Why You Need to Stop This Mindset

If I lose 20 pounds then I’ll be happy

If I get a promotion then I’ll be successful

If I get this job then I’ll be good enough

If I get 10k followers then I will feel pretty

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!

Stop placing your worth, happiness, and success in the achievement of something in the future. When we do this, we basically tell ourselves that we cannot be happy until we get these things.

Think back to when you were a child. You’re in a grocery store trying to convince your parents to buy you a toy. You tell yourself that there is no possible way you will be happy unless they agree to buy you the thing. You have already decided that you will throw a fit if you don’t get what you want. This time you’re lucky- your parents agree to buy you it! Now you feel so happy… for a moment…. but it doesn’t last.

How many times have you placed your happiness on getting something that you look back on now and have to laugh? Turns out the American Girl Doll wasn’t the secret to our lasting happiness after all. Just like getting that new designer purse isn’t either.

How happy you are now is likely to determine how happy you will be in the future. It is fine to look forward to something. In fact, it’s totally healthy, but this is different than deciding you won’t be happy until something happens for you.

We aren’t the best at predicting what will happen in the future. Think about it. Who did you want to become when you were younger? What did you think you’d be doing right now 5 years ago? I can speak for myself and say that these are two very different things.

So decide today that you will be happy. Not when you get that new car or those new shoes. This only lasts so long until you are lusting over the next new thing.

Decide to be happy because you have goals and values that guide what you do. Be happy because you are in this moment right now and have made it this far. Be happy to be authentically you. And be happy that you are on a mission to change your life and the lives of others too.

What’s your Life Blueprint?

You can imagine my disbelief when my friend, who is embarking her motivational speaking career, told our friend group that she had never heard of Tony Robbins. Excuse me. What?!

When I was in high school, I discovered Pinterest. This was the beginning of my obsession with motivational quotes which translated into watching motivational videos on YouTube. I remember one of the first motivational speeches I watched on youtube; it was given by Tony Robbins. I remember watching this video and then watching all of his videos and thinking to myself that he truly had life figured out.

Fast-forward a few years and I’m listening to a podcast, called Earn Your Happy, where the hostess, Lori Harder, interviewed someone who was once one of Tony’s interns. Omg I thought. Tony Robbins!

So, the other day I was browsing YouTube jumping around between different TED Talks, and one of the suggested videos was one by Tony Robins that was titled change your life blueprint.

I swear I had seen this video before, but it still resonated with me so much. In Tony’s speech, he explains that the reason why we are unhappy with ourselves is because our vision of what our life should look like doesn’t match what it really is.

We have these ideas of what the perfect relationship is in our minds or the perfect job or our perfect body and we compare this mental vision to our reality. This disconnect makes us feel depressed, unsatisfied, and can cause great amounts of anxiety.

Is this true for you? I know in my life I create ideals of where I should be in my career, what kinds of relationships are in my life, how much money I should have, and what I should look like.

Tony’s resolution? Either change you mental blueprint of what your life should look like or change your life to meet the blueprint. Realize what blueprints in your life are unrealistic and create new ones or alter them so they can match your life.

One person Tony talked about in the speech was an athlete who wasn’t able to play anymore due to physical injuries. This athlete became depressed and hopeless. He said he would never be happy again unless he was able to play the sport again. In his blueprint, the only way he would make his family proud and support them was through playing this sport. It wasn’t until he realized that he could create a new path for himself that he was able to find happiness again. This wasn’t the one and only way he could find success in his life. It was time to create a new blueprint for himself.

Even when we try not to, we are constantly comparing ourselves whether it’s to that vision of what our life should be like or to others. In the end, this comparison rarely does anything for us unless we reflect when we catch ourselves doing it.

I want to end this post with a quote I saw this morning posted by Jhene Aiko:

So, what is your current “life blueprint” what adjustments will need to be made?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

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Happiness at Random

I’m sitting on the bus. My commute to class is the same as any other day. I drive to the bus stop, wait in the shelter, smile at those waiting near me. The bus arrives and I jump on. Say good morning to the driver and pick a seat. A normal day in my world. My favorite song comes on and I feel my heart beat fast. I imagine all my goals and ambitions, the friends I will see, the projects I will work on, the lives I want to change. I am so happy.

The next day the same song plays and it doesn’t feel the same.

Happiness is random.

Somedays we feel it in the smallest things- the first sip of coffee and in others we can’t seem to find it even when we know we should.

We don’t need extravagant occurrences to feel happiness.

We can feel happiness through a sound, a thought, a gesture. In the vastness of a body of water or in the page of a book.

What a strange but beautiful thing.

Last Day of 2018

This year feels like it did not happen.

2018. The year my life changed.

Those who know me know that I am constantly changing and finding new interests mostly because I’m a naturally curious person but this year was different. I found purpose.

I don’t usually like to write about myself, but here is what happened in 2018:

– I dove deeper into my major and made great relationships with my professors

– I made new friends who continue inspire me

– I created my blog extremely spontaneously and fell in love with it

– I became genuinely happy. Yes there were ups and downs but through bad relationships and experiences I found out how to truly take care of myself

– I became closer to my sister which has been one of the greatest blessings to me

So this is the time of the year where we look back at the year, reflect, then decide on resolutions, right? I keep thinking of the habits I have already implemented and think these “resolutions” are an addition to everything I’ve already added to my life.

So, 2019… I want it to look something like this:

Focus on growth and giving

– Volunteer once a month

– Eat one vegetable a day. Sounds kind of silly I know. Some weeks go by and I’m like when’s the last time I ate a vegetable? So even if it’s just one carrot or even a piece of an avocado this is my goal.

– Read daily. Hard copy. It can be one page but I do need to read more.

– Have a solid morning routine and learn to enjoy working out in the morning. Read, journal, and exercise. I keep hearing that the most productive days are when you get the hardest thing done first.

– Cook more. I am guilty of buying the same foods every time I grocery shop and not making real food. In 2019 I want to learn new recipes and cook one proper meal a week.

– Blog weekly!

-Love more

What’s your resolution?

Finding Your True Happiness

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I was talking to my aunt over the summer (feels like so long ago!) and one thing she said to me that has stuck was this:

“we don’t listen to ourselves enough”

I had never thought about this before. What do you mean by we don’t listen to ourselves enough? We are always with ourselves.

Only in the last month has this quote begun to make sense to me.

How often do you try to shut out certain feelings? Like you almost choose to believe these natural instincts don’t mean anything.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done this. I’ve stayed in situations too long because I chose to avoid that inner voice.

What if your gut feelings were actually trying to tell you something?

I choose to believe they are.

Listen to yourself!

What do you need in this moment? What was the first thing that came to your head? It must mean something.

For me, this has been spending time alone, taking the time to learn something new, and doing things that I am afraid of.

The more you listen to yourself, the more you will do things that align with your purpose. This alignment has brought me an abundance of happiness.

Don’t get me wrong- some days are harder than others, but on these days I realize that I just need to listen more.

Thank you for reading.

I wish you nothing but happiness and remember to just listen to yourself.

3 Girl Power Podcasts You Should Listen To

As promised,

here are my favorite (mostly) for women podcasts. I have many favorites, but here are the ones I’ve listened to most recently.

Some of these have been suggested by friends and other bloggers, so thank you!

The first: Earn Your Happy (the one I’m currently listening to)

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The second: Goal Digger

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The third: Girls Gone Boss

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Honestly, these three podcasts have pretty similar themes. They are guides to success and happiness. Each podcast is an interview with someone who followed their dreams and they talk about what their journey was like to get there. They offer great advice and insight. Super motivational and empowering. HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU LISTEN!

If you’re wondering when’s a good time to listen to a podcast here’s when I listen:

– during my commute to school

– on my daily walks (it makes them go by so quickly!)

– while working on projects

– when I need a boost of motivation

If you have any podcast suggestions, please send them my way.

I need new ones to listen to always.

Thank you for reading. Have an inspired day 🙂

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5 Benefits of having a Hobby

I used to dread the question in conversation, “so, what do you do for fun?”

Um. What do I do for fun? Let’s see… Uh. I would reflect to the prior week and go through my daily run of schedule. Did I even do anything fun? The better question, did I do anything fun that I wanted to share about in conversation?

*One minute later*

“Umm.. I like to work out but you know school takes up a lot of time so I’m usually pretty busy with that”

While school does take up a lot of my time, it realistically doesn’t take up the 168 hours I have in a week.

One day, I came to the conclusion that: I need a hobby!!

So, what are the benefits to having a hobby?

  1. Hobbies have no deadlines and are pressure-free. The time you set out to do your hobby is simply meant for you to get in touch with your creative side, that’s it.
  2. They can be a break from your daily routine- Sometimes you just need to do something that doesn’t involve work.
  3. They make you feel productive. Most hobbies involve creating something and at the end of the day it feels satisfying to know that you worked on a project that has a physical result.
  4. You can talk about it in conversation & won’t have to dread the “what do you do for fun” question- not only that, but you may find that you have more similar interests with the someone than you had originally thought
  5. It’s an opportunity to learn more about yourself. “What about this hobby is satisfying to me?” “What inspires my creativity?” Answering these questions can change your life outside of your hobby.

Remember- You don’t have to be good at something for it to be your hobby. You just have to enjoy it, and that’s the beautiful part about having a hobby!