What’s your Life Blueprint?

You can imagine my disbelief when my friend, who is embarking her motivational speaking career, told our friend group that she had never heard of Tony Robbins. Excuse me. What?!

When I was in high school, I discovered Pinterest. This was the beginning of my obsession with motivational quotes which translated into watching motivational videos on YouTube. I remember one of the first motivational speeches I watched on youtube; it was given by Tony Robbins. I remember watching this video and then watching all of his videos and thinking to myself that he truly had life figured out.

Fast-forward a few years and I’m listening to a podcast, called Earn Your Happy, where the hostess, Lori Harder, interviewed someone who was once one of Tony’s interns. Omg I thought. Tony Robbins!

So, the other day I was browsing YouTube jumping around between different TED Talks, and one of the suggested videos was one by Tony Robins that was titled change your life blueprint.

I swear I had seen this video before, but it still resonated with me so much. In Tony’s speech, he explains that the reason why we are unhappy with ourselves is because our vision of what our life should look like doesn’t match what it really is.

We have these ideas of what the perfect relationship is in our minds or the perfect job or our perfect body and we compare this mental vision to our reality. This disconnect makes us feel depressed, unsatisfied, and can cause great amounts of anxiety.

Is this true for you? I know in my life I create ideals of where I should be in my career, what kinds of relationships are in my life, how much money I should have, and what I should look like.

Tony’s resolution? Either change you mental blueprint of what your life should look like or change your life to meet the blueprint. Realize what blueprints in your life are unrealistic and create new ones or alter them so they can match your life.

One person Tony talked about in the speech was an athlete who wasn’t able to play anymore due to physical injuries. This athlete became depressed and hopeless. He said he would never be happy again unless he was able to play the sport again. In his blueprint, the only way he would make his family proud and support them was through playing this sport. It wasn’t until he realized that he could create a new path for himself that he was able to find happiness again. This wasn’t the one and only way he could find success in his life. It was time to create a new blueprint for himself.

Even when we try not to, we are constantly comparing ourselves whether it’s to that vision of what our life should be like or to others. In the end, this comparison rarely does anything for us unless we reflect when we catch ourselves doing it.

I want to end this post with a quote I saw this morning posted by Jhene Aiko:

So, what is your current “life blueprint” what adjustments will need to be made?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Why Being Kind Can Mean Being Vulnerable

Does everyone suffer from some kind of social anxiety?

Or am I the only one who feels awkward when I am alone in a hallway with someone walking the opposite direction and can’t decide where to look and when it’s okay to make eye contact and basically over-think everything?I know in my heart the kind thing to do is look at the person and smile or even say hi, but sometimes I just decide to look down and keep walking.

Being kind can actually be kind of scary sometimes. It can take us out of our comfort zones.

So, story time: A few months ago, I took a trip to California. I checked into my flight before I left- window seat. Score! I got on the plane and the person sitting in my row was a guy in his early 20’s. He had red hair and looked like a slightly bigger version of Ed Sheran. I sat down next to him and immediately put in my headphones; it was a 6am flight and I was tired. Five minutes into the flight, he tapped on my shoulder, “you can just punch me if I’m asleep and you need to use the bathroom.” We both chuckled and then I put in my headphones again. We both fell asleep shortly after.

I woke back up and saw him jamming out. He was head nodding and aggressively playing the air guitar with his iPhone. It was hilarious. Clearly, he did not care if anyone was watching.

I didn’t mention this earlier, but for some reason I was feeling extremely anxious on this flight which is rare because I love flying. I stared out the window and took deep breaths in attempts to rid myself of the nervous feelings. I shut my eyes briefly and then he tapped on my shoulder again, “hey can I share some music with you?”

Is this guy trying to sell me his music? I thought to myself, but I didn’t question him. I put in one ear bud and he had the other one in. Before he started to play it, he told me that he had been listening to this song when he was jamming out earlier and he wanted to share the experience with me. The music started playing and it turned out to not be his music, but religious music.

So this guy went out of his way just to share a feeling he received from this song with me- pure joy. For the first time during this flight I felt some peace. 

Moral of the story?

Go out of your way to be kind. You really do not know what other people are going through. One small gesture can make that difference for them. Your actions affect people more than you think. Be vulnerable and be kind. It matters.

I Asked 20 People What Their Life Philosophy Was. Here’s What They Said:

On a Sunday morning, I decided to ask everyone a pretty scary question, that if someone had asked me before this, I’m not sure I would’ve known what to say:

“What is your philosophy on life?”

I asked partly out of curiosity but mainly because I have so many amazing people in my life that I look up to and thought this was a perfect opportunity to learn from them.   

So, here it is. 20 Life Philosophies!

1

Work everyday. Then, there is no time to feel worried or have sorrow. Work and your job becomes your biggest supporter. I work everyday and I think that makes me happy. 

2

Have more than one source of happiness. Have many hobbies. Music, reading, entertainment- things you can lean on. Looking at it in an analytical way: not only does this thing make me happy, but does it contribute to my life? For example: playing guitar versus watching Netflix. Playing the guitar feels more rewarding because many things that feel rewarding require more work, but they are more worth it. 

Have low expectations. Don’t let life disappoint you. So if your car breaks down or your friend shows up late, it doesn’t matter.

Try to live more in the moment. Easier said than done but really just focusing on the now.

Connecting with others is a really good source of happiness. I call my friends on commutes. Listening to stories makes me feel connected.

Simplicity. The best sushi is just fish on rice. It’s about the quality.

I believe that happiness is not success related. In America, success is so rooted in happiness. Success is a biproduct of mindset.

Internal happiness through reflection. Journaling, meditation, walking.

Understanding the nature of human beings and how the world works is important too. Not everything is good. You can still do things to want to change the world for the better, but it is nothing you should distress over. You can understand why the world is the way it is, and try not to add to it (like pollution), but it’s human nature. You’re always going to meet mean people, but realize that’s how they were raised and it’s not inherently their fault. Doesn’t mean you should spend time with them but don’t judge them. 

3

I feel like my philosophy is kindness. So many people are so harsh with each other. Be good to the people around you. You never know what people are going through. We should all look out for each other. There’s so much hardship in the world like natural disasters and you never know who’s connected to what. Wealthier people have so many things they could do to better the world, but it usually ends up being the people who go through stuff who are the ones that give the most. For example, someone I was donating stuff to asked me if there were other people I could give to and handed me back some of the boxes I gave to them. 

4

Approach every situation and person with a clean slate. You don’t know what to expect. Everyone’s experience in life is different.

Find out who you are. It’s a long journey. It took me a few years to discover who I am, but I base my actions off of being a strong woman. 

5

Good Food=Good Life.

6

This one is something I have followed my whole adult life:
Always choose to work where there are people who will inspire you and that you know will make you a better person for knowing them. 
I’ve followed this rule since the day I left college and it has led to a career I have just loved and am incredibly grateful for. 

Another one I value is: Don’t be afraid to be the novice and to ask for help. It’s liberating to learn from others rather than compete with them to be right. 
And finally: When meeting new people, always ask them questions and show interest in them. People are typically flattered and will have a very good impression of you subconsciously as you made them feel so good. A bit sneaky but a good rule of thumb that gives you a simple and harmless advantage!

7

Do everything in life with joy and goodness from your heart. I think the most important thing to me is to do good and be happy while I live. I want to live with a lust for life, sprinkling positivity glitter everywhere I go and I want to be pure in my intentions- showing passion, compassion, and all of the kindness I can muster.

8

So, I know this sounds cliche, but my philosophy is “Live Your Best Life.” Essentially what this means to me is that you’re going to go through life doing what you think is best for you in the moment. What makes you happy at that point in time. Will it be best for you 50 years from now? Who knows. But, you’re always one decision away from a completely different life. So, live your best life. 

9

I would say everything should be guided by mutual respect, so acting in ways that respect yourself and make you feel empowered but also making sure that your actions are respectful of those around you and that you honor other people’s differences and life experiences. I think making big life decisions or even just every day interactions with people benefit from making sure it’s mutually respectful. 

10

For me, goals are important and achieving them are also very important to me. It brings me happiness in a way that’s different from going out or all of that. I feel like my hard work got me there. 

11

Never stop evolving even though you know you’re blessed. There is always room to be a better person and impact people’s lives in a positive way, no matter where you’re at in life!

12

Taking time to relax and recharge opens us up to more joy and meaning in life. 

13

I would say my philosophy on life would be to never give up. Never give up no matter how hard life and its situations might get. I say that because there is no blueprint to life and sometimes you may not know how to navigate and how to deal with situations but it all works itself out in the end as long as you keep trying

14

Life is an opportunity to create a story. Some people defy the laws of life and create great stories. I want to become one of the greatest story-tellers the world has ever seen. My dad always told me “you can only live to be 100 years, but your impact can live forever.”

15

I always try to go into situations with an open-mind and realizing that you are not always right. I know that everyone on this earth has a different mindset and approach towards how they want to live their lives. We each have different identities and cultures and we need to respect that about each other and not shut down other’s ideas right away. We need to make sure we hear them out and think radically about what they are saying.

I love the quote that goes, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” —Stephen R. Covey. But I truly think if we approach situations like this with an intent to understand and work together to fix problems, the world would be a lot better off in the future. 

16

Don’t stress too much about things. Live in the moment. 

17

Don’t be afraid to be yourself because that’s the only way you can be truly happy. Don’t care about what other people think. Treat everyone as kindly as you can because you never know when you will need them. You may have to depend on them some day. Treat everyone equally. 

18

Work hard but never forget to have fun. Create fun memories! As I get older, I realize more and more how important it is to have fun. 

Let things go that don’t matter!  Don’t let things get to you, life goes so fast. Remember to have fun and make memories. Stay in touch with friends, go out, do things you don’t normally do. Remember, you are only as old as you feel!  

19

I’d say mine is to love unconditionally. It doesn’t mean that you let people walk all over you, like boundaries need to be in place for healthy relationships, but loving people as they are and where they are is extremely healing not just for them but for myself too. I want to pour into people so that they’re not alone! 

20

Don’t invest 5 minutes if you’re not willing to invest 5 years. And work hard in silence, and let your success be the noise.


HUGE Thank you to everyone who shared their philosophy and to everyone who is reading. I hope these resonated with you as much as they did with me. I also want to take this chance to say how lucky I am to be surrounded with people who have such positive and thoughtful philosophies. Happy Sunday!

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

8 Easy Ways to Make Someone Else’s Day

smile_brick_happy

Greet them excitedly when they enter a room

There’s no better feeling than being warmly greeted when you enter a new space. Acknowledge someone else’s presence!

Ask them how they are and dig deeper

“How are you?” “I’m okay, how are you?”  Ask why they are just okay! “What’s going on in your life?” It feels good to know someone cares.

Just smile

It’s funny the power that a smile can have. I can say that my days have been turned around simply by having a stranger smile at me. BE THAT STRANGER.

Notice and remember the small things

People feel good when they feel noticed. Point out small things and they’ll be surprised you actually pay attention to them. Make sure they are positive things though lol.

Show endless gratitude

No matter how small of a favor someone did for you, you need to remember that no one owes you anything. So appreciate the fact that someone went out of their way to do something for you. It will make them happy that they did.

Check-in

Send random texts to see how your loved ones are. You never know how their day is going and it can make the difference. It doesn’t have to be serious- send them a funny meme or cute gif. Its nice to know someone is thinking of you.

Listen

Get off your phone, be present. What is this person communicating to you and why? How are they feeling in this moment? What can you do to show that you are really truly listening? Do it. We all want to be heard.

Be encouraging!

Be the voice of excitement and positivity in their day. Support their wild dreams, let them know they can get through their battles. Believe in them.

 

It is crazy how little effort on your end can make a huge difference on someone else’s day.  Not only does it make them feel good, but it can impact your day for the better as well. 

Diving Deeper into: Love and Kindness Meditation

Love and Kindness

In my “Curious About Guided Meditation? Here was my Experience .” blog post, I talked about how impactful the love & kindness practice portion felt- at one point it even had me in tears.

Since this day, I’ve been eager to learn more about this whole Love & Kindness Meditation thing: what it is, the benefits, and how to practice it on my own time. So here is what I’ve found-

What is LKM?

“Put most simply, Loving-Kindness Meditation (LKM) is the practice of cultivating the feeling of universal love – love for all beings, as opposed to personal or romantic love. This is typically done by directing well-wishes towards yourself and others. In Buddhism this is known as Metta, or compassion meditation.” Source here. 

Benefits:

Increases energy

Increases positive emotions & decreases negative emotions

Decreases migraines

Decreases PTSD

Activates & increase empathy

Increases compassion & social awareness

Curbs self-criticism

Better sleep habits

A calmer mind

Brightens complexion

Source 2 + Source 3

How to practice Love & Kindness Meditation in daily life

Here’s one method.

Begin by finding a quiet place, close your eyes, and begin by picturing yourself and say the following-

  1. May I be happy.
  2. May I be safe.
  3. May I be healthy, peaceful, and strong.
  4. May I give and receive appreciation today.

Once you have done this, think of someone you love. picture them in you mind’s eye, and say (in your head or out loud) the following-

  1. May you be happy.
  2. May you be safe.
  3. May you be healthy, peaceful, and strong.
  4. May you give and receive appreciation today.

Repeat this step for everyone you have ever loved, then for someone you feel neutral towards, then someone you don’t particularly like, and end this meditation with picturing the world and do the same.

More information about how to perform meditation here.

 

I hope you learned something new from this post.

This is definitely something I will be putting into practice in my daily life.

Thanks! 🙂