How Jealousy Serves a Purpose

Do you ever look at someone online and think “why am I not as rich, happy, successful, or thin as them?”. 

Do you ever talk to a friend or an acquaintance about their accomplishments and leave thinking “why is their life so much better than mine?” 

Comparing ourselves to others is completely natural, but it can be a bad habit that can steal our happiness.

You will never be the person you are comparing yourself to. You don’t know what they have done to get to where they are and they don’t know what you have done to get to where you are. 

Jealousy is a dangerous cycle. It can fill us with hatred and resentment towards ourselves and others. 

What if you took the negativity and anger that comparing gives you and began seeing it as a positive thing? 

Begin seeing jealousy as a point of growth and motivation.

Begin to reflect on your jealousy of others and question what this jealousy can do for you going forward.

For example- One day, you catch up with an old friend and when you see her she looks really good- she lost a bunch of weight, started a garden, and just got a new job that she keeps raving about.

What about her accomplishments has made you jealous?

I’m jealous that she looks super good

Instead of being jealous of your friend’s fitness success ask yourself if this is an area of your life that is lacking? Am I jealous because this is something I want to be bettering myself in? Your jealousy is serving a purpose- it’s a calling for something you have been wanting to do. 

From there- you can genuinely congratulate your friend and ask how she did it. Instead of being jealous- be inspired!!! (also note that success is contagious so you should always be happy that your friends are succeeding- and be patient you are next!) 

To wrap this post up:

Let’s face it- it can be really hard to prevent ourselves from feeling jealous of others. So, instead of sitting in horrible jealous feelings – turn these emotions into feelings of  inspiration. There is a reason why you are jealous of someone’s success: realize what it is and adjust your life accordingly.

Looking at jealousy as an opportunity for growth will help you understand that- where you are now isn’t a permanent state of being. You are still learning and bettering.

Let jealousy motivate you and become exactly who you want to be.

Curious About Guided-Meditation? Here Was My Experience.

I walked from the chilling outdoors into a warm, welcoming house. Candles were lit, tea was made, fuzzy blankets were laid out for anybody who wanted one. I was greeted with kindness and a smile when I stepped inside. 

There were three people in the class other than the instructor and me.

We all picked a chair for our relaxation practice. I picked a red chair- one of those that you can rest your head on the sides of. I grabbed a soft purple blanket and reclined my chair. 

The meditation began. It was delivered in three different sections: guided relaxation, imagery, and love and kindness.

Guided Relaxation

In this section, the class was instructed to tighten parts of our body and release them. We started from our toes ending at the top of our heads.

“you may feel like you are melting into your chair” “release all the tension, let go”, our instructor told us gently.

Although worries about my day and future came in and out of my mind, I felt very relaxed. Deep breathing, heavy body. I don’t know if I could’ve gotten out of my chair at that point.

Guided Imagery

In this part, the instructor read a story to us and guided us through it.

In this process, a lot of the story’s details were up to us. It was a guided imagery that had us envision our inner self.

“What colors do you see?”

“What is being said?”

“ What do the people look like?”

This was the hardest one for me. I kept switching what I was seeing because I kept overthinking what I was supposed to be seeing instead of just letting the images flow. I think this part takes a lot of practice. 

Love and Kindness

The was the last part..now this part made me very emotional.

The instructor guided us to imagine two people on either side of us: it could be a family member who you know loves you unconditionally, a trusted friend, or a spiritual being who you know protects you. 

You imagine them sending you love and then you send them love back. This overwhelmed me with emotion. I’m not sure why.

Afterwards, she guided us to picture all of our loved ones (past and present) surrounding us and doing the same thing- getting their love and sending love to them.

We also had to do this with two other groups of people in our lives- people we felt neutral about and someone we didn’t particularly like.

At the end, she had us picturing the world and giving it a hug and wishing everyone love and happiness. I can’t describe how I felt in this moment- almost as though a weight had been lifted but again it was indescribable.

What do I think about guided meditation?

I think everyone should definitely give it a try. It feels really good and even if you try once it can give you tools to practice meditation on your own.

My favorite by far was the love and kindness at the end. This is one I want to put into my daily practice. I think depending on what you want to work on in your meditation one type might resonate with you more than others.

If you have any questions about the process definitely ask and if you have done one yourself I would love to hear what your experience was like!

Stop Making Excuses Today – Here’s How

I want to travel but..

I want to go back to school but..

I want to become a ____ but..

Delete the “but” from these phrases and change them with “and here’s how”

To stop making excuses you must:

One: Make a decision. How many conflicting goals do you have? You can write a million goals, but at the end of the day it’s only realistic to work on a few a day. Decide on the top 3-5 that will make you the happiest and most fulfilled. Then, make a plan as to how you will work up to them into your daily routine.

Two: Prioritize. You say you want to travel, but you don’t have the money. What about the new purse you bought last week? Your actions everyday reflect your priorities. What’s more important to you traveling or spending money on purses? Now figure out what habits and routines you need to change.

Three: Really want it. You can say you want to save money, but do you actually or do you get more satisfaction by spending your entire paycheck whenever it comes? What do you really want instant gratification or discipline and sustained happiness?

Four: DO SOMETHING! Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity. Start now. You will never have the perfect conditions to begin something so just go do it. You have to do more than just plan to get you there.

9 Tips on Having a Successful Event

Before the Event:

Tell People in advance

Even if you don’t have all of the details set up, let people know that you are thinking of having an event and what the general theme will be. You can send a flyer saying that more details are to come. This way people are already anticipating a follow-up and are getting excited about the event before you send out the rest of the information.

Make the invite personal

While you can send a general invitation, it is nice to send a personal note along with it. Something like “It wouldn’t be the same without you” or “I’m so excited that you are thinking of coming!”

Give enough information

Yes time, date and location are most important but what about size of the event, what  should they bring, what you will provide, and what the general dress code will be? It’s nice to come to an event knowing all of these details. It makes you feel comfortable and ensures that you don’t dress in a ballroom gown when everyone else is wearing jeans.

Get party favors + food

Remember when we were kids and the only thing that got us excited to go to birthday parties was receiving party favors at the end? (oh, and candy!) Well, I don’t think that ever really goes away. It’s fun to give out silly gifts to your guests because it makes them feel special. You don’t have to give a million dollar gift, but a little something to show appreciation for their presence goes a long way! And an event is not an event with out food.. don’t let your guests starve.

During the event

Introduce people

If your guests don’t all know each other- you should be introducing them! Offer them something to drink and let them chat it up.

Make sure everyone feels included

Take a look around. What’s everyone doing? If someone’s sitting in the corner make the effort to make them feel welcomed by offering them food, introducing them to someone they haven’t met yet, or just talk to them yourself! You can even play games to crack the ice and get more people involved.

Take Pictures!

Capture the fun moments, the food, the decorations, and the conversations.

Post event

Thank guests

Appreciation, again, goes a long way. The more appreciated someone feels at your event for taking the time to come- the more likely they are to go to your next event!

Send any pictures you have from the event

Who doesn’t love getting funny or cute pictures at the end of a night? You don’t have to send pictures right after they leave, but it’s always fun to receive pictures that other people took. So send them to your guests!

 

On Following your Dreams

You have pages and pages of things you want to do, places you want to see, and goals you want to achieve. It’s all so exciting and awesome, but then at the end of the day, you realize you have done nothing to get there. Your words and thoughts don’t align with your actions and routine. Months pass and you realize all these things will only ever be dreams because you don’t have the time, money, resources, etc.

Does this sound like you?

Almost everyone I’ve met has been here-including myself. In conversation, you talk about your passions and all the ideas you have and at the end of it all you go home to do things that don’t align with your words what-so-ever and wonder why you are unsatisfied.

“words mean nothing when your actions contradict”

You can talk about how in-shape you want to get, how many friends you want to make, and how much money you want to in your bank account, but if you never actually do anything to get there how can anything actually happen?

I used to have a habit of saying all the things I wanted to do, but made every excuse under the sun at to why it wasn’t the right time.

What made me change this habit?

Having Role Models. I began to observe people who I wanted to become like. This is huge! Who’s success do I admire? What do they do differently than myself? How do they carry themselves? Why do I admire this person? How can I learn from this person?

– take this person for coffee

– do research on this person

– reach out to them online

What have I learned after talking to my role models? They aren’t smarter or luckier than me (like I had previously thought), they just spend their time differently. This made working towards my dreams less scary.

Remember that you are enough- you probably just don’t have enough information yet on how to get to where you want to be- that’s why learning from someone else is so important.

Whoever you want to learn from will be flattered that you are inspired by them, so don’t be nervous to reach out!

Surrounding myself with other dreamers. Similar to having role models- surround yourself with people who have similar goals and a growth mindset. These people will change your outlook on life and success, but make sure you are returning that energy back as well.

Friendship is a two-way street- be the friend you want to have.

1-Hour. It is said that it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something. If you’re not willing to dedicate AT LEAST an hour a day to get yourself closer to your goals, are you really invested in achieving them?

Alone time. I used to be so scared of being alone that I would make sure I never was. I would plan to spend time with my friends every single minute until I was ready for bed. Every activity from grocery shopping, homework, to working out- I had to have someone with me. It’s healthy to be social, but not to the point where you don’t know who you are when you’re alone.

Now, I make sure I give myself alone time to reconnect with myself, remember my goals, and plan what I will do to make sure I can get to where I want to be.

Picturing my ideal self. This past weekend, when I was talking to a close friend, she shared with me how someone she knew passed away recently. She said: “during her memorial, her friends said that she was the type of person to always follow through on her word. It made me think that I need to be more conscious of my effect on others and it made me question what kind of energy I want to project onto this world”.

What do you want to be known for? How will you put it into existence?

 

Are there any habits you have embedded in your daily routine that have helped you achieve your goals? I would love to hear them. Thanks!

 

3 Quotes You Need to Hear Today

Get Inspired & Keep Going.

 

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not entice us to have them.”

Dreams do come true! Believe it, breathe it, repeat it.

“Sometimes you must hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain, because life’s greatest lessons are learned through pain.”

Pain serves a purpose. It makes us more compassionate towards others and overcoming struggles can help us learn more about ourselves. No one ever became strong without struggling first, remember that.

“You can’t win the race if you don’t run”

No not physically running, but think about it. How can you accomplish something by doing nothing? You can’t. Don’t let fear of failure prevent you from starting.

 

A Moment to Check-in with Yourself

It’s so easy to get so caught up in our busy schedules that we forget to take a moment to ourselves. Like Oprah says, “the greatest gift you can give yourself is time”. There are many ways to interpret this quote and they all make sense. You should give yourself time to heal, improve yourself, and time to reflect. Today, I want to focus on the reflection piece. I think we all know that reflection is good for the soul, yet we rarely make it a daily practice.

Reflecting can have a number of benefits. When we are so consumed in small details and daily tasks, we often forget the bigger picture. This can result in a loss of motivation, satisfaction, and can cause us great amounts of stress.

So today, I want to prompt a brief reflection. Grab a notebook or just think about the answers to these questions:

What do I hold sacred and how do I express it?

Is it your relationships? Your profession? Pets? Spirituality? It can be anything and it doesn’t have to be just one thing. Make a list.

What do I like about my character?

Don’t be modest! Truly, what values do you hold that you are proud of?

What can I do for myself today?

Your greatest investment is yourself! What will you do/ have you done today that shows yourself love. It can be going to the gym-investing in your health, it can be taking a long bath, learning something new, going to bed early, etc.

How can I make a difference in someone else’s day today?

Doing things for others makes us happy! Are you going to bring a coffee to a coworker who helped you out yesterday? Will you compliment someone? Little things like this go a long way. Start noticing the positivity that surrounds you and return that energy back onto others. And remember that you don’t have to bend yourself backwards to do something nice.

 

Happy reflecting! Today is your day.