Just let it go
As most of the advice we are given, easier said than done.
Books and spiritual healers tell us the key to happiness and inner peace is to let go, but what exactly does that mean?
Let go of what is no longer serving you- that thought, belief, idea. Let go of that story you tell yourself where you are the victim.
Let go of the need for control. The more we feel the need to control a situation or another person, the more unhappy we find ourselves. The mentality is addictive and unhealthy. We do not own others. What they do is up to them as what we do is up to us.
What you do have control over is your contribution to any given space or relationship. Notice your thoughts. Question them frequently. Is this true or is this a story that is taking from my well-being?
Approach everything with a kind heart and watch your life flourish. Do it all out of love. What isn’t falling into place isn’t for a reason.
When we have the best intentions, give others the freedom to be themselves and aim to contribute to their happiness as well as our own, we become fully in alignment.
You can do it- let it go.
As our lives become busy with the demands of work, relationships and other obligations, we begin to live in autopilot. Our lives become routine and before we know it, we don’t have enough time or money to do anything that we actually want to do.
A few weeks ago, I felt myself falling into this trap. I was in a habit of mindlessly scrolling through my phone, waking up later than usual, and throwing away all discipline when it came to my health. I blamed it all on “being stressed” and “not having enough time.”
Have you ever told yourself that same story? Here are some techniques I recommend you try:
1. Limit/ eliminate social media: 10 minutes of scrolling on instagram or 10 minutes preparing your lunch for the next day? An hour on facebook or an hour spending time with your loved ones? Think of the time you spend on social media and replace it with activities that feel meaningful to you. Turn your phone on airplane mode if you need to.
2. Create a schedule for your goals: Instead of just saying you will go to the gym 3 days this week, print out a calendar and write down the days you will be there. Adding your goals into your schedule makes it easier for you to stick to them than if you go each day deciding whether or not you want to work out.
3. Spend your morning doing things you enjoy: Do you feel rushed in the morning? Try waking up even just 10 minutes earlier to give yourself time to do something you thoroughly enjoy whether that be enjoying that cup of coffee or spending longer doing your hair. It will make a world of a difference.
4. Night routine: Do what tomorrow morning you will thank you for tonight. Plan the outfit, organize your work bag, clean your room. It will make waking up a lot easier and you will feel like you have your s*** together (even if you don’t ).
What techniques work for you to have a more focused life?
Thanks for reading,
Disclaimer: I have never been to France, however, these are lessons I have taken from the book Home Sweet Maison: The French Art of making a Home
1. Have Dedicated Rooms:
As supposed to open floor plans in a modern American home, the traditional French home keeps each room a separate space. The reason for this being that every room is a dedicated space for a particular activity. The kitchen is for cooking, living room for entertaining and so on. The French believe that it is important to focus on one stimulus at a time. One should not cook while talking to friends but rather make them separate events. This type of separation in activities allows for us to be more present in the moment and truly experience each part.
2. Your Entry Way is Important:
Your entry is the room you enter as you walk into somebody’s home. In the states, it’s usually a place to take off your shoes or hang your coat. In a traditional french home, your entry way is much more than that. This is a place where you showcase your favorite art or photograph. It’s a place to showcase an event that has transformed your life. Only one’s favorite pieces or important experiences is shown at the front. It is a great talking point for people who come in as it says a lot about the person’s home in which you are about to enter.
3. Control and Mindfulness
Everything in moderation. The author of the book describes how her French husband came to New York with her, didn’t change what he ate, yet he had gained 15 pounds within the first year of moving. Turns out, we have much bigger portions than the French. Who knew? In their culture, it is frowned upon to eat without control. Food is eaten mindfully as is the consumption of alcohol.
Which of these ideas do you think could benefit you in your home?
Thanks for reading,
Browsing on YouTube, I came across a video titled “the 12 habits that changed my life”. Expecting a list of habits that changed this person’s life, I was surprised when the narrator actually confessed that there weren’t 12 habits that actually changed his life but his perspective. He had dedicated his year to 12 different 30-day challenges from taking cold showers every day to waking up at 5a.m. Everyday.
What did he learn? Habits that are life-changing are different for everyone. Waking up at 5 a.m. actually didn’t make him more productive, journaling didn’t change him as much as exercising everyday. This does not hold true for everyone. Journaling may be life-changing for you, but like medication there is not a one size fits all solution.
Applying this to my own life, working out everyday is something I used to strive to do as I saw this habit transform the life of my friends and family, however, it has never been a sustainable habit. I know I can dedicate at least 3 days a week to the gym since fitness is important to me, but I have other priorities such as volunteering and creating things that I also value and need to make time for that allow for my soul to thrive.
So what habits are life-changing for you? Don’t be taunted by people who wake up at 5 a.m. and say this has been life-changing for them. This does not mean that it will be the same for you.
Test out new habits and see what works best for you. Maybe even try a few 30-day challenges and see what sticks and makes you feel like you are not only growing but enjoying yourself in the process.
Thanks for reading,
So you made it.
You’re in a new neighborhood, city, state, country.
Different landscapes and new faces.
You have a feeling that everyone you come across can tell that you’re an outsider.
Overthinking what you say and how you move- everyone knows you’re not from here.
What do you do?
Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. Laugh at yourself and all of your awkwardness.
Smile at strangers.
Stop for pedestrians who’ve been waiting to cross.
Create a list of places to walk and explore.
Find places to volunteer- libraries or community events.
Try cooking a new recipe.
“Are you really hungies or do you just feel empty inside?” My friend read out loud from a tweet on our way to brunch. We all laughed.
The tweet which was comical, yet very relatable, and it re-visited my mind today.
I think back to social occasions where I’ve felt disconnected or uncomfortable and have turned to food hoping it would somehow fill the void.
Food is such an emotional thing- a temporary fix from a stressful day, an escape from loneliness or disappointment.
I find that when I’m going about my day with intentional alignment with my goals and purpose that I am less likely to emotional eat. I’m more inclined to eat more nourishing foods.
Like many bad habits, it’s so important to realize what triggers or excuses you use that cause them to continue.
Just something to think about.. Food for thought💭
If I get the job, I win and if I don’t, I’m still winning.
What if your inner talk sounded like this?
How much happier would you be when things didn’t go your way?
The other day I had plans with a friend. We had the plans set in stone for weeks, and last minute, they canceled. I was bummed. It felt like a loss. I sat in bed thinking that my day was ruined. I sat in my misery and felt frustration fill my body. Then I paused and thought: how can I see this from a different perspective? I realized it had been weeks since I had alone time. I was going to make this a “me” day. I did all the things I had put off while being so busy entertaining friends and working. It was a win-win.
Wins can be lessons learned, a chance to do something new, a chance to appreciate an aspect of your life you take for granted.
Today decide that no matter what happens, you are winning.