This Advice Has Changed My Life

About a week ago, I had a conversation with my mother. I told her that I had been feeling unfulfilled for days.

I believe we share our feelings with people for two reasons: either we just need someone to listen or we hope they will give us a perspective that might change us.

A week ago my mother said this:

“In life, we need to see things as rituals. From the moment we wake up and make our beds to the moment we shut our eyes at night. Make doing the dishes and folding your laundry a ritual even getting dressed in the morning. Make these things sacred to you.”

You know when someone says something to you and you feel sparks? This was one of those moments.

So often we get caught up in worrying about our future or beating ourselves up about the past that we forget to be in the present moment.

We resort to thinking happiness can only be found in large achievements or in the compliments we receive when really we can find it in combing our hair or taking the time to make our beds.

I believe this is why people get addicted to working out. Exercise is a great tool to help us focus. Thats why people call it “being in the zone.” That “zone” is the place where you are truly in the present.

Since you might be wondering, here’s how my life has changed since I received this piece of advice:

I’ve been much more aware and intentional. I find happiness in folding my favorite shirt or in packing my lunch for the day with foods that will nourish my body.

I’ve been less frustrated, anxious, and angry. I will be the first to admit I have terrible road range and can’t stand when people ask me to repeat myself because they didn’t hear what I said. Since I am only here right now, why would I perceive this moment as in my way or annoying when I can see it for what it is and just breathe? There is no real hurry and even if there was, our anxious mental state would not make it any better. Approach situations with a grateful heart.

I’ve added a new ritual. I exercise in the morning. It is now built in my schedule for an hour. It starts my day out with intention and brings me into a focused mindset. I pack my gym clothes the night before and plan my outfit. I lay them side by side so that when I wake up, I am ready to go and I am thankful.

I’m continuing to learn more. Oprah’s Super Soul Podcast has a series right now with Eckart Tolle who preaches about this idea of being in the moment. I highly recommend you take a listen.

Thank you for reading. Please let me know your thoughts.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Where Do You Belong?

What’s your identity?

Is it defined by the books you read or the clothes you wear? Or maybe the people you surround yourself with?

As much as we hate to admit it, we often struggle with who we are.

I must be a fit person because I work out everyday.. but what if you don’t work out for a month? Would your identity change?

My identity must be defined by my family. What if your family comes from all over? You identify with everyone but at the same time with no one fully.

What if we could choose our identities? If we decided where we belonged and what we spent our time on. If our habits became our identity. If we could shape and change them daily.

How are your perspectives and attitudes shaping your identity?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Interview with a Gamer

I know virtually nothing about video-gaming. The other day I tried on a VR headset for the first time and was instantly in awe. I became eager to learn more about what gaming means to people who play often. So, what’s better than interviewing someone I know who is an avid gamer? With out further ado- interview with a gamer.

How long have you been playing video games, when did you start, and why?

I was like 3 when I first started playing video games. I remember playing in my basement at my house in rhode island. I would play Wii bowling and tennis. Then when I moved to Minnesota, I had an experience where I rented a game from blockbuster called call of duty 2 for the wii. It was a three day rental and I accidentally forgot to tell my parents that it was over due. So I had the game for 5 days, but when we came to return it the place was closed. Basically, I got to keep the game so thats really what started gaming for me. Yup thats where it all started it was a big mistake.

After playing call of duty 2, what kept you playing video games? why do you like it?

I kept playing video games after because mostly I found it very interesting with story lines and characters and I like beating games, saving people; its like a movie where you are in control. After a while of having the wii, I got a second-hand xbox 360.. that really started my gaming addiction! It was a kinnect also.

How long would you say it took you to get good and used to the new controllers?

For a while, it was just confusing to me. I would say I caught on quickly though. After 3 or 4 months. I began to understand the controls. Playing with friends made it easier too. By the end of 1 or 2 years, I would say I could play with the controller behind my head.

So now you have been playing with VR, how would you say that experience has been for you?

It’s been very interesting. There’s been hard points like fixing things. We’ve had lots of technical issues with the model I use- the htc vive original. A big part of liking technology is having to fix technology. So we’ve had to fix the controllers and headsets. Both of their warranties are over. If the parts are seriously broken we’re going to have to pay to fix them. Other than that though I think I’ve made good friends through VR which makes it worth it.

What advice would you give to new gamers?

The only advice is if you want to get better.. you gotta put a lot of hours into that game, man. Just keep practicing. If you want to get good, you got to put the time into it. Trying to go semi-pro isn’t easy but it would be a fun way to make money.

On that note, what are your short and long-term goals for video gaming, if you have any?

My short-term goal is to hopefully get better at a game called PubG and to get better with my team for tournaments and stuff. My long-term goal is to get into professional tournaments and stream full-time.

Who are your favorite gamers? What makes a good gamer?

Good question.. my favorite gamer would be people who stream on Twitch a lot of them were professional at one point. My two favorite would be Shroud and Choco Taco- very strange names I know. I like them cause they’re fun and they’re always in a good mood. Not to mention that they’re good! What makes a good gamer is having the ability not to get angry. Not even when you lose. Just be chill.

What’s the most challenging part of gaming?

The most challenging part, if you do online gaming, is overcoming better players, adapting to new environments, and getting a sense for things. Communication is super important with others and yourself. You need to notice things around you. Having a sharp mind is super important in remembering where things are.

What do you think the future of gaming is? Any trends you see?

I see AR becoming a huge thing because I’ve tried it in progress and its ridiculous. You can reach out and truly experience things. Just ridiculous! I feel like first person shooters won’t be a thing anymore there’s a big trend of survival games like “Rust” I would say theres millions of people playing. The servers get up to the thousands.

Are there any computer games you enjoy or see popularity in outside of controller games?

Yes, definitely competitive style games. I don’t think you see as many on xbox or controller games. Like counter strike “CSGO”, PubG, FortNite are very popular. There’s some also some top-down games like World of War Craft. Call of Duty and Halo are on both Xbox and computer but are also pretty popular. There’s money to be made in competitive gaming.. a lot.. and fame!

I hope you enjoyed this interview- I know I learned a lot 🙂

Oh and follow this gamer’s twitch account: RebootFailed

This Mindset Will Change Your Life

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What situations do you feel most comfortable in?

The ones that are familiar and rarely challenge you, right? Where you are content with being as is.

What situations scare you?

Most times, it’s in those unfamiliar situations. Places where people know more than you, there are conversations going on that you have never heard before, and the places where you start questioning your own ideas and habits.

In these moments, it’s easy to resort to thoughts like wow these people are just smarter and better than me and wish you were back in your safe spaces. Trust me, I have been there.

But, you know what? Those thoughts come from a place of fear. A fear of trying- yet not being good enough..

Sucks, right? I know.

What I can tell you with 100% certainty is this:

Who you are today is not a permanent state of being.

The situations where you are the most uncomfortable are truly helping you grow (growing pains). Yes it’s scary, but how can you get to where you want to be if you do the same things every day?

Remember this- What you know this year is far more than what you knew last year. Your knowledge and experience is up to you. The more new experiences that you immerse yourself in, the quicker you will grow and learn.

No one was just born with knowledge and experience. Those things are built over time and it’s up to you to decide at which speed.

So in order to grow, you must realize that you can.

Simple as that.

What you may not know today, you can learn tomorrow. And just because you don’t know something right now, doesn’t mean you won’t ever know it.

You are constantly growing and becoming a different version of yourself.

How are you going to look at your life from day to day? Find new growth opportunities daily.

I promise you’ll be uncomfortable, but it will be so worth it. I promise.

Thanks for reading & remember invest time into yourself.

You are worth it.

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What Do You Choose To Believe?

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How do you connect and see the experiences in your life?

What is your role in your life story?

How did you get to where you are today?

Your answers to these questions are what you have chosen to believe.

How crazy is it that you can go through the same experience as someone else, yet neither of you will ever describe it in the same way?

Your life is your perception of it.

What is your story and how are you going to tell it?

How you view your past is telling of how your future will be. Do you feel that your past life experiences have been unfair? You will likely continue to feel this way about future experiences as well. You need to change your beliefs to change what you experience.

Did you know that there are millions of contradicting beliefs out there?

Which ones will you choose to believe?

The ideas that empower you or the ones that fit your pitty story?

Do you want to live guided by your hopes or fears?

 

Choose your beliefs wisely and have a happy day 🙂

Thanks for reading!

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Changing Your Relationship with Food

What’s the perfect diet?

What can and can’t you eat?

How many calories are in that?

Our relationship with food has become exhausting. We constantly beat ourselves up for not being perfect and punish ourselves as a result.

I’m not an expert on the perfect diet, by any means, but I have found a few people who have inspired me to think about food in a new way:

The first is Michael Pollan.

I discovered him on the Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations podcast.

The episode is “Conscious Eating” 

Michael Pollan’s philosophy is that, “three times a day we get to express our values through food.” He believes that we have let convenient foods take over our diets and that this is making us unhealthy. He talks about the power of cooking your own food and knowing exactly what you put into your body.

Read: Michael Cohen’s 7 Rules for Eating.

If you don’t have the podcast app, here’s the audio from it

The second is Mel Wells.

I discovered her on the Earn Your Happy podcast.

The episode is “231: How Healing Your Relationship with FOOD Can Help You LIVE A FULFILLED LIFE” 

Mel’s philosophy is that releasing our need for control around food is the key to having a better life. She emphasizes the importance of listening to your body, letting go of strict rules, and understanding that sometimes our cravings are not actually for the food itself but for some kind of change in our lives.

I summarized her ideas quite a bit, but the podcast I shared with you will do a good job of filling in the gaps and make more sense of the philosophy.

Here website is linked here.

Highly recommend her video as well-

 

Let me know what you think. Thanks 🙂