An Admirable Trait

Advice + Inspiration, mindfulness, Mindfulness, relationships, Uncategorized

It was presentation day, and our group was up next.

Nerves were setting in, and I turned to a classmate, “Well, here goes nothing. I’m so nervous.”

She looks at me. Pauses and then says, “You’re a great presenter- you’re talented, and you can do this.”

Her response made me reflect on how we react to others under stress.

How many times has someone come to you with an insecurity and you’ve responded by:

A. Being annoyed assuming that they were seeking attention

or

B. By saying something like “you’re fine, stop.”

(Both of which are completely not comforting)

Let’s face it. We all feel anxious and insecure at some point in our lives. All of us. Sometimes in these moments we really just need positive affirmations.

So I encourage you next time someone comes to you with an insecurity or fear not to respond with:

“Shut up you’re not ____”

“Whatever!”

“Stop”

Instead, try positive reinforcements. It can feel like extra effort, but it’s worth it. These are phrases that sound like:

“You are worthy, and you will get through this. I believe in you”

“You’re intelligent, and you will figure it out”

“Your *insert body insecurity* is perfect the way it is”

It will make a world of a difference in that person’s day. It did for me.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

How Are You?

Advice + Inspiration, mindfulness, Mindfulness, relationships

How are you? How many times a day do you hear it? That played out script when we greet each other. The most disingenuous question you’ve ever heard.

How are you?

I’m great, fine, alright thanks for asking.

I was chatting with my friend the other day, and our conversation stuck with me. At first, we were talking about life, travel and relationships. The usual catch-up conversation we have since we only talk once every couple of months.

In the middle of the conversation my friend paused to ask me:

How are you? How is Coco?

A question that I usually find to be superficial suddenly felt deep.

She was asking how I was as doing as a being. As a whole. Not situationally but truly how I felt.

We hung up the phone and I realized I had never been asked that question outside of the beginning of a conversation. When she asked it, I felt deeply cared for. She really wanted to know.

What if we asked how are you more? Not at the beginning of conversation but once we were deeper into a conversation? It makes it a much more meaningful question.

What are your thoughts?

How are you?

XO,

Coco

Falling in Love with an Idea

Advice + Inspiration, mindfulness, Mindfulness, relationships, Uncategorized

Have you ever fallen in love with the idea of something? My guess is that you probably have.

We fall in love with the idea of a person, a lifestyle, a career.

We want what we can’t have. Why? We are quick to assume that because we can’t achieve something, we aren’t worthy of having it. This means we fall in love with ideas because we believe they will make us feel worthy. So what do we do? We work to change ourselves in order to fit into someone who is. This can mean changing our values, working hard to please others, or doing things that we actually don’t like.

There’s nothing wrong with self-betterment. In fact, it’s great to have goals to work toward. However, it is important to realize why we have the goals we have. If we have them in order to receive external rewards, it might be a good idea to re-evaluate. The only outcomes and feelings we can control are our own.

Imagine that your goal is to get a job to impress others. You work tirelessly to become qualified for this position and once you receive it, you get the response you wanted- people are congratulating you and some are even calling you successful. What a feeling! A month later, this is no longer the topic of conversation, and you are left with a job that you don’t even like.

One of my good friends once told me, “I used to work so hard to prove myself to others until one day I realized that no one actually cares.” He’s right. When you think about it like this, you start making decisions for yourself. What actually makes YOU feel satisfied? If no one was watching you and you had nothing to prove, how would you behave? What makes you happy with out other people’s approval?

What about when it comes to relationships? A relationship ends, and we fantasize how great our partner was. We begin to tell ourselves that if we just improve this or that, that we might be worthy of their love. We focus on becoming better, but we do it for the wrong reasons. You do not have to prove yourself to this person. Take all the good that you see in this person, and start believing those things about yourself. You do not have to win anyone over.

Win yourself over.

Stop falling in love with ideas, fall in love with yourself.

Thanks for reading.

XO,

Coco

3 Quotes on Inner Peace

Advice + Inspiration, mindfulness, Mindfulness, Uncategorized

Life hurts when the mind is full of attachments – Yung Pueblo

Complaining about something seems to come so easy and naturally to us, but the problem is: complaints have no magic. They don’t make anyone’s day better, and they don’t help any situation. Try going on a complaint cleanse. Monitor when complaints pop into your mind, and instead of saying them out loud, let them go. When we do this, we allow for our language to be part of how we make the world more magical and peaceful. – Cleo Wade

Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best you are capable of coming. -John Wooden

Ambition means tying your well-being to what other people say or do- sanity means tying it to your own actions – Marcus Aurelius