Falling in Love with an Idea

Have you ever fallen in love with the idea of something? My guess is that you probably have.

We fall in love with the idea of a person, a lifestyle, a career.

We want what we can’t have. Why? We are quick to assume that because we can’t achieve something, we aren’t worthy of having it. This means we fall in love with ideas because we believe they will make us feel worthy. So what do we do? We work to change ourselves in order to fit into someone who is. This can mean changing our values, working hard to please others, or doing things that we actually don’t like.

There’s nothing wrong with self-betterment. In fact, it’s great to have goals to work toward. However, it is important to realize why we have the goals we have. If we have them in order to receive external rewards, it might be a good idea to re-evaluate. The only outcomes and feelings we can control are our own.

Imagine that your goal is to get a job to impress others. You work tirelessly to become qualified for this position and once you receive it, you get the response you wanted- people are congratulating you and some are even calling you successful. What a feeling! A month later, this is no longer the topic of conversation, and you are left with a job that you don’t even like.

One of my good friends once told me, “I used to work so hard to prove myself to others until one day I realized that no one actually cares.” He’s right. When you think about it like this, you start making decisions for yourself. What actually makes YOU feel satisfied? If no one was watching you and you had nothing to prove, how would you behave? What makes you happy with out other people’s approval?

What about when it comes to relationships? A relationship ends, and we fantasize how great our partner was. We begin to tell ourselves that if we just improve this or that, that we might be worthy of their love. We focus on becoming better, but we do it for the wrong reasons. You do not have to prove yourself to this person. Take all the good that you see in this person, and start believing those things about yourself. You do not have to win anyone over.

Win yourself over.

Stop falling in love with ideas, fall in love with yourself.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Stop Passion Searching

Haven’t found your true passion yet? Guess what? it’s okay.

Yesterday morning I got back into my old morning routine: I didn’t press snooze, prepared food for the day, and went for a long walk while listening to an inspirational podcast.

The podcast episode: The Curiosity-Driven Life (on SuperSoul Conversations obviously)

The episode featured the author of Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert. Right away she tells us to stop searching for our passions. What? I thought she was crazy, but when we hear something controversial it makes us want to learn more, right?

She explained how she used to preach “follow your passion” until one day she received a Facebook message from a woman saying she didn’t have one, and that her speeches actually made her feel worse. It had never occurred to her that not everyone knew what their passion was their whole life as she had.

This challenged her view on life and people and now she has a new belief and speech;

There are hammers and there are hummingbirds.

Gilbert describes herself as being a hammer. Since kindergarten she’s known that she loves to write and has been writing ever since. Do you know people like this in your life? They have one true passion and have stuck with it since you’ve known them. I’ve always been envious of these types of people.

The other type of person she describes as being hummingbirds. I absolutely fall into this category. She said this type of person is always trying new things and exploring. She brings up her friend who has had several career paths in her life. If this is you, her advice is instead of searching for your “one true passion” just follow your curiosities. This takes the pressure off of having to stick to one thing. When we do this, we can enjoy and learn at our own free will. It’s not as serious as we have previously made it to be.

The beauty of a hummingbird

Hummingbirds cross-pollinate. As someone who has experienced and tried many things, you have the ability to take what you’ve learned in one place and apply elsewhere. Experience is wisdom.

In the podcast, Gilbert says that she is the person many people come to for counseling and advice. But she says that when she is in a rut, she calls her hummingbird friend. Her friend has lived through so much that she does not judge anyone for where they are in their life. And because she has experienced so much, she has wisdom to draw from many places to give great advice.

I really love that.

Are you a hammer or a hummingbird?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Becoming More Present

To be happy is to be present.

To be fully in the moment.

Today we are drowned with distractions.

Text and social media notifications.

We miss that one part of the sentence.

Unaware that the person sitting next to us is desperately needing our presence in the moment.

Become present.

Life is way too short.

Yesterday has already happened.

Tomorrow is not here yet.

Today will never happen again.

Enjoy it, embrace it, live it.


This Advice Has Changed My Life

About a week ago, I had a conversation with my mother. I told her that I had been feeling unfulfilled for days.

I believe we share our feelings with people for two reasons: either we just need someone to listen or we hope they will give us a perspective that might change us.

A week ago my mother said this:

“In life, we need to see things as rituals. From the moment we wake up and make our beds to the moment we shut our eyes at night. Make doing the dishes and folding your laundry a ritual even getting dressed in the morning. Make these things sacred to you.”

You know when someone says something to you and you feel sparks? This was one of those moments.

So often we get caught up in worrying about our future or beating ourselves up about the past that we forget to be in the present moment.

We resort to thinking happiness can only be found in large achievements or in the compliments we receive when really we can find it in combing our hair or taking the time to make our beds.

I believe this is why people get addicted to working out. Exercise is a great tool to help us focus. Thats why people call it “being in the zone.” That “zone” is the place where you are truly in the present.

Since you might be wondering, here’s how my life has changed since I received this piece of advice:

I’ve been much more aware and intentional. I find happiness in folding my favorite shirt or in packing my lunch for the day with foods that will nourish my body.

I’ve been less frustrated, anxious, and angry. I will be the first to admit I have terrible road range and can’t stand when people ask me to repeat myself because they didn’t hear what I said. Since I am only here right now, why would I perceive this moment as in my way or annoying when I can see it for what it is and just breathe? There is no real hurry and even if there was, our anxious mental state would not make it any better. Approach situations with a grateful heart.

I’ve added a new ritual. I exercise in the morning. It is now built in my schedule for an hour. It starts my day out with intention and brings me into a focused mindset. I pack my gym clothes the night before and plan my outfit. I lay them side by side so that when I wake up, I am ready to go and I am thankful.

I’m continuing to learn more. Oprah’s Super Soul Podcast has a series right now with Eckart Tolle who preaches about this idea of being in the moment. I highly recommend you take a listen.

Thank you for reading. Please let me know your thoughts.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Trust the Timing of Your Life

Have you ever broken your phone, gotten rejected from a job, or been late to an important date because of traffic and thought why me god?

Let’s face it- no matter how good of people we are or how much we prepare for our futures, there will always be room for error and disappointment.

What about karma?!

Yes we still must remember that what we do onto others will be done to us in some form or another. Bad things will still happen.

Here’s the thing though- whether you see it now or not, it’s all adding to a bigger picture. There is a plan for you.

We try to force what happens in our lives. Quickly we realize that we cannot. Trust the timing of your life.

What lesson is the universe trying to teach you that is going to prepare you for the next chapter of your life?

So often people tell me stories of what they imagined their lives looking like versus what they ended up looking like. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve been told the same thing- I never really planned for this to happen. My life just pulled me in this direction and somehow the dots just connected.

How amazing is that? If you are going through something right now it could be adding new dots for you. An ability to empathize with more people. A source of motivation to change the system. An idea for a new project.

What does trust the timing of your life mean?

Be patient. Breathe. Have faith. You are not alone. You are connected to a greater purpose. Believe it.

So if you wanted something badly, gave it all you had, yet it still didn’t work out, it just means it’s not for you. Something greater is ahead.

Trust the timing of your life.


Why We Need to Remember to Take Baby Steps

Would you expect a baby to be able to run a marathon?

I really hope you answered no.

Have you ever been at your desk or laid in bed at night thinking about all the things you had to get done? Picturing your to-do list can be really and truly scary.

I need to email ____ …Oh and I have to finish these assignments.. I forgot to call___… The application for ___ is due tomorrow… AHHHH !!!

This self-talk looks almost identical to the one I replay internally nearly everyday. You too?

Usually when I have these overwhelming feelings, I look for inspiration. Sometimes I find it and sometimes I don’t.

Lucky for me and those reading, this time I found exactly what I needed to hear.

I came across a TedX called “How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals.” Please watch it if you haven’t already done so.

The speaker in this video has achieved unimaginable things. He forced himself into the Guinness Book of World Records for something that previously wasn’t a topic in it. He participated in the most difficult half marathon, learned how to speak German, read 50 books, hiked 33 trails in a year, and the list goes on.

This guy is super accomplished, right?

What’s his advice? Little steps.

How can you climb to the top of the mountain if you don’t take the first step?

How can you read 50 books if you don’t read the first chapter, sentence, word?

He suggests that instead of drastically changing our routines and habits that we add small changes to get there.

To learn German, he dedicated his commute time in which he usually listened to music, and switched the audio to the lessons.

What small actions can you make to bring you closer to your goals or to crossing off everything on that to-do list?

Don’t let the height of the mountain intimidate you. Take your next step and focus. Progress is still progress.

You won’t get everything done if you don’t start by getting the first thing done.

Baby steps.

If You’re Bad at Remembering History, Read This.

You can teach me about the same war twenty times and a day later I will have already forgotten about it.

Does this sound like you?

Yesterday I was at the airport waiting to board when a woman across from me asked: “so where are you traveling to?” Quite honestly I wasn’t in the mood to chat. I had an early flight that morning and this was my connecting one. Regardless, I told her and we began to chat about our travels. She was around her mid 40s – early 50s. Her shortish golden hair reminded me of my grandmother’s.

After around ten minutes, the plane began to board. Turns out, I was sitting behind her. We talked about how she met her husband on a beach in Spain years ago. She described how they are still madly in love even after having three kids. Although that is nowhere near where my life is at right now, I felt as though we were very similar.

When we got off of the plane, we were going through airport security and she began to tell me about some Dutch history. Before she went any further, I had to tell her: “I’m going to be honest I love history. I think it’s fascinating.. but I never remember it. I’ve seen several castles and battle grounds in Ireland and I couldn’t tell you one fact about them.” She laughed at me. I felt a bit embarrassed. Then she said this:

“I’m bad at remembering history too!”

“Really, so how do you know all of these facts?”

“I read children’s books”

“Do they actually help?”

” Yes, because it’s more important to understand the big picture before trying to remember the small details. I read a children’s book called the history of France before I went there. My friend and I brought the book with us and matched the illustrated pictures to the things we saw while we were there.”

“Where have you been my whole life! Haha”

“Also there’s a lot of movies that can help with that too.”

Our conversation went further, but I had never thought of doing this. Children’s books have to explain things in simple terms. Only once you get something in simple terms can you dive deeper and learn more.

This advice has really and truly changed my life. Time to go buy some children’s books.

Have you tried this before?

XO,

YOUNGCOCO