5 Lessons from “Healthy Habits Suck”

ideas, Uncategorized

Heathy Habits suck. Agree? If so, these lessons may be helpful to you. In the book Healthy Habits Suck, Dr. Lee-Baggley gives us the following practices and ideas to help us maintain our healthy behaviors.

1. Healthy habits go against our human nature which is why it is hard for us to stick with them

The author, Dr. Lee-Baggley, gives the example of two people in the wild running from a bear- person #1 went for a run in the morning and person #2 slept in, who would be more likely to have the energy to outrun the bear? The person who slept in and saved their energy. Saving energy is a survival mechanism that healthy habits frequently contradict.

2. Find the value behind your goals

Why do you want to develop healthy habits? Dr. Lee-Baggley suggests you find a deeper meaning than just to become healthy or to lose weight. Try to attach values to your healthy goals such as: when I keep up with my healthy habits, I can show up for my family better or exercising everyday helps me do better at work.

3. Practice the 90% rule

When you decide your goals, ask yourself if you are 90% sure you will be able to achieve them. This rule plays on the fact that success breeds success and failure breeds failure. When we feel like we are going above the mark, it motivates us to do even better, and the opposite when we are under-performing.

4. The Arm Test

Try this: tell yourself you cannot lift up your arm while you lift up your arm. Can you do it? This practice serves as a reminder that the voice in your head isn’t always right. You don’t need to believe you can do something to keep doing it.

5. Self-Compassion

Dr. Lee-Baggley describes a study where two groups were asked to take on an impossible puzzle. The first group was given positive instruction “it’s okay if it takes a while, this is a difficult exam for everyone” whereas the second group was not. Although the puzzle was unsolvable, the first group worked at the puzzled for longer with a much more positive approach than group 2. Being compassionate with ourselves helps us to face more difficult problems and be less likely to give up.

What do you think of these ideas?

Thank you for reading,

Coco

Designing your Dream Life in 2020

advice, Uncategorized

As 2019 is coming to an end, we begin to consider our resolutions for the New Year.

It’s safe to say we all would ideally love to live our “dream lives” yet life and comforting excuses have continued to get in our way.

Going into our next chapter, 2020, it’s so important to reflect on the year that just happened. What did you accomplish? How did you grow? What were some of the best times and worst times? Why? What habits did you continue or start? What are you proud of? What lessons did you learn?

Now diving into your goals for 2020, consider the following:

What’s one word you would like to be the theme for 2020? I was talking with a friend who told me her vision for the year was “french.” To her this means living in simplicity, dressing modestly and eating more mindfully.

How will your day to day life look like? If you are already dreading your approach to your goals, it’s likely that you will give up before you achieve them. Fall in love with the process. Get excited about new habits and routines. Make them fun.

Use a habit tracker. One of my best friends got me a habit tracking journal for the new year. They are amazing tools to help you notice patterns within yourself and get you motivated to stay on track. Achieving mini-goals along the way helps you achieve our bigger goals.

If your 2020 was a chapter in a book, how would it be written? What character will you play? What kinds of adventures will you go on? Who will you meet? How will you affect the other characters? How will you transform- internally as well as externally?

Thanks for reading. I hope your 2020 is all you are dreaming of and more.

Happy New Year 🥳

Food for Thought

health, mindfulness, Mindfulness

“Are you really hungies or do you just feel empty inside?” My friend read out loud from a tweet on our way to brunch. We all laughed.

The tweet which was comical, yet very relatable, and it re-visited my mind today.

I think back to social occasions where I’ve felt disconnected or uncomfortable and have turned to food hoping it would somehow fill the void.

Food is such an emotional thing- a temporary fix from a stressful day, an escape from loneliness or disappointment.

I find that when I’m going about my day with intentional alignment with my goals and purpose that I am less likely to emotional eat. I’m more inclined to eat more nourishing foods.

Like many bad habits, it’s so important to realize what triggers or excuses you use that cause them to continue.

Just something to think about.. Food for thought💭

Falling in Love with an Idea

Advice + Inspiration, mindfulness, Mindfulness, relationships, Uncategorized

Have you ever fallen in love with the idea of something? My guess is that you probably have.

We fall in love with the idea of a person, a lifestyle, a career.

We want what we can’t have. Why? We are quick to assume that because we can’t achieve something, we aren’t worthy of having it. This means we fall in love with ideas because we believe they will make us feel worthy. So what do we do? We work to change ourselves in order to fit into someone who is. This can mean changing our values, working hard to please others, or doing things that we actually don’t like.

There’s nothing wrong with self-betterment. In fact, it’s great to have goals to work toward. However, it is important to realize why we have the goals we have. If we have them in order to receive external rewards, it might be a good idea to re-evaluate. The only outcomes and feelings we can control are our own.

Imagine that your goal is to get a job to impress others. You work tirelessly to become qualified for this position and once you receive it, you get the response you wanted- people are congratulating you and some are even calling you successful. What a feeling! A month later, this is no longer the topic of conversation, and you are left with a job that you don’t even like.

One of my good friends once told me, “I used to work so hard to prove myself to others until one day I realized that no one actually cares.” He’s right. When you think about it like this, you start making decisions for yourself. What actually makes YOU feel satisfied? If no one was watching you and you had nothing to prove, how would you behave? What makes you happy with out other people’s approval?

What about when it comes to relationships? A relationship ends, and we fantasize how great our partner was. We begin to tell ourselves that if we just improve this or that, that we might be worthy of their love. We focus on becoming better, but we do it for the wrong reasons. You do not have to prove yourself to this person. Take all the good that you see in this person, and start believing those things about yourself. You do not have to win anyone over.

Win yourself over.

Stop falling in love with ideas, fall in love with yourself.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Why You Need to Stop This Mindset

Advice + Inspiration, Uncategorized

If I lose 20 pounds then I’ll be happy

If I get a promotion then I’ll be successful

If I get this job then I’ll be good enough

If I get 10k followers then I will feel pretty

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!

Stop placing your worth, happiness, and success in the achievement of something in the future. When we do this, we basically tell ourselves that we cannot be happy until we get these things.

Think back to when you were a child. You’re in a grocery store trying to convince your parents to buy you a toy. You tell yourself that there is no possible way you will be happy unless they agree to buy you the thing. You have already decided that you will throw a fit if you don’t get what you want. This time you’re lucky- your parents agree to buy you it! Now you feel so happy… for a moment…. but it doesn’t last.

How many times have you placed your happiness on getting something that you look back on now and have to laugh? Turns out the American Girl Doll wasn’t the secret to our lasting happiness after all. Just like getting that new designer purse isn’t either.

How happy you are now is likely to determine how happy you will be in the future. It is fine to look forward to something. In fact, it’s totally healthy, but this is different than deciding you won’t be happy until something happens for you.

We aren’t the best at predicting what will happen in the future. Think about it. Who did you want to become when you were younger? What did you think you’d be doing right now 5 years ago? I can speak for myself and say that these are two very different things.

So decide today that you will be happy. Not when you get that new car or those new shoes. This only lasts so long until you are lusting over the next new thing.

Decide to be happy because you have goals and values that guide what you do. Be happy because you are in this moment right now and have made it this far. Be happy to be authentically you. And be happy that you are on a mission to change your life and the lives of others too.

What’s your Life Blueprint?

Advice + Inspiration, Uncategorized

You can imagine my disbelief when my friend, who is embarking her motivational speaking career, told our friend group that she had never heard of Tony Robbins. Excuse me. What?!

When I was in high school, I discovered Pinterest. This was the beginning of my obsession with motivational quotes which translated into watching motivational videos on YouTube. I remember one of the first motivational speeches I watched on youtube; it was given by Tony Robbins. I remember watching this video and then watching all of his videos and thinking to myself that he truly had life figured out.

Fast-forward a few years and I’m listening to a podcast, called Earn Your Happy, where the hostess, Lori Harder, interviewed someone who was once one of Tony’s interns. Omg I thought. Tony Robbins!

So, the other day I was browsing YouTube jumping around between different TED Talks, and one of the suggested videos was one by Tony Robins that was titled change your life blueprint.

I swear I had seen this video before, but it still resonated with me so much. In Tony’s speech, he explains that the reason why we are unhappy with ourselves is because our vision of what our life should look like doesn’t match what it really is.

We have these ideas of what the perfect relationship is in our minds or the perfect job or our perfect body and we compare this mental vision to our reality. This disconnect makes us feel depressed, unsatisfied, and can cause great amounts of anxiety.

Is this true for you? I know in my life I create ideals of where I should be in my career, what kinds of relationships are in my life, how much money I should have, and what I should look like.

Tony’s resolution? Either change you mental blueprint of what your life should look like or change your life to meet the blueprint. Realize what blueprints in your life are unrealistic and create new ones or alter them so they can match your life.

One person Tony talked about in the speech was an athlete who wasn’t able to play anymore due to physical injuries. This athlete became depressed and hopeless. He said he would never be happy again unless he was able to play the sport again. In his blueprint, the only way he would make his family proud and support them was through playing this sport. It wasn’t until he realized that he could create a new path for himself that he was able to find happiness again. This wasn’t the one and only way he could find success in his life. It was time to create a new blueprint for himself.

Even when we try not to, we are constantly comparing ourselves whether it’s to that vision of what our life should be like or to others. In the end, this comparison rarely does anything for us unless we reflect when we catch ourselves doing it.

I want to end this post with a quote I saw this morning posted by Jhene Aiko:

So, what is your current “life blueprint” what adjustments will need to be made?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Why Being Kind Can Mean Being Vulnerable

Advice + Inspiration

Does everyone suffer from some kind of social anxiety?

Or am I the only one who feels awkward when I am alone in a hallway with someone walking the opposite direction and can’t decide where to look and when it’s okay to make eye contact and basically over-think everything?I know in my heart the kind thing to do is look at the person and smile or even say hi, but sometimes I just decide to look down and keep walking.

Being kind can actually be kind of scary sometimes. It can take us out of our comfort zones.

So, story time: A few months ago, I took a trip to California. I checked into my flight before I left- window seat. Score! I got on the plane and the person sitting in my row was a guy in his early 20’s. He had red hair and looked like a slightly bigger version of Ed Sheran. I sat down next to him and immediately put in my headphones; it was a 6am flight and I was tired. Five minutes into the flight, he tapped on my shoulder, “you can just punch me if I’m asleep and you need to use the bathroom.” We both chuckled and then I put in my headphones again. We both fell asleep shortly after.

I woke back up and saw him jamming out. He was head nodding and aggressively playing the air guitar with his iPhone. It was hilarious. Clearly, he did not care if anyone was watching.

I didn’t mention this earlier, but for some reason I was feeling extremely anxious on this flight which is rare because I love flying. I stared out the window and took deep breaths in attempts to rid myself of the nervous feelings. I shut my eyes briefly and then he tapped on my shoulder again, “hey can I share some music with you?”

Is this guy trying to sell me his music? I thought to myself, but I didn’t question him. I put in one ear bud and he had the other one in. Before he started to play it, he told me that he had been listening to this song when he was jamming out earlier and he wanted to share the experience with me. The music started playing and it turned out to not be his music, but religious music.

So this guy went out of his way just to share a feeling he received from this song with me- pure joy. For the first time during this flight I felt some peace. 

Moral of the story?

Go out of your way to be kind. You really do not know what other people are going through. One small gesture can make that difference for them. Your actions affect people more than you think. Be vulnerable and be kind. It matters.