Stop Passion Searching

Haven’t found your true passion yet? Guess what? it’s okay.

Yesterday morning I got back into my old morning routine: I didn’t press snooze, prepared food for the day, and went for a long walk while listening to an inspirational podcast.

The podcast episode: The Curiosity-Driven Life (on SuperSoul Conversations obviously)

The episode featured the author of Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert. Right away she tells us to stop searching for our passions. What? I thought she was crazy, but when we hear something controversial it makes us want to learn more, right?

She explained how she used to preach “follow your passion” until one day she received a Facebook message from a woman saying she didn’t have one, and that her speeches actually made her feel worse. It had never occurred to her that not everyone knew what their passion was their whole life as she had.

This challenged her view on life and people and now she has a new belief and speech;

There are hammers and there are hummingbirds.

Gilbert describes herself as being a hammer. Since kindergarten she’s known that she loves to write and has been writing ever since. Do you know people like this in your life? They have one true passion and have stuck with it since you’ve known them. I’ve always been envious of these types of people.

The other type of person she describes as being hummingbirds. I absolutely fall into this category. She said this type of person is always trying new things and exploring. She brings up her friend who has had several career paths in her life. If this is you, her advice is instead of searching for your “one true passion” just follow your curiosities. This takes the pressure off of having to stick to one thing. When we do this, we can enjoy and learn at our own free will. It’s not as serious as we have previously made it to be.

The beauty of a hummingbird

Hummingbirds cross-pollinate. As someone who has experienced and tried many things, you have the ability to take what you’ve learned in one place and apply elsewhere. Experience is wisdom.

In the podcast, Gilbert says that she is the person many people come to for counseling and advice. But she says that when she is in a rut, she calls her hummingbird friend. Her friend has lived through so much that she does not judge anyone for where they are in their life. And because she has experienced so much, she has wisdom to draw from many places to give great advice.

I really love that.

Are you a hammer or a hummingbird?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Becoming More Present

To be happy is to be present.

To be fully in the moment.

Today we are drowned with distractions.

Text and social media notifications.

We miss that one part of the sentence.

Unaware that the person sitting next to us is desperately needing our presence in the moment.

Become present.

Life is way too short.

Yesterday has already happened.

Tomorrow is not here yet.

Today will never happen again.

Enjoy it, embrace it, live it.


Preparing for Transition

So, what’s next?

A question that can evoke so much emotion: both negative and positive. There are times when the idea of “what’s next” is thrilling. Limitless possibilities. While other times we ask the question and feel intense unease. What if I make the wrong decisions? What if it doesn’t work out? What if, What if, What if…

The uncertainty of what’s next can cause us to over analyze and hyper plan to re-gain some certainty in our lives. Change can be terrifying and confusing.

Having felt the aches of not being able to decide what’s next, I have searched for many ways to cope with the feeling. Here’s what I have decided to do: reflect, learn and give back.

Reflection: What do you value and what gives you energy and fulfillment? No matter where you are in life, you need to make sure that you are staying true to these two things. In my case, I love attending events. Creating. Encouraging others. I value honesty, loyalty, and kindness. I know that no matter where I go, I will carry these values with me. I will continue to search for meaningful experiences and events in my community.

Learning and Giving Back: We crave to grow. That’s the human experience. Just sit back and think of how much you have left to learn in this world. There is so much that has been unexplored. So many ideas that you haven’t even been introduced to yet. I walk through the public library in my city and think of all the books I have yet to touch. Learn from people. Listen to their stories. What has their experience been like? How can you help them? What can you do to improve the environment around you? Your community?

Focus on what you can do today to be true to yourself and to enjoy the present moment whether that be by reading a self-help book with a classmate, finding a new self-care routine, or by going for a long walk. Tomorrow isn’t here yet. You only have today and right now. Don’t be so busy planning for the next chapter that you forget to enjoy and appreciate what you have in this moment.

Thanks for reading,

XO coco

Where Do You Belong?

What’s your identity?

Is it defined by the books you read or the clothes you wear? Or maybe the people you surround yourself with?

As much as we hate to admit it, we often struggle with who we are.

I must be a fit person because I work out everyday.. but what if you don’t work out for a month? Would your identity change?

My identity must be defined by my family. What if your family comes from all over? You identify with everyone but at the same time with no one fully.

What if we could choose our identities? If we decided where we belonged and what we spent our time on. If our habits became our identity. If we could shape and change them daily.

How are your perspectives and attitudes shaping your identity?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

If You’re Bad at Remembering History, Read This.

You can teach me about the same war twenty times and a day later I will have already forgotten about it.

Does this sound like you?

Yesterday I was at the airport waiting to board when a woman across from me asked: “so where are you traveling to?” Quite honestly I wasn’t in the mood to chat. I had an early flight that morning and this was my connecting one. Regardless, I told her and we began to chat about our travels. She was around her mid 40s – early 50s. Her shortish golden hair reminded me of my grandmother’s.

After around ten minutes, the plane began to board. Turns out, I was sitting behind her. We talked about how she met her husband on a beach in Spain years ago. She described how they are still madly in love even after having three kids. Although that is nowhere near where my life is at right now, I felt as though we were very similar.

When we got off of the plane, we were going through airport security and she began to tell me about some Dutch history. Before she went any further, I had to tell her: “I’m going to be honest I love history. I think it’s fascinating.. but I never remember it. I’ve seen several castles and battle grounds in Ireland and I couldn’t tell you one fact about them.” She laughed at me. I felt a bit embarrassed. Then she said this:

“I’m bad at remembering history too!”

“Really, so how do you know all of these facts?”

“I read children’s books”

“Do they actually help?”

” Yes, because it’s more important to understand the big picture before trying to remember the small details. I read a children’s book called the history of France before I went there. My friend and I brought the book with us and matched the illustrated pictures to the things we saw while we were there.”

“Where have you been my whole life! Haha”

“Also there’s a lot of movies that can help with that too.”

Our conversation went further, but I had never thought of doing this. Children’s books have to explain things in simple terms. Only once you get something in simple terms can you dive deeper and learn more.

This advice has really and truly changed my life. Time to go buy some children’s books.

Have you tried this before?

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Why You Need to Stop This Mindset

If I lose 20 pounds then I’ll be happy

If I get a promotion then I’ll be successful

If I get this job then I’ll be good enough

If I get 10k followers then I will feel pretty

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!

Stop placing your worth, happiness, and success in the achievement of something in the future. When we do this, we basically tell ourselves that we cannot be happy until we get these things.

Think back to when you were a child. You’re in a grocery store trying to convince your parents to buy you a toy. You tell yourself that there is no possible way you will be happy unless they agree to buy you the thing. You have already decided that you will throw a fit if you don’t get what you want. This time you’re lucky- your parents agree to buy you it! Now you feel so happy… for a moment…. but it doesn’t last.

How many times have you placed your happiness on getting something that you look back on now and have to laugh? Turns out the American Girl Doll wasn’t the secret to our lasting happiness after all. Just like getting that new designer purse isn’t either.

How happy you are now is likely to determine how happy you will be in the future. It is fine to look forward to something. In fact, it’s totally healthy, but this is different than deciding you won’t be happy until something happens for you.

We aren’t the best at predicting what will happen in the future. Think about it. Who did you want to become when you were younger? What did you think you’d be doing right now 5 years ago? I can speak for myself and say that these are two very different things.

So decide today that you will be happy. Not when you get that new car or those new shoes. This only lasts so long until you are lusting over the next new thing.

Decide to be happy because you have goals and values that guide what you do. Be happy because you are in this moment right now and have made it this far. Be happy to be authentically you. And be happy that you are on a mission to change your life and the lives of others too.

What’s your Life Blueprint?

You can imagine my disbelief when my friend, who is embarking her motivational speaking career, told our friend group that she had never heard of Tony Robbins. Excuse me. What?!

When I was in high school, I discovered Pinterest. This was the beginning of my obsession with motivational quotes which translated into watching motivational videos on YouTube. I remember one of the first motivational speeches I watched on youtube; it was given by Tony Robbins. I remember watching this video and then watching all of his videos and thinking to myself that he truly had life figured out.

Fast-forward a few years and I’m listening to a podcast, called Earn Your Happy, where the hostess, Lori Harder, interviewed someone who was once one of Tony’s interns. Omg I thought. Tony Robbins!

So, the other day I was browsing YouTube jumping around between different TED Talks, and one of the suggested videos was one by Tony Robins that was titled change your life blueprint.

I swear I had seen this video before, but it still resonated with me so much. In Tony’s speech, he explains that the reason why we are unhappy with ourselves is because our vision of what our life should look like doesn’t match what it really is.

We have these ideas of what the perfect relationship is in our minds or the perfect job or our perfect body and we compare this mental vision to our reality. This disconnect makes us feel depressed, unsatisfied, and can cause great amounts of anxiety.

Is this true for you? I know in my life I create ideals of where I should be in my career, what kinds of relationships are in my life, how much money I should have, and what I should look like.

Tony’s resolution? Either change you mental blueprint of what your life should look like or change your life to meet the blueprint. Realize what blueprints in your life are unrealistic and create new ones or alter them so they can match your life.

One person Tony talked about in the speech was an athlete who wasn’t able to play anymore due to physical injuries. This athlete became depressed and hopeless. He said he would never be happy again unless he was able to play the sport again. In his blueprint, the only way he would make his family proud and support them was through playing this sport. It wasn’t until he realized that he could create a new path for himself that he was able to find happiness again. This wasn’t the one and only way he could find success in his life. It was time to create a new blueprint for himself.

Even when we try not to, we are constantly comparing ourselves whether it’s to that vision of what our life should be like or to others. In the end, this comparison rarely does anything for us unless we reflect when we catch ourselves doing it.

I want to end this post with a quote I saw this morning posted by Jhene Aiko:

So, what is your current “life blueprint” what adjustments will need to be made?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO