Loving without Resentment

Uncategorized

Do it with love or don’t do it.

“They owe me for this”

“I’m only doing this because I have to, but I really don’t want to”

If these are your first thoughts when doing something for someone else, reconsider why you are doing it in the first place. You are not doing anyone favors by carrying out actions with weak intentions and feeling salty after.

Trust your yes and no’s

I used to cancel my plans with myself to please others, and when they didn’t do the same for me, it felt like betrayal. The truth is, we should honor people keeping their promises to themselves. Once we can trust ourselves, we can trust others. Do what you need to get done first and respect that others should be doing the same.

If you are feeling like you have sacrificed your well-being or goals for someone else and it’s not being reciprocated, re-consider your priorities because at the end of the day if you are not fulfilled in what your life is, no one else can do that for you either.

Love is truth

Are you being honest and open about your feelings?

Vulnerability will bring us closer to the ones we love. Trust your feelings. Express them with the best intentions. The more we try to hide our feelings, the farther we become from the ones around us. Speak your truth. Be authentic. Watch your relationships flourish.

Developing a Win-Win Perspective

Mindfulness, Uncategorized

If I get the job, I win and if I don’t, I’m still winning.

What if your inner talk sounded like this?

How much happier would you be when things didn’t go your way?

The other day I had plans with a friend. We had the plans set in stone for weeks, and last minute, they canceled. I was bummed. It felt like a loss. I sat in bed thinking that my day was ruined. I sat in my misery and felt frustration fill my body. Then I paused and thought: how can I see this from a different perspective? I realized it had been weeks since I had alone time. I was going to make this a “me” day. I did all the things I had put off while being so busy entertaining friends and working. It was a win-win.

Wins can be lessons learned, a chance to do something new, a chance to appreciate an aspect of your life you take for granted.

Today decide that no matter what happens, you are winning.

An Admirable Trait

Advice + Inspiration, Uncategorized

It was presentation day, and our group was up next.

Nerves were setting in, and I turned to a classmate, “Well, here goes nothing. I’m so nervous.”

She looks at me. Pauses and then says, “You’re a great presenter- you’re talented, and you can do this.”

I’m not repeating what she said to rub my own ego but rather to acknowledge her words and actions.

How many times has someone come to you with an insecurity and you’ve responded by:

A. Being annoyed assuming that they were seeking attention

or

B. By saying something like “you’re fine, stop.”

(Both of which are completely not comforting)

Let’s face it. We all feel anxious and insecure at some point in our lives. All of us. Sometimes in these moments we really just need positive affirmations.

So I encourage you next time someone comes to you with an insecurity or fear not to respond with:

“Shut up you’re not ____”

“Whatever!”

“Stop”

Instead, try positive reinforcements. It can feel like extra effort, but it’s worth it. These are phrases that sound like:

“You are worthy, and you will get through this. I believe in you”

“You’re intelligent, and you will figure it out”

“Your *insert body insecurity* is perfect the way it is”

It will make a world of a difference in that person’s day. It did for me.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Falling in Love with an Idea

Advice + Inspiration, Uncategorized

Have you ever fallen in love with the idea of something? My guess is that you probably have.

We fall in love with the idea of a person, a lifestyle, a career.

We want what we can’t have. Why? We are quick to assume that because we can’t achieve something, we aren’t worthy of having it. This means we fall in love with ideas because we believe they will make us feel worthy. So what do we do? We work to change ourselves in order to fit into someone who is. This can mean changing our values, working hard to please others, or doing things that we actually don’t like.

There’s nothing wrong with self-betterment. In fact, it’s great to have goals to work toward. However, it is important to realize why we have the goals we have. If we have them in order to receive external rewards, it might be a good idea to re-evaluate. The only outcomes and feelings we can control are our own.

Imagine that your goal is to get a job to impress others. You work tirelessly to become qualified for this position and once you receive it, you get the response you wanted- people are congratulating you and some are even calling you successful. What a feeling! A month later, this is no longer the topic of conversation, and you are left with a job that you don’t even like.

One of my good friends once told me, “I used to work so hard to prove myself to others until one day I realized that no one actually cares.” He’s right. When you think about it like this, you start making decisions for yourself. What actually makes YOU feel satisfied? If no one was watching you and you had nothing to prove, how would you behave? What makes you happy with out other people’s approval?

What about when it comes to relationships? A relationship ends, and we fantasize how great our partner was. We begin to tell ourselves that if we just improve this or that, that we might be worthy of their love. We focus on becoming better, but we do it for the wrong reasons. You do not have to prove yourself to this person. Take all the good that you see in this person, and start believing those things about yourself. You do not have to win anyone over.

Win yourself over.

Stop falling in love with ideas, fall in love with yourself.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Stop Passion Searching

Uncategorized

Haven’t found your true passion yet? Guess what? it’s okay.

Yesterday morning I got back into my old morning routine: I didn’t press snooze, prepared food for the day, and went for a long walk while listening to an inspirational podcast.

The podcast episode: The Curiosity-Driven Life (on SuperSoul Conversations obviously)

The episode featured the author of Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert. Right away she tells us to stop searching for our passions. What? I thought she was crazy, but when we hear something controversial it makes us want to learn more, right?

She explained how she used to preach “follow your passion” until one day she received a Facebook message from a woman saying she didn’t have one, and that her speeches actually made her feel worse. It had never occurred to her that not everyone knew what their passion was their whole life as she had.

This challenged her view on life and people and now she has a new belief and speech;

There are hammers and there are hummingbirds.

Gilbert describes herself as being a hammer. Since kindergarten she’s known that she loves to write and has been writing ever since. Do you know people like this in your life? They have one true passion and have stuck with it since you’ve known them. I’ve always been envious of these types of people.

The other type of person she describes as being hummingbirds. I absolutely fall into this category. She said this type of person is always trying new things and exploring. She brings up her friend who has had several career paths in her life. If this is you, her advice is instead of searching for your “one true passion” just follow your curiosities. This takes the pressure off of having to stick to one thing. When we do this, we can enjoy and learn at our own free will. It’s not as serious as we have previously made it to be.

The beauty of a hummingbird

Hummingbirds cross-pollinate. As someone who has experienced and tried many things, you have the ability to take what you’ve learned in one place and apply elsewhere. Experience is wisdom.

In the podcast, Gilbert says that she is the person many people come to for counseling and advice. But she says that when she is in a rut, she calls her hummingbird friend. Her friend has lived through so much that she does not judge anyone for where they are in their life. And because she has experienced so much, she has wisdom to draw from many places to give great advice.

I really love that.

Are you a hammer or a hummingbird?

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

Quotes: Inner Peace

Advice + Inspiration, Uncategorized

Life hurts when the mind is full of attachments – Yung Pueblo

Complaining about something seems to come so easy and naturally to us, but the problem is: complaints have no magic. They don’t make anyone’s day better, and they don’t help any situation. Try going on a complaint cleanse. Monitor when complaints pop into your mind, and instead of saying them out loud, let them go. When we do this, we allow for our language to be part of how we make the world more magical and peaceful. – Cleo Wade

Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best you are capable of coming. -John Wooden

Ambition means tying your well-being to what other people say or do- sanity means tying it to your own actions – Marcus Aurelius

Becoming More Present

Advice + Inspiration, Uncategorized

To be happy is to be present.

To be fully in the moment.

Today we are drowned with distractions.

Text and social media notifications.

We miss that one part of the sentence.

Unaware that the person sitting next to us is desperately needing our presence in the moment.

Become present.

Life is way too short.

Yesterday has already happened.

Tomorrow is not here yet.

Today will never happen again.

Enjoy it, embrace it, live it.