To Do:

Go above and beyond

Give the love you wish to receive

Create things you wished you had in a time when you felt stuck.

Give someone the confidence to live their dreams.

Life is better when we strive for greatness.

Wake up in the morning on a mission. How will I impact others today? And most importantly how will I impact my own life?

Learn something new.

Take time to just be.

Take time to enjoy your morning coffee.

Make time to be silly and laugh about stupid stuff.

You create your day and your life.

If you were to replay scenes from your life, what do you want them to look like? What will your life be full of?

What’s the Greatest Thing You Can Do for Others?

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What’s the greatest thing you can do for others?

Become genuinely happy.

Here’s the secret though: becoming genuinely happy takes work. Are you willing to do it?

What habits are preventing you from becoming genuinely happy?

Here are some common habits I am familiar with and have noticed affect others’ happiness as well:

1. Being a pushover

2. Making decisions that don’t align with your goals

3. Not being true to yourself

4. Doing things only for instant gratification

5. Being selfish

Why do these habits affect us negatively? They prevent us from having genuine connections with ourselves which in turn makes it hard for us to connect with others. 

Think of a time when you truly felt good about yourself. Not just in a superficial way, but in a way that went deeper. You were excited to wake up and felt like you were in great alignment. Your conversations were not only great internally, but this alignment allowed for you to have great interactions with others. Every action and moment felt like it served a greater purpose. You felt connected to source. 

So, if you aren’t new to my blog, you know that I love to ask questions. I think asking yourself questions often is so important in understanding ourselves and why we behave in certain ways.

Here are some questions I want you to consider in figuring out how you will become genuinely happy:

How will I spend my mornings?

For me, mornings are sacred. I need time to wake up. If I don’t get this time, it affects my day and mood. The days I’m happiest are when I wake up and meditate. Don’t check my phone. Take time to pick out my outfit and plan my day. 

What will I do everyday to work toward my goals?

No matter who you are, working toward a goal is crucial in finding meaning in your everyday life. My goal is to lead a healthy lifestyle. I walk every single day. Walks are a good way for me to reflect and get in fresh air while getting steps in. I enjoy them too! What thing can you implement that will work with your schedule? Pick something you will enjoy doing and stick with it. Make it essential in your daily routine.

 What is/ will be my creative outlet?

We all need one. Is it music? Writing? Painting? Whatever it is, make sure you have a bit of it at least once a week. Do something simply for the fun of it. 

What will I do to stop myself from going back to old habits that prevent my happiness?

Figure out your triggers and check-in with yourself often. Why are you doing what you’re doing? I used to go out when I was sad or disappointed- not because I wanted to celebrate or have fun. In an attempt to escape reality, this habit only made me sadder. Now before I go out, I ask myself: why am I going out? And if it’s because I’m sad, I will decide to stay in and pamper myself. This has quick reflecting time has changed my life. Realize your own destructive behaviors, why you do them, and what you can do to change them for a healthier way of coping. 

What do you think? What makes you genuinely happy?

Thanks for reading!

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Finding Deeper Meaning

Like many who come into college, I started my academic career by taking “generals”. These are classes like sociology 1001, biology 1000, and intro to psychology.

In these courses, we skim the various topics that pertain to the overall subjects- like in biology we briefly went over definitions of evolution, genetics, and cell functions. Each topic covered spanned about two weeks long. We took an exam, forgot about what we learned, and then moved onto the next subject.

While these classes gave us a chance to explore the wide range of studies available to us, they lacked an in-depth understanding of why the lessons were meaningful and didn’t give us the ability to have long conversations about what we had learned.

It’s not until 3000-level subjects when we are able to completely unpack and learn deeply a certain aspect of an overarching subject. We take more time focusing on each lesson and usually have one big project that we work on the entire semester.

What does this have to do with deeper meaning?

Have you ever gone to a social gathering and realized you are engaging in surface level conversations with people?

These conversations sound like tape recordings “how are you?” “how’s work?” “what’s new?”

After a while, these conversations drain our energy. Why is that?

We crave connection and meaning.

Social gatherings honestly suck until you get into those unique conversations that you don’t engage with in your everyday life. They excite us and make us feel like we are really getting to know the person we are talking with.

These conversations usually occur once we get more comfortable and situated in an environment.

If you are like me, you want to give everyone attention at an event. You want to say hi to everyone, but sometimes engaging with just a few people allows for more memorable conversations plus once you have a really good conversation it makes it easier to engage in more.

Not only do I enjoy depth in social settings, but I find when I work on just one or two projects during the day, I feel much more satisfied. Focusing on finishing a book or an art project instead of doing small bits of everything is much more rewarding. Trying to pack too much in our day makes for a chaotic life.

So what I’m really trying to say is that engaging with more in-depth content is so much more interesting and fulfilling. When my day has at least one deep interaction or lesson, I feel peaceful and whole. When my days are full of lots of superficial content, I feel like something is missing. In some ways, this deeper meaning is achieved by simplicity. Less can be more.

What do you think?

Why Do We Fear Rejection?

How many times has the fear of rejection stopped you from doing something?

Why? Rejection really sucks!

Sorry, you didn’t get the job. I think we should just be friends. I don’t like your outfit/project/etc.

Ouch!

Here’s the thing- every single human has experienced some form of rejection.

Who experiences the most rejection? The people who put themselves out there the most.

Being curious about the effects of rejection and recommendations for recovering from it, I did some scholarly research.. on wikihow. Sorry professors who are reading!!

The wikihow article talks about how typically rejection causes people to take less risks. People who get rejected and don’t know how to cope properly end up making choices that are very risk adverse. They don’t want to feel that horrible feeling of rejection again! It makes total sense.

Sadly, the things we want the most cause us to take the greatest risks, so while we feel like we are protecting ourselves by not taking any, we are just preventing ourselves from living out our best lives. The result? A life of settling. Uninspiring and boring.

Think of playing poker. The greater of a risk you take the greater the reward you can potentially receive. If you play small, you will only get a small return. The same with taking risks. The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. You can’t win a race that you don’t enter. Yes it’s scary, but that’s why not everyone gets there.

The people who I’ve talked to who are the most successful against my standards have all experienced amounts of rejection that are greater than the average person. The difference? They continue to bounce back and don’t dwell on it too much. They keep focused on the goal. They have a different perspective on why they were rejected and continue to work hard for what they want. 

So while we can blame our rejection on not being good enough or on our flaws, this is actually the most counterproductive reaction we can have. 

Instead, we can look at rejection as a room for growth or realize that something wasn’t meant for us, but this doesn’t mean that we are any less worthy. It’s either not the right timing or not the right thing for us and that’s okay!

I want you to replace “I didn’t get ___ because I’m not smart enough” with “I did not get this because I didn’t have enough experience in ___ or knowledge in ___ so I will work hard on developing these skills.” This replaces hopeless feelings with actionable ones.

And sometimes something really is just not meant for us. In time, you will realize why. 

Please don’t let the fear of rejection stop you from chasing your dreams.

Here are some tips I found for coping with rejection:

  1. Talk to someone
  2. Be active- go for a walk, go to the gym, or clean
  3. Think about your successes
  4. Write it out
  5. Pamper yourself
  6. Take some time to recover (it’s normal to be sad)
  7. Don’t take it personally!
  8. Remember it’s not all about you (there are other factors as to why something didn’t work out)
  9. Be grateful
  10. Find the good in the situation

Thanks for reading. I hope this piece was helpful for anyone dealing with rejection.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO


I Asked 20 People What Their Life Philosophy Was. Here’s What They Said:

On a Sunday morning, I decided to ask everyone a pretty scary question, that if someone had asked me before this, I’m not sure I would’ve known what to say:

“What is your philosophy on life?”

I asked partly out of curiosity but mainly because I have so many amazing people in my life that I look up to and thought this was a perfect opportunity to learn from them.   

So, here it is. 20 Life Philosophies!

1

Work everyday. Then, there is no time to feel worried or have sorrow. Work and your job becomes your biggest supporter. I work everyday and I think that makes me happy. 

2

Have more than one source of happiness. Have many hobbies. Music, reading, entertainment- things you can lean on. Looking at it in an analytical way: not only does this thing make me happy, but does it contribute to my life? For example: playing guitar versus watching Netflix. Playing the guitar feels more rewarding because many things that feel rewarding require more work, but they are more worth it. 

Have low expectations. Don’t let life disappoint you. So if your car breaks down or your friend shows up late, it doesn’t matter.

Try to live more in the moment. Easier said than done but really just focusing on the now.

Connecting with others is a really good source of happiness. I call my friends on commutes. Listening to stories makes me feel connected.

Simplicity. The best sushi is just fish on rice. It’s about the quality.

I believe that happiness is not success related. In America, success is so rooted in happiness. Success is a biproduct of mindset.

Internal happiness through reflection. Journaling, meditation, walking.

Understanding the nature of human beings and how the world works is important too. Not everything is good. You can still do things to want to change the world for the better, but it is nothing you should distress over. You can understand why the world is the way it is, and try not to add to it (like pollution), but it’s human nature. You’re always going to meet mean people, but realize that’s how they were raised and it’s not inherently their fault. Doesn’t mean you should spend time with them but don’t judge them. 

3

I feel like my philosophy is kindness. So many people are so harsh with each other. Be good to the people around you. You never know what people are going through. We should all look out for each other. There’s so much hardship in the world like natural disasters and you never know who’s connected to what. Wealthier people have so many things they could do to better the world, but it usually ends up being the people who go through stuff who are the ones that give the most. For example, someone I was donating stuff to asked me if there were other people I could give to and handed me back some of the boxes I gave to them. 

4

Approach every situation and person with a clean slate. You don’t know what to expect. Everyone’s experience in life is different.

Find out who you are. It’s a long journey. It took me a few years to discover who I am, but I base my actions off of being a strong woman. 

5

Good Food=Good Life.

6

This one is something I have followed my whole adult life:
Always choose to work where there are people who will inspire you and that you know will make you a better person for knowing them. 
I’ve followed this rule since the day I left college and it has led to a career I have just loved and am incredibly grateful for. 

Another one I value is: Don’t be afraid to be the novice and to ask for help. It’s liberating to learn from others rather than compete with them to be right. 
And finally: When meeting new people, always ask them questions and show interest in them. People are typically flattered and will have a very good impression of you subconsciously as you made them feel so good. A bit sneaky but a good rule of thumb that gives you a simple and harmless advantage!

7

Do everything in life with joy and goodness from your heart. I think the most important thing to me is to do good and be happy while I live. I want to live with a lust for life, sprinkling positivity glitter everywhere I go and I want to be pure in my intentions- showing passion, compassion, and all of the kindness I can muster.

8

So, I know this sounds cliche, but my philosophy is “Live Your Best Life.” Essentially what this means to me is that you’re going to go through life doing what you think is best for you in the moment. What makes you happy at that point in time. Will it be best for you 50 years from now? Who knows. But, you’re always one decision away from a completely different life. So, live your best life. 

9

I would say everything should be guided by mutual respect, so acting in ways that respect yourself and make you feel empowered but also making sure that your actions are respectful of those around you and that you honor other people’s differences and life experiences. I think making big life decisions or even just every day interactions with people benefit from making sure it’s mutually respectful. 

10

For me, goals are important and achieving them are also very important to me. It brings me happiness in a way that’s different from going out or all of that. I feel like my hard work got me there. 

11

Never stop evolving even though you know you’re blessed. There is always room to be a better person and impact people’s lives in a positive way, no matter where you’re at in life!

12

Taking time to relax and recharge opens us up to more joy and meaning in life. 

13

I would say my philosophy on life would be to never give up. Never give up no matter how hard life and its situations might get. I say that because there is no blueprint to life and sometimes you may not know how to navigate and how to deal with situations but it all works itself out in the end as long as you keep trying

14

Life is an opportunity to create a story. Some people defy the laws of life and create great stories. I want to become one of the greatest story-tellers the world has ever seen. My dad always told me “you can only live to be 100 years, but your impact can live forever.”

15

I always try to go into situations with an open-mind and realizing that you are not always right. I know that everyone on this earth has a different mindset and approach towards how they want to live their lives. We each have different identities and cultures and we need to respect that about each other and not shut down other’s ideas right away. We need to make sure we hear them out and think radically about what they are saying.

I love the quote that goes, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” —Stephen R. Covey. But I truly think if we approach situations like this with an intent to understand and work together to fix problems, the world would be a lot better off in the future. 

16

Don’t stress too much about things. Live in the moment. 

17

Don’t be afraid to be yourself because that’s the only way you can be truly happy. Don’t care about what other people think. Treat everyone as kindly as you can because you never know when you will need them. You may have to depend on them some day. Treat everyone equally. 

18

Work hard but never forget to have fun. Create fun memories! As I get older, I realize more and more how important it is to have fun. 

Let things go that don’t matter!  Don’t let things get to you, life goes so fast. Remember to have fun and make memories. Stay in touch with friends, go out, do things you don’t normally do. Remember, you are only as old as you feel!  

19

I’d say mine is to love unconditionally. It doesn’t mean that you let people walk all over you, like boundaries need to be in place for healthy relationships, but loving people as they are and where they are is extremely healing not just for them but for myself too. I want to pour into people so that they’re not alone! 

20

Don’t invest 5 minutes if you’re not willing to invest 5 years. And work hard in silence, and let your success be the noise.


HUGE Thank you to everyone who shared their philosophy and to everyone who is reading. I hope these resonated with you as much as they did with me. I also want to take this chance to say how lucky I am to be surrounded with people who have such positive and thoughtful philosophies. Happy Sunday!

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Running Out of Things to Blog About?

It is so easy to write when you start your blog.

I remember the first two months of starting my blog, I was writing virtually every single day and sometimes even twice a day. I remember reading other bloggers posts saying things like “sorry I haven’t posted in a while, my new goal is to post once a week” I was like what! How could you not find things to write about?!

Then it happened- I got writer’s block. And the everyday struggle was thinking “What should I write about?”

Last week, I met with a freelance writer. She’s written for MSNBC, Refinery 29, and other very well-known publications.

When we got to chatting, I told her my problem:

“It was so easy writing when I started! But now I feel like writing less and less. I don’t even know what to talk about.”

Can you relate?

Well here’s the advice she gave me-

“Some of my favorite bloggers don’t even write everyday. They pick certain days to post. It’s about the consistency. Find the same day every week to post and find something unique to post about so people will be looking for your posts on that specific day every week.”

She showed me a blogger who literally just creates posts with links to her favorite articles every Tuesday. Like what?! I could do something like this. It sounds doable.

Find something that makes your blog unique and make it a weekly post.

I love this advice.

What do you do to ensure you have things to write about and don’t go MIA for months?

Let me know!

Thanks for reading.

Gymtimidation – Why Do We Get It?

Omg, I feel like everyone on the face of the planet has experienced this- Gymtimidation.

Why do we get it? I mean we go to the gym for noble reasons – self betterment, to boost our moods, or to work off stress. Shouldn’t we just be proud that we’re at the gym? 

It’s funny too because we’re all thinking that people are judging us when really we are just judging ourselves!

So confession – I went back to the gym yesterday (it had been almost a week). I used to go to the gym every single day with out pause. I had the same routine down- run on the elliptical for 30 minutes and then do some crunches and call it a day. I was scared to branch out and try something new because I had these workouts to a T. When summer came, my free school gym membership was no longer valid, and I did not go to the gym ONCE.

Now that school’s back- I’ve gone to the gym a few times, but I have mostly been doing youtube video workouts, which I highly recommend if you can hold yourself accountable that way. Anyways, when I work out at home I can do whatever I want. I’ll notice myself laughing when I look funny doing a workout a certain way, but continue to do it regardless.

Thinking about how freely and excited I am to workout at home, while I was at the gym yesterday, made me realize:

I’m going to the gym for me.

Oh that person thinks I run funny?

I think that too. It’s hilarious.

But I am here for me not to impress you.

I’m here to become the best version of myself.

I will push boundaries and enjoy this time at the gym

why?

Because this is for me. No one else.  

Thanks for reading. Do you and be less hard on yourself! When in doubt- laugh it out!

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