue.
Just something to think about.. Food for thought💭
If I get the job, I win and if I don’t, I’m still winning.
What if your inner talk sounded like this?
How much happier would you be when things didn’t go your way?
The other day I had plans with a friend. We had the plans set in stone for weeks, and last minute, they canceled. I was bummed. It felt like a loss. I sat in bed thinking that my day was ruined. I sat in my misery and felt frustration fill my body. Then I paused and thought: how can I see this from a different perspective? I realized it had been weeks since I had alone time. I was going to make this a “me” day. I did all the things I had put off while being so busy entertaining friends and working. It was a win-win.
Wins can be lessons learned, a chance to do something new, a chance to appreciate an aspect of your life you take for granted.
Today decide that no matter what happens, you are winning.
Have you ever thought about a conversation you had with someone and wished you could take back what you had said? Why did I say that? What’s wrong with me?!
Well, we’ve all been there and let’s face it- that regret can eat us alive. We want to be the best versions of ourselves and with that comes having healthy relationships with others.
Think back to a time when you had a great interaction with someone that left you feeling so good about yourself. Likely it was because you were present in the moment and feeling like you were genuinely connected to the other person.
So how can we have more of these energizing interactions? For me, these following tools have been helpful:
Always see yourself as a contributor: Just because you are not the focus of attention in an environment, that does not mean your energy doesn’t play a part in the collective space. What kind of messages are you giving others, verbally or non-verbally? How is it making others feel?
Question yourself before and after you enter a new space: How do I want to affect others? How will I achieve this? If you want to make others feel listened to, how will you make sure you are doing that? If you want to help others feel confident, what kinds of things are coming out of your mouth?
Pause before speaking: What is the purpose of me saying what I am about to say? Is it based from my own fears or a place of genuine love? How will this potentially be received by the person I am talking to and is it worth that outcome?
The more intentional we are with what we say and do, the less likely we are to regret saying things in the spur of the moment and the more our relationships thrive.
Do you have any techniques in place that help you be more intentional when you interact with others?