This Advice Has Changed My Life

About a week ago, I had a conversation with my mother. I told her that I had been feeling unfulfilled for days.

I believe we share our feelings with people for two reasons: either we just need someone to listen or we hope they will give us a perspective that might change us.

A week ago my mother said this:

“In life, we need to see things as rituals. From the moment we wake up and make our beds to the moment we shut our eyes at night. Make doing the dishes and folding your laundry a ritual even getting dressed in the morning. Make these things sacred to you.”

You know when someone says something to you and you feel sparks? This was one of those moments.

So often we get caught up in worrying about our future or beating ourselves up about the past that we forget to be in the present moment.

We resort to thinking happiness can only be found in large achievements or in the compliments we receive when really we can find it in combing our hair or taking the time to make our beds.

I believe this is why people get addicted to working out. Exercise is a great tool to help us focus. Thats why people call it “being in the zone.” That “zone” is the place where you are truly in the present.

Since you might be wondering, here’s how my life has changed since I received this piece of advice:

I’ve been much more aware and intentional. I find happiness in folding my favorite shirt or in packing my lunch for the day with foods that will nourish my body.

I’ve been less frustrated, anxious, and angry. I will be the first to admit I have terrible road range and can’t stand when people ask me to repeat myself because they didn’t hear what I said. Since I am only here right now, why would I perceive this moment as in my way or annoying when I can see it for what it is and just breathe? There is no real hurry and even if there was, our anxious mental state would not make it any better. Approach situations with a grateful heart.

I’ve added a new ritual. I exercise in the morning. It is now built in my schedule for an hour. It starts my day out with intention and brings me into a focused mindset. I pack my gym clothes the night before and plan my outfit. I lay them side by side so that when I wake up, I am ready to go and I am thankful.

I’m continuing to learn more. Oprah’s Super Soul Podcast has a series right now with Eckart Tolle who preaches about this idea of being in the moment. I highly recommend you take a listen.

Thank you for reading. Please let me know your thoughts.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Trust the Timing of Your Life

Have you ever broken your phone, gotten rejected from a job, or been late to an important date because of traffic and thought why me god?

Let’s face it- no matter how good of people we are or how much we prepare for our futures, there will always be room for error and disappointment.

What about karma?!

Yes we still must remember that what we do onto others will be done to us in some form or another. Bad things will still happen.

Here’s the thing though- whether you see it now or not, it’s all adding to a bigger picture. There is a plan for you.

We try to force what happens in our lives. Quickly we realize that we cannot. Trust the timing of your life.

What lesson is the universe trying to teach you that is going to prepare you for the next chapter of your life?

So often people tell me stories of what they imagined their lives looking like versus what they ended up looking like. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve been told the same thing- I never really planned for this to happen. My life just pulled me in this direction and somehow the dots just connected.

How amazing is that? If you are going through something right now it could be adding new dots for you. An ability to empathize with more people. A source of motivation to change the system. An idea for a new project.

What does trust the timing of your life mean?

Be patient. Breathe. Have faith. You are not alone. You are connected to a greater purpose. Believe it.

So if you wanted something badly, gave it all you had, yet it still didn’t work out, it just means it’s not for you. Something greater is ahead.

Trust the timing of your life.


Why We Need to Remember to Take Baby Steps

Would you expect a baby to be able to run a marathon?

I really hope you answered no.

Have you ever been at your desk or laid in bed at night thinking about all the things you had to get done? Picturing your to-do list can be really and truly scary.

I need to email ____ …Oh and I have to finish these assignments.. I forgot to call___… The application for ___ is due tomorrow… AHHHH !!!

This self-talk looks almost identical to the one I replay internally nearly everyday. You too?

Usually when I have these overwhelming feelings, I look for inspiration. Sometimes I find it and sometimes I don’t.

Lucky for me and those reading, this time I found exactly what I needed to hear.

I came across a TedX called “How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals.” Please watch it if you haven’t already done so.

The speaker in this video has achieved unimaginable things. He forced himself into the Guinness Book of World Records for something that previously wasn’t a topic in it. He participated in the most difficult half marathon, learned how to speak German, read 50 books, hiked 33 trails in a year, and the list goes on.

This guy is super accomplished, right?

What’s his advice? Little steps.

How can you climb to the top of the mountain if you don’t take the first step?

How can you read 50 books if you don’t read the first chapter, sentence, word?

He suggests that instead of drastically changing our routines and habits that we add small changes to get there.

To learn German, he dedicated his commute time in which he usually listened to music, and switched the audio to the lessons.

What small actions can you make to bring you closer to your goals or to crossing off everything on that to-do list?

Don’t let the height of the mountain intimidate you. Take your next step and focus. Progress is still progress.

You won’t get everything done if you don’t start by getting the first thing done.

Baby steps.

If You’re Bad at Remembering History, Read This.

You can teach me about the same war twenty times and a day later I will have already forgotten about it.

Does this sound like you?

Yesterday I was at the airport waiting to board when a woman across from me asked: “so where are you traveling to?” Quite honestly I wasn’t in the mood to chat. I had an early flight that morning and this was my connecting one. Regardless, I told her and we began to chat about our travels. She was around her mid 40s – early 50s. Her shortish golden hair reminded me of my grandmother’s.

After around ten minutes, the plane began to board. Turns out, I was sitting behind her. We talked about how she met her husband on a beach in Spain years ago. She described how they are still madly in love even after having three kids. Although that is nowhere near where my life is at right now, I felt as though we were very similar.

When we got off of the plane, we were going through airport security and she began to tell me about some Dutch history. Before she went any further, I had to tell her: “I’m going to be honest I love history. I think it’s fascinating.. but I never remember it. I’ve seen several castles and battle grounds in Ireland and I couldn’t tell you one fact about them.” She laughed at me. I felt a bit embarrassed. Then she said this:

“I’m bad at remembering history too!”

“Really, so how do you know all of these facts?”

“I read children’s books”

“Do they actually help?”

” Yes, because it’s more important to understand the big picture before trying to remember the small details. I read a children’s book called the history of France before I went there. My friend and I brought the book with us and matched the illustrated pictures to the things we saw while we were there.”

“Where have you been my whole life! Haha”

“Also there’s a lot of movies that can help with that too.”

Our conversation went further, but I had never thought of doing this. Children’s books have to explain things in simple terms. Only once you get something in simple terms can you dive deeper and learn more.

This advice has really and truly changed my life. Time to go buy some children’s books.

Have you tried this before?

XO,

YOUNGCOCO

Why You Need to Stop This Mindset

If I lose 20 pounds then I’ll be happy

If I get a promotion then I’ll be successful

If I get this job then I’ll be good enough

If I get 10k followers then I will feel pretty

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!

Stop placing your worth, happiness, and success in the achievement of something in the future. When we do this, we basically tell ourselves that we cannot be happy until we get these things.

Think back to when you were a child. You’re in a grocery store trying to convince your parents to buy you a toy. You tell yourself that there is no possible way you will be happy unless they agree to buy you the thing. You have already decided that you will throw a fit if you don’t get what you want. This time you’re lucky- your parents agree to buy you it! Now you feel so happy… for a moment…. but it doesn’t last.

How many times have you placed your happiness on getting something that you look back on now and have to laugh? Turns out the American Girl Doll wasn’t the secret to our lasting happiness after all. Just like getting that new designer purse isn’t either.

How happy you are now is likely to determine how happy you will be in the future. It is fine to look forward to something. In fact, it’s totally healthy, but this is different than deciding you won’t be happy until something happens for you.

We aren’t the best at predicting what will happen in the future. Think about it. Who did you want to become when you were younger? What did you think you’d be doing right now 5 years ago? I can speak for myself and say that these are two very different things.

So decide today that you will be happy. Not when you get that new car or those new shoes. This only lasts so long until you are lusting over the next new thing.

Decide to be happy because you have goals and values that guide what you do. Be happy because you are in this moment right now and have made it this far. Be happy to be authentically you. And be happy that you are on a mission to change your life and the lives of others too.

Interview with a Gamer

I know virtually nothing about video-gaming. The other day I tried on a VR headset for the first time and was instantly in awe. I became eager to learn more about what gaming means to people who play often. So, what’s better than interviewing someone I know who is an avid gamer? With out further ado- interview with a gamer.

How long have you been playing video games, when did you start, and why?

I was like 3 when I first started playing video games. I remember playing in my basement at my house in rhode island. I would play Wii bowling and tennis. Then when I moved to Minnesota, I had an experience where I rented a game from blockbuster called call of duty 2 for the wii. It was a three day rental and I accidentally forgot to tell my parents that it was over due. So I had the game for 5 days, but when we came to return it the place was closed. Basically, I got to keep the game so thats really what started gaming for me. Yup thats where it all started it was a big mistake.

After playing call of duty 2, what kept you playing video games? why do you like it?

I kept playing video games after because mostly I found it very interesting with story lines and characters and I like beating games, saving people; its like a movie where you are in control. After a while of having the wii, I got a second-hand xbox 360.. that really started my gaming addiction! It was a kinnect also.

How long would you say it took you to get good and used to the new controllers?

For a while, it was just confusing to me. I would say I caught on quickly though. After 3 or 4 months. I began to understand the controls. Playing with friends made it easier too. By the end of 1 or 2 years, I would say I could play with the controller behind my head.

So now you have been playing with VR, how would you say that experience has been for you?

It’s been very interesting. There’s been hard points like fixing things. We’ve had lots of technical issues with the model I use- the htc vive original. A big part of liking technology is having to fix technology. So we’ve had to fix the controllers and headsets. Both of their warranties are over. If the parts are seriously broken we’re going to have to pay to fix them. Other than that though I think I’ve made good friends through VR which makes it worth it.

What advice would you give to new gamers?

The only advice is if you want to get better.. you gotta put a lot of hours into that game, man. Just keep practicing. If you want to get good, you got to put the time into it. Trying to go semi-pro isn’t easy but it would be a fun way to make money.

On that note, what are your short and long-term goals for video gaming, if you have any?

My short-term goal is to hopefully get better at a game called PubG and to get better with my team for tournaments and stuff. My long-term goal is to get into professional tournaments and stream full-time.

Who are your favorite gamers? What makes a good gamer?

Good question.. my favorite gamer would be people who stream on Twitch a lot of them were professional at one point. My two favorite would be Shroud and Choco Taco- very strange names I know. I like them cause they’re fun and they’re always in a good mood. Not to mention that they’re good! What makes a good gamer is having the ability not to get angry. Not even when you lose. Just be chill.

What’s the most challenging part of gaming?

The most challenging part, if you do online gaming, is overcoming better players, adapting to new environments, and getting a sense for things. Communication is super important with others and yourself. You need to notice things around you. Having a sharp mind is super important in remembering where things are.

What do you think the future of gaming is? Any trends you see?

I see AR becoming a huge thing because I’ve tried it in progress and its ridiculous. You can reach out and truly experience things. Just ridiculous! I feel like first person shooters won’t be a thing anymore there’s a big trend of survival games like “Rust” I would say theres millions of people playing. The servers get up to the thousands.

Are there any computer games you enjoy or see popularity in outside of controller games?

Yes, definitely competitive style games. I don’t think you see as many on xbox or controller games. Like counter strike “CSGO”, PubG, FortNite are very popular. There’s some also some top-down games like World of War Craft. Call of Duty and Halo are on both Xbox and computer but are also pretty popular. There’s money to be made in competitive gaming.. a lot.. and fame!

I hope you enjoyed this interview- I know I learned a lot 🙂

Oh and follow this gamer’s twitch account: RebootFailed

What’s your Life Blueprint?

You can imagine my disbelief when my friend, who is embarking her motivational speaking career, told our friend group that she had never heard of Tony Robbins. Excuse me. What?!

When I was in high school, I discovered Pinterest. This was the beginning of my obsession with motivational quotes which translated into watching motivational videos on YouTube. I remember one of the first motivational speeches I watched on youtube; it was given by Tony Robbins. I remember watching this video and then watching all of his videos and thinking to myself that he truly had life figured out.

Fast-forward a few years and I’m listening to a podcast, called Earn Your Happy, where the hostess, Lori Harder, interviewed someone who was once one of Tony’s interns. Omg I thought. Tony Robbins!

So, the other day I was browsing YouTube jumping around between different TED Talks, and one of the suggested videos was one by Tony Robins that was titled change your life blueprint.

I swear I had seen this video before, but it still resonated with me so much. In Tony’s speech, he explains that the reason why we are unhappy with ourselves is because our vision of what our life should look like doesn’t match what it really is.

We have these ideas of what the perfect relationship is in our minds or the perfect job or our perfect body and we compare this mental vision to our reality. This disconnect makes us feel depressed, unsatisfied, and can cause great amounts of anxiety.

Is this true for you? I know in my life I create ideals of where I should be in my career, what kinds of relationships are in my life, how much money I should have, and what I should look like.

Tony’s resolution? Either change you mental blueprint of what your life should look like or change your life to meet the blueprint. Realize what blueprints in your life are unrealistic and create new ones or alter them so they can match your life.

One person Tony talked about in the speech was an athlete who wasn’t able to play anymore due to physical injuries. This athlete became depressed and hopeless. He said he would never be happy again unless he was able to play the sport again. In his blueprint, the only way he would make his family proud and support them was through playing this sport. It wasn’t until he realized that he could create a new path for himself that he was able to find happiness again. This wasn’t the one and only way he could find success in his life. It was time to create a new blueprint for himself.

Even when we try not to, we are constantly comparing ourselves whether it’s to that vision of what our life should be like or to others. In the end, this comparison rarely does anything for us unless we reflect when we catch ourselves doing it.

I want to end this post with a quote I saw this morning posted by Jhene Aiko:

So, what is your current “life blueprint” what adjustments will need to be made?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

YOUNGCOCO