Why We Need to Remember to Take Baby Steps

Would you expect a baby to be able to run a marathon?

I really hope you answered no.

Have you ever been at your desk or laid in bed at night thinking about all the things you had to get done? Picturing your to-do list can be really and truly scary.

I need to email ____ …Oh and I have to finish these assignments.. I forgot to call___… The application for ___ is due tomorrow… AHHHH !!!

This self-talk looks almost identical to the one I replay internally nearly everyday. You too?

Usually when I have these overwhelming feelings, I look for inspiration. Sometimes I find it and sometimes I don’t.

Lucky for me and those reading, this time I found exactly what I needed to hear.

I came across a TedX called “How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals.” Please watch it if you haven’t already done so.

The speaker in this video has achieved unimaginable things. He forced himself into the Guinness Book of World Records for something that previously wasn’t a topic in it. He participated in the most difficult half marathon, learned how to speak German, read 50 books, hiked 33 trails in a year, and the list goes on.

This guy is super accomplished, right?

What’s his advice? Little steps.

How can you climb to the top of the mountain if you don’t take the first step?

How can you read 50 books if you don’t read the first chapter, sentence, word?

He suggests that instead of drastically changing our routines and habits that we add small changes to get there.

To learn German, he dedicated his commute time in which he usually listened to music, and switched the audio to the lessons.

What small actions can you make to bring you closer to your goals or to crossing off everything on that to-do list?

Don’t let the height of the mountain intimidate you. Take your next step and focus. Progress is still progress.

You won’t get everything done if you don’t start by getting the first thing done.

Baby steps.

What’s the Greatest Thing You Can Do for Others?

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What’s the greatest thing you can do for others?

Become genuinely happy.

Here’s the secret though: becoming genuinely happy takes work. Are you willing to do it?

What habits are preventing you from becoming genuinely happy?

Here are some common habits I am familiar with and have noticed affect others’ happiness as well:

1. Being a pushover

2. Making decisions that don’t align with your goals

3. Not being true to yourself

4. Doing things only for instant gratification

5. Being selfish

Why do these habits affect us negatively? They prevent us from having genuine connections with ourselves which in turn makes it hard for us to connect with others. 

Think of a time when you truly felt good about yourself. Not just in a superficial way, but in a way that went deeper. You were excited to wake up and felt like you were in great alignment. Your conversations were not only great internally, but this alignment allowed for you to have great interactions with others. Every action and moment felt like it served a greater purpose. You felt connected to source. 

So, if you aren’t new to my blog, you know that I love to ask questions. I think asking yourself questions often is so important in understanding ourselves and why we behave in certain ways.

Here are some questions I want you to consider in figuring out how you will become genuinely happy:

How will I spend my mornings?

For me, mornings are sacred. I need time to wake up. If I don’t get this time, it affects my day and mood. The days I’m happiest are when I wake up and meditate. Don’t check my phone. Take time to pick out my outfit and plan my day. 

What will I do everyday to work toward my goals?

No matter who you are, working toward a goal is crucial in finding meaning in your everyday life. My goal is to lead a healthy lifestyle. I walk every single day. Walks are a good way for me to reflect and get in fresh air while getting steps in. I enjoy them too! What thing can you implement that will work with your schedule? Pick something you will enjoy doing and stick with it. Make it essential in your daily routine.

 What is/ will be my creative outlet?

We all need one. Is it music? Writing? Painting? Whatever it is, make sure you have a bit of it at least once a week. Do something simply for the fun of it. 

What will I do to stop myself from going back to old habits that prevent my happiness?

Figure out your triggers and check-in with yourself often. Why are you doing what you’re doing? I used to go out when I was sad or disappointed- not because I wanted to celebrate or have fun. In an attempt to escape reality, this habit only made me sadder. Now before I go out, I ask myself: why am I going out? And if it’s because I’m sad, I will decide to stay in and pamper myself. This has quick reflecting time has changed my life. Realize your own destructive behaviors, why you do them, and what you can do to change them for a healthier way of coping. 

What do you think? What makes you genuinely happy?

Thanks for reading!

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

The Feeling We All Fear: Loneliness

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We’ve all felt it & I think the strangest part of loneliness is that no matter where you are in the world, you can experience it.

I’ve been in rooms full of people and felt more alone than I had felt when I was by myself. Ironic isn’t it?

Or another good example is posting something on social media that gets a lot of attention. In the moment you feel excited and happy, but later on you somehow feel even lonelier and isolated. Why?

I wanted to share my recent experience with loneliness and I hope it gives you a feeling of peace if you are experiencing it right now.

So the other day, this feeling of loneliness took over me- a feeling that, luckily, I hadn’t felt in a while. I began to overthink every aspect of my life. I started to question my decisions and blaming myself for situations that were out of my control.

Why did this relationship end? Why did I treat so and so that way? Why did I do this instead of that? This is why I am lonely. “

To drown out the thoughts, I put on a feel good movie and finally was able to go to bed.

The next day, I kept replaying the thoughts that I had been feeding myself the night before. 

Later on in that day, I was chatting with a friend. With this experience consuming my mind during conversation, I finally built up the courage to ask-

“do you ever feel lonely?” 

“Yes. A lot.”

Obviously, the conversation went on further, but strangely after she said this, I felt relieved.

I am not happy my friend feels this pain- not one bit, but there is some comfort in knowing loneliness is part of the human experience and it is normal. It makes me realize- I am not alone in this.

And if you are reading this right now this is a reminder to you,

you are not alone either.

You will get through it.

 

 

Curious About Guided-Meditation? Here Was My Experience.

I walked from the chilling outdoors into a warm, welcoming house. Candles were lit, tea was made, fuzzy blankets were laid out for anybody who wanted one. I was greeted with kindness and a smile when I stepped inside. 

There were three people in the class other than the instructor and me.

We all picked a chair for our relaxation practice. I picked a red chair- one of those that you can rest your head on the sides of. I grabbed a soft purple blanket and reclined my chair. 

The meditation began. It was delivered in three different sections: guided relaxation, imagery, and love and kindness.

Guided Relaxation

In this section, the class was instructed to tighten parts of our body and release them. We started from our toes ending at the top of our heads.

“you may feel like you are melting into your chair” “release all the tension, let go”, our instructor told us gently.

Although worries about my day and future came in and out of my mind, I felt very relaxed. Deep breathing, heavy body. I don’t know if I could’ve gotten out of my chair at that point.

Guided Imagery

In this part, the instructor read a story to us and guided us through it.

In this process, a lot of the story’s details were up to us. It was a guided imagery that had us envision our inner self.

“What colors do you see?”

“What is being said?”

“ What do the people look like?”

This was the hardest one for me. I kept switching what I was seeing because I kept overthinking what I was supposed to be seeing instead of just letting the images flow. I think this part takes a lot of practice. 

Love and Kindness

The was the last part..now this part made me very emotional.

The instructor guided us to imagine two people on either side of us: it could be a family member who you know loves you unconditionally, a trusted friend, or a spiritual being who you know protects you. 

You imagine them sending you love and then you send them love back. This overwhelmed me with emotion. I’m not sure why.

Afterwards, she guided us to picture all of our loved ones (past and present) surrounding us and doing the same thing- getting their love and sending love to them.

We also had to do this with two other groups of people in our lives- people we felt neutral about and someone we didn’t particularly like.

At the end, she had us picturing the world and giving it a hug and wishing everyone love and happiness. I can’t describe how I felt in this moment- almost as though a weight had been lifted but again it was indescribable.

What do I think about guided meditation?

I think everyone should definitely give it a try. It feels really good and even if you try once it can give you tools to practice meditation on your own.

My favorite by far was the love and kindness at the end. This is one I want to put into my daily practice. I think depending on what you want to work on in your meditation one type might resonate with you more than others.

If you have any questions about the process definitely ask and if you have done one yourself I would love to hear what your experience was like!