This Advice Has Changed My Life

About a week ago, I had a conversation with my mother. I told her that I had been feeling unfulfilled for days.

I believe we share our feelings with people for two reasons: either we just need someone to listen or we hope they will give us a perspective that might change us.

A week ago my mother said this:

“In life, we need to see things as rituals. From the moment we wake up and make our beds to the moment we shut our eyes at night. Make doing the dishes and folding your laundry a ritual even getting dressed in the morning. Make these things sacred to you.”

You know when someone says something to you and you feel sparks? This was one of those moments.

So often we get caught up in worrying about our future or beating ourselves up about the past that we forget to be in the present moment.

We resort to thinking happiness can only be found in large achievements or in the compliments we receive when really we can find it in combing our hair or taking the time to make our beds.

I believe this is why people get addicted to working out. Exercise is a great tool to help us focus. Thats why people call it “being in the zone.” That “zone” is the place where you are truly in the present.

Since you might be wondering, here’s how my life has changed since I received this piece of advice:

I’ve been much more aware and intentional. I find happiness in folding my favorite shirt or in packing my lunch for the day with foods that will nourish my body.

I’ve been less frustrated, anxious, and angry. I will be the first to admit I have terrible road range and can’t stand when people ask me to repeat myself because they didn’t hear what I said. Since I am only here right now, why would I perceive this moment as in my way or annoying when I can see it for what it is and just breathe? There is no real hurry and even if there was, our anxious mental state would not make it any better. Approach situations with a grateful heart.

I’ve added a new ritual. I exercise in the morning. It is now built in my schedule for an hour. It starts my day out with intention and brings me into a focused mindset. I pack my gym clothes the night before and plan my outfit. I lay them side by side so that when I wake up, I am ready to go and I am thankful.

I’m continuing to learn more. Oprah’s Super Soul Podcast has a series right now with Eckart Tolle who preaches about this idea of being in the moment. I highly recommend you take a listen.

Thank you for reading. Please let me know your thoughts.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Why You Need to Do More Story-Telling

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Okay funny story- are you ready?

I used to work at an elementary school- and boy if you don’t know what roasting is you will learn a thing or two while working there- okay that’s besides the point.

So, do you remember being in elementary school and always trying to act cooler or more mature than you were? Yes you do- don’t lie.

Anyways, in the classroom we had a book shelf filled with books that I never once saw a kid touch. Very sad, I know. One day, I decided to pull out a few of my childhood favorites and read them out loud. I just sat at a table by myself and began. No fair -warning- nothing.

At first, the kids were all snickering. “Why is ms. Coco just reading out loud randomly?” They started making jokes about the books, but then something funny happened.

Within five minutes of me reading, half of the classroom was sitting by me. They began to truly listen. No jokes- just engaged fourth and fifth graders. While the other half wasn’t gathered around, they were still listening as well and would occasionally run over to look at some pages as I told the stories.

Funny right? I think so at least. It’s because we all love a good story.

What teachers did you like the best? The ones that made connections through story-telling or the ones who just read off the bullet points and left you wondering “what’s the point”? I think it’s a pretty easy question to answer, right?

Story-telling draws people in! That’s why we love movies, hearing other people’s experiences, etc. It connects us to one another.

They also help us remember things better. I am much more likely to remember new information if it’s told in story form versus just having to memorize words and definitions.

Tell more stories! It makes people want to listen more and it makes it easier to connect with others.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk LOL.

And as always, thanks for reading!

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What Do You Choose To Believe?

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How do you connect and see the experiences in your life?

What is your role in your life story?

How did you get to where you are today?

Your answers to these questions are what you have chosen to believe.

How crazy is it that you can go through the same experience as someone else, yet neither of you will ever describe it in the same way?

Your life is your perception of it.

What is your story and how are you going to tell it?

How you view your past is telling of how your future will be. Do you feel that your past life experiences have been unfair? You will likely continue to feel this way about future experiences as well. You need to change your beliefs to change what you experience.

Did you know that there are millions of contradicting beliefs out there?

Which ones will you choose to believe?

The ideas that empower you or the ones that fit your pitty story?

Do you want to live guided by your hopes or fears?

 

Choose your beliefs wisely and have a happy day 🙂

Thanks for reading!

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The Feeling We All Fear: Loneliness

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We’ve all felt it & I think the strangest part of loneliness is that no matter where you are in the world, you can experience it.

I’ve been in rooms full of people and felt more alone than I had felt when I was by myself. Ironic isn’t it?

Or another good example is posting something on social media that gets a lot of attention. In the moment you feel excited and happy, but later on you somehow feel even lonelier and isolated. Why?

I wanted to share my recent experience with loneliness and I hope it gives you a feeling of peace if you are experiencing it right now.

So the other day, this feeling of loneliness took over me- a feeling that, luckily, I hadn’t felt in a while. I began to overthink every aspect of my life. I started to question my decisions and blaming myself for situations that were out of my control.

Why did this relationship end? Why did I treat so and so that way? Why did I do this instead of that? This is why I am lonely. “

To drown out the thoughts, I put on a feel good movie and finally was able to go to bed.

The next day, I kept replaying the thoughts that I had been feeding myself the night before. 

Later on in that day, I was chatting with a friend. With this experience consuming my mind during conversation, I finally built up the courage to ask-

“do you ever feel lonely?” 

“Yes. A lot.”

Obviously, the conversation went on further, but strangely after she said this, I felt relieved.

I am not happy my friend feels this pain- not one bit, but there is some comfort in knowing loneliness is part of the human experience and it is normal. It makes me realize- I am not alone in this.

And if you are reading this right now this is a reminder to you,

you are not alone either.

You will get through it.