Why You Need to Stop This Mindset

If I lose 20 pounds then I’ll be happy

If I get a promotion then I’ll be successful

If I get this job then I’ll be good enough

If I get 10k followers then I will feel pretty

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!

Stop placing your worth, happiness, and success in the achievement of something in the future. When we do this, we basically tell ourselves that we cannot be happy until we get these things.

Think back to when you were a child. You’re in a grocery store trying to convince your parents to buy you a toy. You tell yourself that there is no possible way you will be happy unless they agree to buy you the thing. You have already decided that you will throw a fit if you don’t get what you want. This time you’re lucky- your parents agree to buy you it! Now you feel so happy… for a moment…. but it doesn’t last.

How many times have you placed your happiness on getting something that you look back on now and have to laugh? Turns out the American Girl Doll wasn’t the secret to our lasting happiness after all. Just like getting that new designer purse isn’t either.

How happy you are now is likely to determine how happy you will be in the future. It is fine to look forward to something. In fact, it’s totally healthy, but this is different than deciding you won’t be happy until something happens for you.

We aren’t the best at predicting what will happen in the future. Think about it. Who did you want to become when you were younger? What did you think you’d be doing right now 5 years ago? I can speak for myself and say that these are two very different things.

So decide today that you will be happy. Not when you get that new car or those new shoes. This only lasts so long until you are lusting over the next new thing.

Decide to be happy because you have goals and values that guide what you do. Be happy because you are in this moment right now and have made it this far. Be happy to be authentically you. And be happy that you are on a mission to change your life and the lives of others too.

What’s your Life Blueprint?

You can imagine my disbelief when my friend, who is embarking her motivational speaking career, told our friend group that she had never heard of Tony Robbins. Excuse me. What?!

When I was in high school, I discovered Pinterest. This was the beginning of my obsession with motivational quotes which translated into watching motivational videos on YouTube. I remember one of the first motivational speeches I watched on youtube; it was given by Tony Robbins. I remember watching this video and then watching all of his videos and thinking to myself that he truly had life figured out.

Fast-forward a few years and I’m listening to a podcast, called Earn Your Happy, where the hostess, Lori Harder, interviewed someone who was once one of Tony’s interns. Omg I thought. Tony Robbins!

So, the other day I was browsing YouTube jumping around between different TED Talks, and one of the suggested videos was one by Tony Robins that was titled change your life blueprint.

I swear I had seen this video before, but it still resonated with me so much. In Tony’s speech, he explains that the reason why we are unhappy with ourselves is because our vision of what our life should look like doesn’t match what it really is.

We have these ideas of what the perfect relationship is in our minds or the perfect job or our perfect body and we compare this mental vision to our reality. This disconnect makes us feel depressed, unsatisfied, and can cause great amounts of anxiety.

Is this true for you? I know in my life I create ideals of where I should be in my career, what kinds of relationships are in my life, how much money I should have, and what I should look like.

Tony’s resolution? Either change you mental blueprint of what your life should look like or change your life to meet the blueprint. Realize what blueprints in your life are unrealistic and create new ones or alter them so they can match your life.

One person Tony talked about in the speech was an athlete who wasn’t able to play anymore due to physical injuries. This athlete became depressed and hopeless. He said he would never be happy again unless he was able to play the sport again. In his blueprint, the only way he would make his family proud and support them was through playing this sport. It wasn’t until he realized that he could create a new path for himself that he was able to find happiness again. This wasn’t the one and only way he could find success in his life. It was time to create a new blueprint for himself.

Even when we try not to, we are constantly comparing ourselves whether it’s to that vision of what our life should be like or to others. In the end, this comparison rarely does anything for us unless we reflect when we catch ourselves doing it.

I want to end this post with a quote I saw this morning posted by Jhene Aiko:

So, what is your current “life blueprint” what adjustments will need to be made?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Finding Deeper Meaning

Like many who come into college, I started my academic career by taking “generals”. These are classes like sociology 1001, biology 1000, and intro to psychology.

In these courses, we skim the various topics that pertain to the overall subjects- like in biology we briefly went over definitions of evolution, genetics, and cell functions. Each topic covered spanned about two weeks long. We took an exam, forgot about what we learned, and then moved onto the next subject.

While these classes gave us a chance to explore the wide range of studies available to us, they lacked an in-depth understanding of why the lessons were meaningful and didn’t give us the ability to have long conversations about what we had learned.

It’s not until 3000-level subjects when we are able to completely unpack and learn deeply a certain aspect of an overarching subject. We take more time focusing on each lesson and usually have one big project that we work on the entire semester.

What does this have to do with deeper meaning?

Have you ever gone to a social gathering and realized you are engaging in surface level conversations with people?

These conversations sound like tape recordings “how are you?” “how’s work?” “what’s new?”

After a while, these conversations drain our energy. Why is that?

We crave connection and meaning.

Social gatherings honestly suck until you get into those unique conversations that you don’t engage with in your everyday life. They excite us and make us feel like we are really getting to know the person we are talking with.

These conversations usually occur once we get more comfortable and situated in an environment.

If you are like me, you want to give everyone attention at an event. You want to say hi to everyone, but sometimes engaging with just a few people allows for more memorable conversations plus once you have a really good conversation it makes it easier to engage in more.

Not only do I enjoy depth in social settings, but I find when I work on just one or two projects during the day, I feel much more satisfied. Focusing on finishing a book or an art project instead of doing small bits of everything is much more rewarding. Trying to pack too much in our day makes for a chaotic life.

So what I’m really trying to say is that engaging with more in-depth content is so much more interesting and fulfilling. When my day has at least one deep interaction or lesson, I feel peaceful and whole. When my days are full of lots of superficial content, I feel like something is missing. In some ways, this deeper meaning is achieved by simplicity. Less can be more.

What do you think?

Don’t Give Up

 

I know it’s hard

but don’t give up.

Some days taste like success-

others feel like pure failure

don’t give up.

you’ve climbed halfway up the mountain

but you’ve slipped down a couple of rocks

don’t give up.

Don’t throw away the table because it is dirty,

clean it.

Take care of your dreams,

they’re fragile-

don’t give up.

Look down,

you’ve come so far,

would you give away a year of growth

because of a few days of failure.

I hope not.

Get up.

Be proud of who you are

and what you will accomplish tomorrow.

You were made to do great things.

 

 

 

Interview with a High-End Fashion Designer

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Yuri owns “Simply Me by Grace” a high-end clothing collection made in Italy. Her clothes are made from quality and are up to trend. Already interested in learning more? Check out her website and give her a follow on Facebook @simplymebygrace

So, with out further ado.. the interview!

What sparked your interest in being in the fashion industry?

I’ve always known that I wanted to work in a clothing store. I started my first job at forever 21 when I was 18. After my first job I loved it.

What has been your inspiration?

Everything I do is for God. He is who I look up to and I am where I am today with my business because of him. This is why my business has Grace in the name; it is by his Grace this company came to pass. He has guided me every step of the way. “For I know the plans I have for you…” Jeremiah 29:11. That’s how it all began for me.

What’s a Fun Fact About you?

I like to go to worship concerts, and jump like a little girl. (Lol. I love it!)

What advice can you give someone who would like to join the fashion industry?

Follow your heart and figure out what your true passion is and give it your 110%. Always be a leader! Always stand out no matter what you do. Be the person that sets a trend. Don’t be the one that follows it. Always go against the wind, that’s how great designers are born!

Thank you Yuri for sharing your advice and inspiration. 

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

9 Questions to Ask When Creating a Style

I used to make a huge effort to keep up with the latest trends. I didn’t particularly like the clothes, but I bought them so it seemed like I was up to date with fashion. I would shop almost every single weekend. Then, I would wear the clothes for a few weeks and they would never leave my closet again.

My life changed when I was listening to an interview with Ralph Lauren, who was talking about simple and timeless looks. I had an a-ha moment and thought to some people I knew who’ve had the same style for years. It just works for them. Have you ever met someone like that?

Even though, yes, once in a while I want some inexpensive, fun thing to go out in, realistically I’m spending the same if not more buying cheap and quick trending clothes than I would be buying well-made clothes that I would enjoy for a long time.

Another hard part for me was realizing what looks good on someone else may not look good on me. And that’s okay! I used to see other girls wearing cute things and would try to find similar things regardless of how they looked on me. What a waste. If I didn’t like how it looked in the fitting room but just liked the style, how can I expect to wear it out of the fitting room? I guess they looked good in my closet.

So to the questions- but before that, I highly suggest you look through your closet first, organize your clothes into categories, and then take inventory what you already have.

Then ask yourself this-

How would I describe the style of my clothing right now?

What Celebrities do I admire?

What colors do I feel best in?

What types of clothing compliment my body the best?

What colors compliment my skin tones?

What outfits do I feel most confident in?

What clothes do I have that stood the test of time?

How would I want someone to describe my style? (in 5 or less words)

What are my favorite materials?

What do you guys think? If all fails- find ideas on interests! Never underestimate the power of Pinterest boards.

Anyways, have a happy & marvelous Thursday 🙂

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Everything You Should Know Before Getting Eyelash Extensions

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I remember when I first heard about eyelash extensions- it was about three years ago when I worked at an overnight summer camp. I was on Pinterest looking at makeup inspiration (which I hadn’t worn any all summer) and I saw one girl who had amazing lashes. I showed my English coworkers, at the time, and said something along the lines of “I wish my eyelashes looked like that- I cannot put on fake eyelashes for my life”. Then one of them asked me, “have you heard of eyelash extensions?”

From there, all I thought about was booking my appointment for right when I got back home from camp. I couldn’t wait to have glamorous lashes with no effort. I began to look at prices- at this time no one really did eyelash extensions in the states and the only salon I could find near my house charged 300 dollars!! When I told my coworkers this, they said that was absurd. In England, they only charge 30. No fairrrrr. I thought. I should just take a trip to England to get my eyelashes done. 

Since my discovery of lash extensions, I’ve gone to three different ladies to do them for me. Through these experiences, I’ve learned that not all lashes are equal! or I should say- not all lash products.

Prices range a good amount and different people carry different lash products. I would say the more expensive lashes are usually worth it. They look more realistic, usually last longer, and don’t tangle as much as cheap ones do. I guess it comes down to preference- and people get lashes for different reasons.

I would recommend you look at the work that the person you are going to has done before going. I think a lot of people do tacky jobs (my opinion!!).

The woman I go to now lets you pick a variety of options- which I like. She offers different lash arrangements and you can pick between gorgeous, cute, and sexy lash looks. She also has different dimensions for lashes. So the picture you see above is from when I got the 2-D lashes. MY FAVORITE. I just love when they are thicker. Lol.

Anyways, that’s my experience with lashes and I want to share some pros and cons of having lashes:

Pros:

– spending less time doing makeup

– confidence boost

– don’t have to apply fake lashes anymore

– looking more photogenic

– wearing less makeup

– compliments

Cons:

-moolaaaaa

– maintenance (go in every 2-3 weeks)

– having to be more conscious of rubbing your eyes

– no oil based makeup removers (if you want the lashes to last a while)

– limited time in saunas and in water

– losing your real lashes overtime

– fallout and gaps in lashes look funny

 

Let me know if you have any question about lashes! I would be happy to answer them 🙂

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