Designing your Dream Life in 2020

advice, Uncategorized

As 2019 is coming to an end, we begin to consider our resolutions for the New Year.

It’s safe to say we all would ideally love to live our “dream lives” yet life and comforting excuses have continued to get in our way.

Going into our next chapter, 2020, it’s so important to reflect on the year that just happened. What did you accomplish? How did you grow? What were some of the best times and worst times? Why? What habits did you continue or start? What are you proud of? What lessons did you learn?

Now diving into your goals for 2020, consider the following:

What’s one word you would like to be the theme for 2020? I was talking with a friend who told me her vision for the year was “french.” To her this means living in simplicity, dressing modestly and eating more mindfully.

How will your day to day life look like? If you are already dreading your approach to your goals, it’s likely that you will give up before you achieve them. Fall in love with the process. Get excited about new habits and routines. Make them fun.

Use a habit tracker. One of my best friends got me a habit tracking journal for the new year. They are amazing tools to help you notice patterns within yourself and get you motivated to stay on track. Achieving mini-goals along the way helps you achieve our bigger goals.

If your 2020 was a chapter in a book, how would it be written? What character will you play? What kinds of adventures will you go on? Who will you meet? How will you affect the other characters? How will you transform- internally as well as externally?

Thanks for reading. I hope your 2020 is all you are dreaming of and more.

Happy New Year 🥳

An Admirable Trait

Advice + Inspiration, mindfulness, Mindfulness, relationships, Uncategorized

It was presentation day, and our group was up next.

Nerves were setting in, and I turned to a classmate, “Well, here goes nothing. I’m so nervous.”

She looks at me. Pauses and then says, “You’re a great presenter- you’re talented, and you can do this.”

Her response made me reflect on how we react to others under stress.

How many times has someone come to you with an insecurity and you’ve responded by:

A. Being annoyed assuming that they were seeking attention

or

B. By saying something like “you’re fine, stop.”

(Both of which are completely not comforting)

Let’s face it. We all feel anxious and insecure at some point in our lives. All of us. Sometimes in these moments we really just need positive affirmations.

So I encourage you next time someone comes to you with an insecurity or fear not to respond with:

“Shut up you’re not ____”

“Whatever!”

“Stop”

Instead, try positive reinforcements. It can feel like extra effort, but it’s worth it. These are phrases that sound like:

“You are worthy, and you will get through this. I believe in you”

“You’re intelligent, and you will figure it out”

“Your *insert body insecurity* is perfect the way it is”

It will make a world of a difference in that person’s day. It did for me.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Falling in Love with an Idea

Advice + Inspiration, mindfulness, Mindfulness, relationships, Uncategorized

Have you ever fallen in love with the idea of something? My guess is that you probably have.

We fall in love with the idea of a person, a lifestyle, a career.

We want what we can’t have. Why? We are quick to assume that because we can’t achieve something, we aren’t worthy of having it. This means we fall in love with ideas because we believe they will make us feel worthy. So what do we do? We work to change ourselves in order to fit into someone who is. This can mean changing our values, working hard to please others, or doing things that we actually don’t like.

There’s nothing wrong with self-betterment. In fact, it’s great to have goals to work toward. However, it is important to realize why we have the goals we have. If we have them in order to receive external rewards, it might be a good idea to re-evaluate. The only outcomes and feelings we can control are our own.

Imagine that your goal is to get a job to impress others. You work tirelessly to become qualified for this position and once you receive it, you get the response you wanted- people are congratulating you and some are even calling you successful. What a feeling! A month later, this is no longer the topic of conversation, and you are left with a job that you don’t even like.

One of my good friends once told me, “I used to work so hard to prove myself to others until one day I realized that no one actually cares.” He’s right. When you think about it like this, you start making decisions for yourself. What actually makes YOU feel satisfied? If no one was watching you and you had nothing to prove, how would you behave? What makes you happy with out other people’s approval?

What about when it comes to relationships? A relationship ends, and we fantasize how great our partner was. We begin to tell ourselves that if we just improve this or that, that we might be worthy of their love. We focus on becoming better, but we do it for the wrong reasons. You do not have to prove yourself to this person. Take all the good that you see in this person, and start believing those things about yourself. You do not have to win anyone over.

Win yourself over.

Stop falling in love with ideas, fall in love with yourself.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Preparing for Transition

advice, Advice + Inspiration, Uncategorized

So, what’s next?

A question that can evoke so much emotion: both negative and positive. There are times when the idea of “what’s next” is thrilling. Limitless possibilities. While other times we ask the question and feel intense unease. What if I make the wrong decisions? What if it doesn’t work out? What if, What if, What if…

The uncertainty of what’s next can cause us to over analyze and hyper plan to re-gain some certainty in our lives. Change can be terrifying and confusing.

Having felt the aches of not being able to decide what’s next, I have searched for many ways to cope with the feeling. Here’s what I have decided to do: reflect, learn and give back.

Reflection: What do you value and what gives you energy and fulfillment? No matter where you are in life, you need to make sure that you are staying true to these two things. In my case, I love attending events. Creating. Encouraging others. I value honesty, loyalty, and kindness. I know that no matter where I go, I will carry these values with me. I will continue to search for meaningful experiences and events in my community.

Learning and Giving Back: We crave to grow. That’s the human experience. Just sit back and think of how much you have left to learn in this world. There is so much that has been unexplored. So many ideas that you haven’t even been introduced to yet. I walk through the public library in my city and think of all the books I have yet to touch. Learn from people. Listen to their stories. What has their experience been like? How can you help them? What can you do to improve the environment around you? Your community?

Focus on what you can do today to be true to yourself and to enjoy the present moment whether that be by reading a self-help book with a classmate, finding a new self-care routine, or by going for a long walk. Tomorrow isn’t here yet. You only have today and right now. Don’t be so busy planning for the next chapter that you forget to enjoy and appreciate what you have in this moment.

Thanks for reading,

XO coco

If You’re Bad at Remembering History, Read This.

Advice + Inspiration, Travel + Adventure, Uncategorized

You can teach me about the same war twenty times and a day later I will have already forgotten about it.

Does this sound like you?

Yesterday I was at the airport waiting to board when a woman across from me asked: “so where are you traveling to?” Quite honestly I wasn’t in the mood to chat. I had an early flight that morning and this was my connecting one. Regardless, I told her and we began to chat about our travels. She was around her mid 40s – early 50s. Her shortish golden hair reminded me of my grandmother’s.

After around ten minutes, the plane began to board. Turns out, I was sitting behind her. We talked about how she met her husband on a beach in Spain years ago. She described how they are still madly in love even after having three kids. Although that is nowhere near where my life is at right now, I felt as though we were very similar.

When we got off of the plane, we were going through airport security and she began to tell me about some Dutch history. Before she went any further, I had to tell her: “I’m going to be honest I love history. I think it’s fascinating.. but I never remember it. I’ve seen several castles and battle grounds in Ireland and I couldn’t tell you one fact about them.” She laughed at me. I felt a bit embarrassed. Then she said this:

“I’m bad at remembering history too!”

“Really, so how do you know all of these facts?”

“I read children’s books”

“Do they actually help?”

” Yes, because it’s more important to understand the big picture before trying to remember the small details. I read a children’s book called the history of France before I went there. My friend and I brought the book with us and matched the illustrated pictures to the things we saw while we were there.”

“Where have you been my whole life! Haha”

“Also there’s a lot of movies that can help with that too.”

Our conversation went further, but I had never thought of doing this. Children’s books have to explain things in simple terms. Only once you get something in simple terms can you dive deeper and learn more.

This advice has really and truly changed my life. Time to go buy some children’s books.

Have you tried this before?

XO,

YOUNGCOCO