Where Do You Belong?

What’s your identity?

Is it defined by the books you read or the clothes you wear? Or maybe the people you surround yourself with?

As much as we hate to admit it, we often struggle with who we are.

I must be a fit person because I work out everyday.. but what if you don’t work out for a month? Would your identity change?

My identity must be defined by my family. What if your family comes from all over? You identify with everyone but at the same time with no one fully.

What if we could choose our identities? If we decided where we belonged and what we spent our time on. If our habits became our identity. If we could shape and change them daily.

How are your perspectives and attitudes shaping your identity?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

The Feeling We All Fear: Loneliness

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We’ve all felt it & I think the strangest part of loneliness is that no matter where you are in the world, you can experience it.

I’ve been in rooms full of people and felt more alone than I had felt when I was by myself. Ironic isn’t it?

Or another good example is posting something on social media that gets a lot of attention. In the moment you feel excited and happy, but later on you somehow feel even lonelier and isolated. Why?

I wanted to share my recent experience with loneliness and I hope it gives you a feeling of peace if you are experiencing it right now.

So the other day, this feeling of loneliness took over me- a feeling that, luckily, I hadn’t felt in a while. I began to overthink every aspect of my life. I started to question my decisions and blaming myself for situations that were out of my control.

Why did this relationship end? Why did I treat so and so that way? Why did I do this instead of that? This is why I am lonely. “

To drown out the thoughts, I put on a feel good movie and finally was able to go to bed.

The next day, I kept replaying the thoughts that I had been feeding myself the night before. 

Later on in that day, I was chatting with a friend. With this experience consuming my mind during conversation, I finally built up the courage to ask-

“do you ever feel lonely?” 

“Yes. A lot.”

Obviously, the conversation went on further, but strangely after she said this, I felt relieved.

I am not happy my friend feels this pain- not one bit, but there is some comfort in knowing loneliness is part of the human experience and it is normal. It makes me realize- I am not alone in this.

And if you are reading this right now this is a reminder to you,

you are not alone either.

You will get through it.

 

 

Curious About Guided-Meditation? Here Was My Experience.

I walked from the chilling outdoors into a warm, welcoming house. Candles were lit, tea was made, fuzzy blankets were laid out for anybody who wanted one. I was greeted with kindness and a smile when I stepped inside. 

There were three people in the class other than the instructor and me.

We all picked a chair for our relaxation practice. I picked a red chair- one of those that you can rest your head on the sides of. I grabbed a soft purple blanket and reclined my chair. 

The meditation began. It was delivered in three different sections: guided relaxation, imagery, and love and kindness.

Guided Relaxation

In this section, the class was instructed to tighten parts of our body and release them. We started from our toes ending at the top of our heads.

“you may feel like you are melting into your chair” “release all the tension, let go”, our instructor told us gently.

Although worries about my day and future came in and out of my mind, I felt very relaxed. Deep breathing, heavy body. I don’t know if I could’ve gotten out of my chair at that point.

Guided Imagery

In this part, the instructor read a story to us and guided us through it.

In this process, a lot of the story’s details were up to us. It was a guided imagery that had us envision our inner self.

“What colors do you see?”

“What is being said?”

“ What do the people look like?”

This was the hardest one for me. I kept switching what I was seeing because I kept overthinking what I was supposed to be seeing instead of just letting the images flow. I think this part takes a lot of practice. 

Love and Kindness

The was the last part..now this part made me very emotional.

The instructor guided us to imagine two people on either side of us: it could be a family member who you know loves you unconditionally, a trusted friend, or a spiritual being who you know protects you. 

You imagine them sending you love and then you send them love back. This overwhelmed me with emotion. I’m not sure why.

Afterwards, she guided us to picture all of our loved ones (past and present) surrounding us and doing the same thing- getting their love and sending love to them.

We also had to do this with two other groups of people in our lives- people we felt neutral about and someone we didn’t particularly like.

At the end, she had us picturing the world and giving it a hug and wishing everyone love and happiness. I can’t describe how I felt in this moment- almost as though a weight had been lifted but again it was indescribable.

What do I think about guided meditation?

I think everyone should definitely give it a try. It feels really good and even if you try once it can give you tools to practice meditation on your own.

My favorite by far was the love and kindness at the end. This is one I want to put into my daily practice. I think depending on what you want to work on in your meditation one type might resonate with you more than others.

If you have any questions about the process definitely ask and if you have done one yourself I would love to hear what your experience was like!